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Drowning in old sorrow
Yet ignoring the extended hands
Utterly selfish to dare expose vulnerability
A deep rooted want to become a-
part of the bleak sky
But, truthfully known the earth-
would be a final resting place

Why does one chose the walkway-
that caresses a personal netherworld?
Each portion of forced effort falls short
Especially in the eyes of the inner perfectionist
My closest friend is a crippling emotion
It sends consistent reminders-
in my dreams-
of my broken
aspirations.

Nightmares are a lingering-
background in my head
Why must detest my own blood?
For it is brimming with the corruption of loathing.
The engraved disappointment-
I grew to be-
Is even repulsed
by the soul within.

*Plaster a grin
and keep it all in.
Just jotted down my emotions about a month ago.
This is boredom
Tedium at its best
This is freedom
But still I cant get any rest
 Apr 2016 david mitchell
summer
i see you,
i smile.

every time,
i hear your name,
i get butterflies.

every time,
i am near you,
i can't speak.

every time,
we touch accidentally,
you feel the electricity.

every time,
i see you,
my heart breaks.

every time,
we talk,
my heart breaks.

every time,
i need you,
you're not there.

every time,
every single time,
i will never have you.
 Apr 2016 david mitchell
summer
i see you,
i smile.

every time,
i hear your name,
i get butterflies.

every time,
i am near you,
i can't speak.

every time,
we touch accidentally,
you feel the electricity.

every time,
i see you,
my heart breaks.

every time,
we talk,
my heart breaks.

every time,
i need you,
you're not there.

every time,
every single time,
i will never have you.

enjoy your time alone,
lonely while you **** the *****,
all those ****** who only want one thing,
and are gone.

you don't need to bother about wether or not i am going to find out,
to guess your lies,
because i am gone.
 Apr 2016 david mitchell
summer
Just another helpless,
desperate girl,
wanting your attention.

She says what she needs,
to get to you,
to make you care.

That's what you think,
because she smiles a lot,
because she laughs and seems to be happy.

You think she is faking it,
that she is using you to get somewhere,
that she doesn't actually care about what you two talk about.

Just another helpless,
desperate girl,
wanting your attention.

Wrong,
a girl,
yes.

But desperate,
for you,
no.

Desperate,
for help,
but no helpless.

She just need someone to listen,
someone who cares about her,
someone who can understand her demons.

She is cold,
on the inside,
every night.

She barely sleeps,
eats,
because she is scared.

But to you,
it's all an act,
to use you.

You don't really want to be her friend,
because you think of the worst,
when really all she needs is a friend.

She worries every night,
if befriending you was a bad idea,
but she knows that in the end she can trust you.

But to you,
it's all fake,
she doesn't have any demons.

How can she,
she is happy,
always laughing

Wear nice,
bright clothes,
and always having a good time.

But for her,
it's all an act,
to hide how she really feels and to hide what's going on in the inside.

But all you thinks she is,
in the end,
is.

Just another helpless,
desperate girl,
wanting your attention.
_________________________________________________________________

All i needed was someone to listen, to care.
But you were to caught up in the over-thinking part to actually care.
To care that i needed you.
Anyway, if you really care, my demons are worse then ever.
And all i want is you to be there, just to be there is enough for me.

_________________________________________________________________
 Apr 2016 david mitchell
summer
you left me,
i get it,
i wasn't good enough,
for you.

my demons,
got the best of me,
i am sorry,
i cried all the time.

but i loved you,
with all my heart,
more than i could tell you,
more than i could give you.

and because of that,
i am falling apart,
alone,
without your arms around me.

to keep me safe from it,
the darkness,
the sadness,
i am sorry.

you left me,
and i never meant for it happen,
i loved you soo much,
i still love you.

but i am fading,
i have no energy left,
to fight this battle,
and to be happy with my life.
i am sorry.
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