You may be old, but you are not governed by fear,
Death comes and you welcome it,
You laugh at the few who cry,
Your heart still wanting to be alone,
I want to be just like you,
But is that wise, Old Man?
You hate the wind,
Is it because you can't be free like the winged?
You think love is a foul word,
You embrace resentment,
I want to be just like you,
But is that wise, Old Man?
Have you ever had a friend?
I bet you don't need one,
I bet you never had your heart broken,
I wonder if you have one,
I want to be just like you,
But is that wise, Old Man?
                                              -**Firefly

'Twas not normal,
To see children born without wings,
"O cruel sins!"
The brittle women sings.
Mother's hid their wingless children,
Tucked them away,
Ignored their wheezes from dusty, old corners,
Prayed to heaven for a growth spurt,
In the meanwhile,
Wondering how much it would hurt.
                                                           ­       -**Firefly

Maybe it was just me
over thinking
imagining things that should've
could've happened
if I wasn't such an avoider

Maybe it was just you
not being straight about anything
Like you expect me to read your mind
I wish I could

Then again, it is just me
because I am such a lowly coward
who can't even acknowledge
my own truth

It's me, it's my fault
I let you slide
I let you go
And you did
To my dismay, you did

I'm not exactly regretting it
nor am I sad about how it turned out
I just wish I did more
I wish I was a little braver like you

I wish I told you
I wish you knew
I wish I can tell it now
But it wouldn't change anything
not even your mind

your brown skin touches mine
and my cheeks burn
your lips press against my cheek
and my heart skips a beat or two
you tell me you love me
and the butterflies fill my gut with glitter
and rainbows
and sunshine
and soon I don't even remember what pain feels like anymore

you hold me for a spell
and I become engulfed in you completely

not wanting to be anywhere else
in the world

light a candle in the wind
if you dare to take chance
and waltz on the moon
for our very last dance
my prince of the sunrise
my lovely dark knight
you shine brighter than heaven
oh, love what a sight!
your breath on my neck
is a passion of gold
your grasp on my heart
reaches down to my soul
our lives remain questioned
our future is blind
so enclose the tips of your fingers
so deeply in mine
when I look into your eyes
i know i am home
when you speak tongues of life
i know i'm never alone

i'll lay down my life
as your lips kiss my brow
the fire you create
please don't put it out now
this is not a replacement
nor a humble goodbye
but rather preparation
for the difficult times
though we shall not bear witness
to the back of our minds
let us just keep on dancing
until our bodies decline

for even in death,
your heart will always be mine.

"Daddy! Daddy listen to me count!"

One. I am the one. Your youngest descendant. I had no claim to your throne. I didn't want your crown.
Two. You had two other women besides my mother. Your beloved Queen, her closest lady in waiting, and my Mother, a peasant barely of age.
Three. In case you ever wonder a single mother has to work 3 jobs to afford an apartment, that smells like cigarettes and depression, and a diet of Ramen Noodles and freezer meals.
Four. "Mommy cries alot. I can't seem to figure out why. She told me I'm gonna be a big sister. I hope it's a boy."
Five. "Mommy never leaves my bed side at the hospital. We lost our house because Mommy had to quit her jobs. I don't like it here though. They poke me with needles and I'm losing my hair."
Five. "Mommy tells me it's okay that I can let go."
Five. "Grandma said an angel came in the night to make me better.
Five. I got called a boy in the bathroom today.

Five. I forget how to count when I'm emotional.

Five. I don't want to be bald.
Five... I mean...
Six. Your peasant found comfort in the arms of your best friend. His names Jim. He introduces her to Mary Jane, Molly and Aunt Hazel. When they're with her she forgets her two baby girls exist.
Seven. After 7 foster homes we ended up back with Mommy. She's more tired looking but they say she's clean. She still smells like our first apartment.
Eight. My innocent voice would carry the same heart breaking question to my worn out Mother's ears. "Why don't I have a Daddy like every body else."
Eight. The first time I was called a *******.
Eight. At 8 the bullying began.
Eight. Maybe I'd be better of dead.
Eight. He wasn't suppose to do that.
Eight. Mommy said it's wrong for a man to touch me like that.
Eight. Daddy why didn't you save me. You were suppose to protect me from all this.

Eight. Because you loved the feeling of the bottle pressed firm to your lips and the scorching of your throat, burning away any truth that could crawl it's way out your mouth more the 8 children you claimed and your ***** little secret.

Nine. I've seen you 9 times in my life. And each time you look worse. No teeth. Little hair. You've had 9 strokes in just a few short years.They say you spent to much time with Jack, Jim, and Jose. They don't know how you're alive.
Ten. I used to think you were a king. I used to tell myself you were busy running a country, fighting a war, doing anything noble. Instead of just leaving me.

10. I'm an adult now.
9. They say you accept the love you think you deserve.
8. Maybe that's why I fall for the jerks.
7. There's a boy. He likes your friends too.
6. I don't think I'm very happy anymore.
5. Sometimes I like to hang with Uncle Jim and Uncle Jack.
4. I can never have just one.
3. Each time it get's harder to say no to Mommy's girl friends.
2. I'm the daughter if two addicts.
1. "See Daddy I told you I could. I can count from 1 up to 10 and back down 1 again!"
"Sweetheart, that's a teddy bear not your.. your.. your..."
"I know Mommy I'm just pretending."