derailed-trains: Favorites

Oct 2018 derailed-trains

Pudge

I will love you with no regards as to who you've loved before me. No matter who has tasted your oh so precious lips before they met mine.

I will love you no matter who hates you or who loves you, or who loves hating you. I will love you no matter who you love or who you hate, or who you hate loving.

I will love you no matter what a certain group of people say about us, even if this certain group of people are your friends, my friends, or our parents.

I will love you as a novel loves being read and as the reader loves reading a certain quote that he found on the internet that convinced him to buy the novel and how that certain quote loves being revised online as to fool someone's followers on Twitter that it was his own.

I will love you no matter how many typos you have when drunk texting me, or drunk texting someone else who, I hope to God, isn't your ex.

I will love you no matter what songs you sing in the shower, no matter how wrong the lyrics are or if you're out of tune, or even if you don't take showers at all.

I will love you as a graphic artist loves drawing his favorite stroke, even if his professor says it's not the right way it should be done.

I will love you as a certain DJ loves playing his favorite remix, even if the crowd hates The 1975 remixes because they're too biased to appreciate it.

I will love you no matter what bands break up next year and no matter what bands get back together and pull out another Fall Out Boy.

I will love you even if the clowns stop laughing at their own jokes, even if the priests start questioning their own homily sermons, or even when the masses stop laughing at the priest's jokes at homily.

I will love you even if you stop correcting my works even when you grow tired of my mistakes, not only my grammatical ones but the ones I make literally.

I will love you no matter what color your hair is or if you wear contacts to sleep or not. I will love you even if you stop tracing my lips as I fall asleep beside you, even if you steal the blankets at the coldest of nights.

I will love you even if you regret meeting me and that you allowed me to woo you with my saccharine tongue.

That is how I will love you, so please just don't regret loving me.

Oct 2018 derailed-trains

...

Oct 2018 derailed-trains

Pudge

...

you are eighteen and struggling to know who you really are.
the friends that you keep close make you feel so worthless
but at least you aren't lonely,
or at least that's what you tell yourself.

you think about how things were so different a year ago
and how things quickly fell apart.
two dimensional friends come and go
you don't even have the strength to care anymore.

so you write down all the things real enough to say
but not enough courage to say it.
that's the thing about art, it's still beautiful
even though it may be broken and misunderstood.

Oct 2018 derailed-trains

breakup letter

Oct 2018 derailed-trains

Pudge

breakup letter

we both knew
that this was going to hurt
sooner or later
so stop crying
this love is a wound
that we kept on pretending,
kept lying to ourselves
was a battle scar
for a war
we've never even fought

I'll pack my bags
and stitch my wounds
so please, at least
have the decency
to tell me you didn't
really love me

at least, give me
a reason to sleep
after I've cried
rivers out of my eyes

lie for me
one last time
for old times sake
pretty please?

Oct 2018 derailed-trains

If There's Smoke, There's Fire

Oct 2018 derailed-trains

Pudge

If There's Smoke, There's Fire

picture perfect, sadly, doesn't translate into emotions. paperweight relationships usually die with the threat of emitting a spark. we are the people who were raised not to tame the flames inside us. this is the only way we know how to love. it's either we both go down this rabbit hole or you can sit your *** down in Kansas, Dorothy. there is no in between, we either entangle ourselves in this folie à deux or nothing at all. sad to say you'll never know how brutal honest lust feels like. how these muffled moans sound like unwritten gospels. how these jaw clenching sighs are the only prayers that cannot be held back by the ceiling. I'd always choose primal over prim and proper. if it's anything short than honest, consider it fake. life is too short to spend it people who are half measures.

Oct 2018 derailed-trains

the absence of color

Oct 2018 derailed-trains

pluto

the absence of color

you wake up
his hair is spilled across the pillow,
the sun slants across his cheekbone
and his breath is slow and even.
he smells like an open field
and his body is wrapped around yours
so he keeps you warm.
you think,
there is no moment better than this,
that he is too perfect to exist.
but you wake up gasping,
skin soaked in sweat.
you lie there for a long time,
in your completely empty bed.