Could I keep up with this masquerade?
Before this towering wall crumbles?
Before I could finally open all the windows?

As I ran down, gasping for air,
I knew what this might cause.
Every step I take leads to disaster.
I knew it was time, I had to pause.

For every beat of my heart along with the ticking of the clock,
I knew what I was missing. I had to go back.
Remembering all the moments caused me pain.
At least now I know, love and patience is what I lack.

Why have I been involved in this chaos?
Now things seem more complicated.
Darkness, darkness is coming for me.
Everything is changing. Now I'm hated.

Constant thinking. Overthinking.
This is killing me.
It is pulling me back and locking me away.
I want no more. I need to flee.

How can I end this madness?
This is getting out of hand.
There's too little time.
My only option is to move out of this land.

But I know that is not the only way.
For this is all just inside my head.
I urgently need to stop this insanity.
At least without this awareness, I could have been dead.

It is all my fault.
I am the one who have caused this trouble.
I think of solutions, but never put into action.
I know by time, this disaster would double.

I wait and wait.
I am wasting my time for nothing.
Living each day in idleness,
But with little hope, I know there is something...

But how can I go far with this behavior?
I am still lost.
I don't who I am.
I need to decide. Time is running fast

Yes, I know it takes time,
But i keep dreaming about this repeatedly.
Why am I struggling to move on?
Maybe I need to try more proficiently.

I thought I was the hardworking and optimistic type
I was wrong.
I am so ashamed of myself.
Perhaps I have kept this far too long...

Who am I?
The question still bothers me.
I know who I prefer to be,
But i think it is time to show the real me.

I am afraid.
I don't want them to see this beast.
I don't want to know what they'll think of me then.
Once I've unleashed this monster or at least...

I have endured this for quite a long time.
I don't want them to know that this is ravaging me,
But if I don't let it out soon it will devour me.
Still, I am worried. This might define me.

For I do not know my true identity.
But I can tell, how I am in front of you is not show nor an act
Sorry for messing up. You mean a lot to me.
The way I say I love you is indeed a genuine fact.

Plays the music
of sweet symphony
Glowing, growing hearts,
my genuine melody
The song goes on
with awe and excitement
perfect and clean 'till
A tick here, a tick there
Where is that from?
Never knew there's a beat
says the metronome.
And it begins, it fades
must crank it to go on
harder and faster
But it stopped.

Scratching and screeching,
give it a little tap.
It plays once again,
but rewinds and rewinds
"Nobody loves you,
Nobody did."
Words I've never heard,
tune was unknown
"It was your time
yet you awoke."

The song intensifies

Walls are crashing,
dreams drifting away
I knew it had to stop.
My ears were bleeding,
eyes were tearing
I didn't have the power
so I let it be...
It never stopped,
but my heart did.
My body, fresh and pure
hiding the decayed inside.

I have a mouth, but I cannot speak.
I have two eyes, but I cannot see.
I have two ears, but I cannot hear.
I have two feet, but I cannot walk.
I have two hands, but I cannot touch;
I cannot feel not even a single thing.
Is this the one, the numbness that I feel?

                    I have a body, but we are apart.
            I am complete, but I feel empty in my  
                                                                     heart.
                    I must be missing pieces of me.
             But I am whole, why can I not see?!
    These holes inside, they cannot be filled.             
             My dilapidated house, must never be
                                                                  rebuilt.
               Please stay away and leave me be.  
            My isolation is what keeps me sane,
                                                         ­                      
                                          ­         **it sets me free