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 Mar 2013 Destiny Diadem
Sub Rosa
I climbed the rotted staircase
into the blackest part
of my brain
where a fridgid silent room
awaits a tenant
patient, and strong
enough to live with
it’s secrets
it's burdens
heavy as the
Earth.
.
I gave you the key
and my faith
” It’s going to be tough.”
” I can handle it.”
You were so sure.
But I knew I would
destroy you
in the end.
.
I wondered about you
up there,
alone with my
raw, unpolished thoughts.
Sometimes I cried,
knowing that I was hurting you.
All my painful words
and horrors
came to live with you
in the dark room.
.
I can feel your screams.
They reverberate through
my body
to this day.
.
Grief swallowed me,
and shoved me up the stairs
where blood spilled over
the steps
and pooled at my feet,
icy, and thick as tar.
” Go see,”
” Go see what you have done.”
Grief whispered.
.
I already knew.
You said you could fix me
repair my mangled
memories.
I didn't believe you.
In the dark room
I saw you sit on the
window sill,
while my demons played
at your feet.
You reasoned with
the glass.
.
I saw you open the latch.
I saw you let go.
you fell.
Ifel alongside you.
Deeper into my
warped little mind
where I buried myself in
guilt.
.
It was my undoing
that left you
to rot
in my
darkness.
.
Always

Try

To

Make

Me

Wanna

Stay

                       I Can't Do It Alone.
I want to write a poem
he shouts

then tell one to the pen and ink

I have
he screams
They just don't shout


Then write a poem

I am
He yells
But they won't scream like me
the way I would if I--

Then scream!
he shouts
Uncomfortably on one shoe,
this Cinderella of Bangalore,
stood  in front of "Infinity mall"
(No prince could miss a girl here)
peering in to every funky car,
from the wee hours.
With the other shoe in hand
for easy identification, (how smart!)
her lovelorn prince, fell asleep
at the precise time
when his taxi passed her.
 Feb 2013 Destiny Diadem
Maria
Kiss
 Feb 2013 Destiny Diadem
Maria
Brush stroke of lips on innocent skin.

First kisses are always the hardest ones to predict.
Her red luscious lips,
 repeat his name in whispers,
          such exquisite torture!
I hear you
like the ringing in my ears
in the time
between consciousness
and dreams

fading scar tissue on my skin
feels so far from healing

aggressive breath
anxious sweat
pearls at the base of my neck

like puddles reflecting
that one lit up window
that spoke volumes
on the subject
of loneliness
and surrender

smog drifting higher
hugging the sun
in its suffocating embrace
so let the kids play
because tomorrow
the headlines could tell you
that it's finally time
to give up
give in
give away
anything
and everything you tried to save

cough like
your eroded throat
is the holy vessel
and your pain is scripture
pretend you didn't repeat
the things you pretended
to not have heard
so give me your last breath
and I give you my word
I'll never let your anguish
be remembered

so come on
and cough.
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