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regret.
i regret letting you in.

love will always start with illusion.
and i fell in love with
the mirage you displayed.
i told myself that
the person i fell in love with
was still there.
that is why i stuck around

for so long.

for so long i believed that you still loved me
as much as the sun loved the sky.
even when you said you didn’t,
even when your voice didn’t feel like

home.

home was late night conversations.
home was your laugh ringing in my ears.
but what was once the house we loved in,
it is now dominated by ghosts.

it has been 8 months.
i still

regret.
i regret letting you in.
 Nov 2018 daylene wolfe
kgl
like a cigarette, ignited and raised to your scornful lips
you made me your addiction
and i let you consume me
 Nov 2018 daylene wolfe
Sarah
Canvas
 Nov 2018 daylene wolfe
Sarah
I wish I knew how to take ink to paper
Before I took blade to skin
But sometimes I just feel nothing
So that's what write
 Nov 2018 daylene wolfe
Sylph
Roses
 Nov 2018 daylene wolfe
Sylph
Roses are Red
Violets are blue
You love me
but im scared to love you
....
My thorns will hurt you if get to close
Please be careful they hurt the most

Dont fall for my blood read pedals
Because im telling you their the devils

I know i seem sweet
But i will make you fall to your feet
....
I hurt them
I will hurt you
Maybe not on purpose
...But i guess its just what i do
...
Im sorry
I really dont want to hurt you
And i would never try
But it always seems to happen to others
I really dont know why...
Aaaaaah life *****
Mom,

     I'm sorry. Everything about me
you see as wrong, I
see as inescapable.

     Truth be told,
I have never wanted to escape
a thing   but you.

Sorry
      sorry
Sorry
      sorry
Sorry
      sorry,
Mom,

     I just don't buy into your Yeshua.

Sorry
      sorry
Sorry
      sorry
Sorry
      sorry,
Mom,

     I wear the tattoo of the sulfur cross.
And I wear it well.
 Nov 2018 daylene wolfe
Qwn
Don't say you love me,
And my god, Don't say that you're sorry,
Cause what happened is the past,
But you can't take it back.
 Nov 2018 daylene wolfe
np
Apologies
 Nov 2018 daylene wolfe
np
You say you're sorry
Sorry for taking advantage of my kindness once again.
Sorry for ruining our chances at being close like we were.
Sorry for pushing us farther and farther apart.
When will you realize sorry doesn't heal everything.
It's not the tape you easily put on a rip in a paper,
its not the needle and thread you used to patch up your torn shirt,
its not the band aid you put on your open wound.
Because soon enough,
the tape dries
the thread loosens
and the band aid falls off
But don't worry, you can always say sorry.
By now sorry has probably set up a tent on your tongue, it seems to be the only thing coming out of your mouth.
When will you realize sorry doesn't heal everything.
It  isn't supposed to last a couple of weeks.
The more you say it, the less meaning it has.
I wont be around to wait for you to figure any of this out.
Sorry.

n.p.
you inspired me you always do,
I'm excited that I met you,
you make me smile,
you make me laugh,
thank you for being my other half.
 Nov 2018 daylene wolfe
N
Dear depression,
I was 11 when you forced yourself on me. You never introduced yourself or even asked to be friends, you just took over my life. My happy days were gone, you kept following me around making me feel unwanted.
I did not want you here.
You grew as I grew, creeping into the quiet moments when I thought I was alone. You made me feel like I was nothing. I woke up looking forward to sleeping again - it was my escape. Yet you made my escape so difficult to reach.
I used to be so happy when the sun came out shining on my skin as I ran through the yard and laughed, with no care in the world.
But that laughter turned into tears, the sun into darkness. My heart and soul cries for help as I try to fight you.
You changed me - You keep me in my thoughts.
I'm stuck in a dark empty place that was once my self, but now it's gone. You left me far beneath my tears. You have taken my life away.
Why can't you just be gone already!!! I do not want you here, I never did! You have taken so much, what else do you want from me?!

I don't want you as a friend anymore. I can't take the constant fighting for my life. You ruined me. You ruined my mind, heart, body, and soul. You come back every time but you never leave. When will you leave me? I write sobbing knowing how much you have damaged me. I want you to leave and never come back.

There's not enough room for both of us.
So may the best one win.
Confused and misguided I found myself in the bookstore,
Looking for myself in the writing of poets,
Where pain and love met, I yearned for more
Found myself in disguise, broken, feeling time fly

Broken and insecure, I found myself in the bookstore.
Reading about my past lovers, was I not strong enough for the storm?
Loved a man who failed to explore,
The woman inside me begging for more

Lost but committed, I found myself in the bookstore.
Reminiscing on our lust, was I a bore?
Picking up a book filled with promises,
Will I ever get what love has in store?  

Running towards lust, I ended up broken in the bookstore.
You left me broken but wanting more
Addicted to your soul, I failed to remember..
That I met you at the bookstore

-Henessy J. Beltre
bookstores and libraries bring a great level of tranquility.
(© Henessy J. Beltre 10.10.2018)
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