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"it's a natural disaster folks, one of the biggest and most dangerous we've seen this year and in this decade."

(but have you seen me?)
it's all natural, 100% natural.
i run back to him in the face of my flaws
like a child seeking words of comfort
desiring strong arms that spell "security"--

does that make me a coward?
He always comforts me, puts up with me.
Walking into a store can be dazzling
and distracting,
accepting the culture to embezzle,
anything to lure the customer
and make a consumer.

But walk in, and find
the salesperson to ruin the image:
"hello, can I help you? What are you looking for?"

(not your help, thanks)

Similarly, self-promotional smucks
give me the same feeling.

I'm not going to check out your mixtape, I'm not going to check out
your youtube, I refuse to be bought, just because you asked nicely.
snarky and irritated.
She's desert dry and
he's post-****** snore.

(there's nothing quite as irritating
as a lover who will leave you in the dust.)
luckily that hasn't happened to me.
i.
let me entice you to darker pleasures,
let me ****** you with sashaying hips.
and well placed caress.
ii.
flirtation is an awful habit of mine,
but I don't think you mind.
iii.
darling, you're a goner and I've barely begun.
habits
teenage crime has yet to be measured in
stolen kisses, blatant personality forgery, and heartbreak.
society.
you tasted like shattered glass
and I was never one to walk away
from loving cold hearts and mosaic minds,
while mosaics are considered broken art
still sometimes I wonder if the same could be spoken of broken hearts--
mine never looked quite as good
        as the concrete and sea-glass odds and ends
configuration that sat brightly on my mantelpiece though.

   I also never quite figured out why my name always sounded
just as disjointed off your lips--
why my name never felt normal when it reverberated off the walls as
it was released from your gray toned voice
and why the syllables seemed to sound
less like a moniker, and more like a broken apology--
my name never rhymed with "sorry" but for some reason, it did
when you said it.
your name still sounds like a sin I have yet to forgive
and I've contemplated going to church just to hear
it be exposed to confession--
but I realize now that I confessed all the sins I've ought to say
and this feeling is merely the leftover aftertaste of
shattered glass and blood bitten gums
gnawing at the corner of my mouth.

you once told me,
"the past is the only thing that matters
because it never changes."
I don't remember what I told you,
but I don't smash empty wine glasses anymore
just to feel
like we never parted.
This is the last poem I will ever write about you.
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