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nothing changes
if
nothing changes
 Sep 2024 Anoeska de Wit
Psychosa
I long to crawl from my own skin.
An emptiness consumes me from within.

Far and wide, I search for a home; a prison it is to exist within my own bones.
A gnawing begins to fill my brain,
maggots and vermin lead my mind astray.
I long for the day I am severed from myself.  

Suffering, I sell my soul
to gods of worlds old,
just to breathe a life free of the suffering that is me.
why does this happen every time
why are there so many happy families just not mine
why have i lost the one thing i cant find
why do i have a broken mind
and broken home
and scars from being left alone
and a fear rooted so deeply in my bones
knowing that i haven't grown and that ill be
6ft under with a stone
that says failure
Bored and lazy,
I lay my head down.
My eyes are closed,
Daydreaming.

I do not want
To do a thing,
A side effect
Of using.

I need a
Substance
Just to care,
Even when
I'm losing.

I'm thoughtless
When I'm sober,
Indifferent to
Refusing.

Learn from my
Mistakes;
Don't learn
By doing.

I wish I
Wasn't ruined.
 Sep 2024 Anoeska de Wit
Ronney
I saw myself

To be of no worth

When people shared my view

I felt even worse

So I decided one day

That it was time for a change

I started to value myself

Then so did everyone else
the way in which you see yourself can sometimes be projected onto the way other people see you too

So maybe if you value yourself a little more everyone else would value you more :)
I am a writer
It is an art
No matter what they say
I create

My pen flows
and my wrist goes;
Writing
words no one will see

My hands shake
eyes tear
wrist bleed in lines of icy scarlet
I am a writer; my cross to bear.

If i loved you
I'd give you my hands
my sacrafice for love
my words would be yours

Like Van Gogh,
I would bleed
for; the one I need
to need me.
Open to critique! any comments are greatly apreciated.
 Sep 2024 Anoeska de Wit
Sora
Even if you burn my heart
until there's nothing left but ashes,
I'd still adore the flames
that ignite us for eternity.
the faint glow would put me to sleep, despite falling apart within.
 Sep 2024 Anoeska de Wit
Sora
Perhaps, the one sole star
that we wished upon as kids,
wasn't ever about the glowing speck
in the seemingly endless sky above.

All it took
were a few wakeful nights,
to realize--
it was, and always had been,
you.
It is as though, you were the reflection of the stars above.
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