Nevermind: Poems

Nevermind Jul 2015

I found them there
Like diamonds in a mine
A pearl in an oyster
To a beggar, a dime
Nothing else
Was on my mind
Except the anticipation
Of release they'd bring in time

Who Am I Kidding?

Nevermind Jul 2015

Who Am I Kidding?

I gave you an inch
No I gave you a mile
I carried your weight
All the while
You sat on my back
Moaning like a *****
I really hope
You fall in a ditch

(and break your neck)

Why You Left

Nevermind Dec 2015

Why You Left

You never gave me a reason
So I came up with a few myself
I actually came up with a lot of them
Searching for some resolve
I've come up with so many ways
So many things I've done wrong
I'll never be anything
I'll never be what you want

Wind Chimes

Nevermind Jun 2015

Wind Chimes

Breeze blowing through
Old, rusty wind chimes
I'll always love the sound
No matter how much time goes by
No matter what season
Rain, snow or shine
Just a little breeze
Is all they need
To create a setting
So calm and serene

Winter Warmth

Nevermind Dec 2016

Winter Warmth

Kiss me with the warmth
Of Summer's embrace
Say you'll always love me
Till we fade away
Wrapping you up
In blushing lace
Tracing the smile
Over your face
Beneath my fingers
I feel your warmth
Into my prints
I love you more
Than all the things
I seem to collect
Than all the value
Around this bed
Hopelessly consumed
In worthless things
Hanging on to you
Beneath the sheets
My eyes find the window
Drifting snow
My heart wanders
But I'll never go
I'll never betray the home you've made
I'll never leave the assurance you create

Wishes

Nevermind Apr 2015

Wishes

If I could go back
I would have never made that wish
I willed it to be true
You wouldn't have been missed
Little did I know
In the dark of that room
It was the beginning of the end of me and you
Today the noise is loud in my head
This deafening static makes me wish I was dead
You'd think I would know better after that careless wish
You wouldn't have been missed
You wouldn't have been missed

Withdrawal

Nevermind Jul 2015

Withdrawal

Got so sick
I could hardly move
Lying on the floor paralyzed
Thinking of you

Worm Food

Nevermind Mar 2017

Worm Food

I peel the skin away from my bones
Blood on my fingers, the smell in my nose
You trace the ribs and it feels like home
A feeling I've never ever known
I bite off my fingers and wrap them in lace
Your eyes are rotting out of your face
Your hair has fallen like autumn leaves
But now you're most beautiful, at least to me
If you break a bone I'll mend it back
I'll press my fingers to your skull when you're sad
And when you begin to fall apart
I'll put you back together from the start

Worthless

Nevermind Jul 2016

Worthless

I wanna make you happy
I wanna make you smile
I wanna be the reason why
Your struggles are worth while

Wreck

Nevermind Mar 2017

Wreck

I spent my life wishing
That you would come around
Eternally hoping
You'd catch me coming down
***** swirls on porcelain
Round and round and round
I see my own reflection
And you're nowhere to be found

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Nevermind Jun 2015

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Maybe too early
Perhaps too late
Maybe a foot
Or a mile away
Maybe oceans
Or just over a stream
Is the distance that keeps you
From your dreams

Yellow Flowers

Nevermind Apr 2016

Yellow Flowers

He loves me not
She loves me not
They love me not

You

Nevermind Apr 2015

You

Every time you held my hand
The skeletons in our closets would dance
Round and round and round they'd go
It was the only thing that let me know

I was real

Where are you now that I need you the most?
I miss the days when we were so close
There isn't a moment that you're not on my mind
I think about you endlessly
Day and night

I know it's selfish of me
You're probably happy now
But the noise in my head is just so loud
It's screaming at me incessantly
And the humming static won't let me be
But when you were here with me
My demons lurked silently

Now you're gone and everything's wrong
I barely have the strength to keep holding on
I'd do anything to have one more day
And I'm so sorry for whatever I did to make you go away

You Again

Nevermind Dec 2016

You Again

So tired of the same old thing
Afraid of change
In disbelief
Walls are closing
In on me
I'm suffocating
In eternal sleep
Dragging my feet
Through this life
Stumbling and falling
Wishing to die
Sleepwalking nowhere
Just to survive
I hate living
But I'm afraid to die
Leaning against these porcelain pipes
Echoing out these silent cries
Demons feasting on souls at night
Silence consuming empty eyes

You Are A Storm

Nevermind May 2015

You Are A Storm

You are a storm
Your hair
Falls like rain
Your voice
Is soft rumbling thunder
Your touch
Sends lightening
Through my body
Your eyes
Are gray skies
You are a storm
Yet you are
My sunshine

“You Are Weak”

Nevermind Sep 2018

“You Are Weak”

I’ll never mean anything to you
And that shouldn’t matter to me
Sometimes it really is the truth
That’s so hard to believe
If I don’t take hold of these things
They will drift away
The words that burn like cuts and sting
They bother me everyday
I’m the only one who can believe in me
What can anyone else say
I always feel lonely
But I push everyone away
No one loves unconditionally
Except Mary Jane

You'll Always Be Enough

Nevermind Nov 2015

You'll Always Be Enough

I want to hold your sleepy hand
And kiss your sleepy eyes
I want to lay on dying grass
And look up at the sky
I long for drives down moonlit roads
Going places no one ever goes
I want that something that you give
The one need not be explained
A silent gift
I want that nothing that you give
It's everything to me
It's why I live

“You’re Not Old, Dad”

Nevermind Feb 2019

“You’re Not Old, Dad”

I love the way, even on your busiest days
You still find the words, at least something to say
You always swoop in when I’m at my worst
Like everything I’ve ever been searching for
When I’m with you it doesn’t feel bad to cry
And even still the tears won’t leave my eyes
I just get so hung up on your thoughts
Secretly wishing to know them all
The mystery will always draw me in
Old to you, new to me, it’s always been

Your Song

Nevermind May 2015

Your Song

I'll never forget
The sound of your song
It still rings in my head
It seemingly mocks me
Now that you're gone
How loud it was
It could be heard for miles
It ended so abruptly
I'll miss the sound

You Were Home

Nevermind Sep 2015

You Were Home

I carried on for quite some time
With the thought of you nestled within my mind
So blissfully unaware of the bitter truth
You had long since left me far behind
I'm slowly becoming a landmark
On our overgrown path
A dying tree, solemn and silent
A boulder among the tall grass
One others can come and go from
Or simply walk past
Everyone wants someone
To call their very own
Everyone longs for someone
Who won't leave them alone
Now you're gone
And all I know
Is that when I was with you
I was home

好きだよ

Nevermind Mar 2017

好きだよ

Blushing velvet underneath your eyes
Shimmering, soft lovers disguise
Cool stained glass and lavender skies
You say hello but your eyes say goodbye
Rose petals flutter atop of skin
Like the love we're wrapped up in
I close my eyes and dream of the kiss
But you'll never relieve my lonely lips
I lose hold of this false innocence
I can't pretend we're still just kids
You've blossomed into forbidden fruit
But I'm still hopelessly in love with you

— The End —