A question that lingers on my mind is,
What is death?
Can it be considered a salvation?
Escape from this earth?
Or is it a curse,
bringing us to a worse place?
Is there even heaven and hell?
Where did we come from.
If your answer is evolution or, any other theory,
where do we go after we die?
Do we hang around in the timeless boundaries of nothingness?
Or is there something else waiting for us.
I guess I'll find out when I die,
but, by then,
It'll be too late.

Oh My Gosh ------! You got an A for the test again!
You're worthless
You have really pretty eyes!
You're so ugly. My eyes are bleeding
I love your figure!
Fat slop
You're so smart!
You stupid fool

I hate you
I hate you, no one likes you.
Die in a hole
**** yourself
*****
*****
****
Attention Seeker
Stupid
**** YOURSELF
I'm dying, can't you see?

Hey:) Are you okay?

Persuade me.
Tell me not to go.
Give me a reason to live.
please
Give me a sign,
anything.
Show me that you care.
Tell me I'm worth it.
I'm withering.
I just don't know anymore.

I'm fine. It's nothing :D

One of my deepest worries is if anyone will ever love me.
If anyone will ever want to date or marry me?
I can't imagine anyone ever worrying if I will go out with them or,
if I will marry them.
I can't imagine anyone wanting to get to know me better.
I can't imagine anyone having a crush on me.
I can't imagine anyone looking at me and thinking,
"****, that girl is beautiful"
I can't.
Sometimes I wonder if I can't imagine these things because they will never happen.

Plastic.
Fake.
Liar.
Cause of my tears.
You broke me.

Ahh.
I see you 'blocked' me.
Am I supposed to be hurt?
It just proves that I've affected you.
That I've gotten under your nerves.
I think I have the right to watch you burn
after what you have done to me.
I treated you like a sister,
you stabbed me in the back.
You fake *b---ch

The wind ruffles my hair as I sit atop the hill and stare at what I see.
A normal person would see buildings, cars,
anything you would find in a typical concrete jungle.
However,
I see racism and sexism.
Prejudice everywhere.
People assume.
People speak without knowing what the truth is.
People hurt others intentionally
These people who hurt others do not stop to consider that
their victims are human, like them.
All of us,
mere flesh and blood.
We're the same.
Male, female, homosexual.
Asian, Caucasian, Middle Eastern.
We're all bones, muscles, blood.
We are the same.
There's no need to discriminate.

I forgive too easily.
That's my fatal flaw.
After all you have done to me,
I still forgive you.
Why?
I try to convince myself that I hate you.
That you aren't worth my forgiveness.
Yet,
my heart goes ahead and whispers from the chasms of my body.
"It's okay, forgive her."
And I foolishly do.

Can you hear my silent screams?
Can you see the pain in my eyes?
Can you see the way my shoulders slump forward?
Do you see the invisible tears?
Do you feel the waves of my anger?
Do you love me for who I am?
Can you love me for who I am?
For what I've become?
For what I will be?
Can you see past my flaws?
Do you know I'm broken?
Can you fix me?


YOU CAN'T


*you won't

I'm just so angry
I'm paying for her mistakes.
I feel like punching the wall.
I want to hear my knuckles crack from the impact.
I want to scream till I can't scream anymore.
I want to scream till my voice box bursts.
I want to kick.
I want to slap.
I want to pinch.
I don't want to be angry.

On the outside,
I smile may be frozen.
On the inside,
I'm crumbling.
Like pastry.
No way to fix me.
It feels like all the weights are being thrown on my shoulders.
There's only so much weight my shoulders can carry.

Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe you aren't that bad.
Maybe that was just a one-off incident.
I just don't know.
Through what I saw,
you hate me.
Through your actions today,
you seem to be almost... apologetic.
It can't be,
right.
sigh.
We'll never be friends again.
I'll never have the courage to talk to you and neither will you.
We'll remain like this but,
at least I know you forgive me and I forgive you.

I've lost it.
I'm tired of being the imperfect daughter.
I'm tired.
I'm sorry I can't be her.
I hate that I'm not smart like her.
That I'm not perfect like her.
But I hate that I don't have your more.
You have driven me to this point.
With all your insults.

Thank You. Guys, I hit over a thousand views in 4 days. Thank you so much, it really makes me happy to be able to reach out to people.* :')

My friend lives,
deluded,
in her own world.
*She's lost

Boring lesson.
Droopy eyes.
Monotonous voice.
No motivation to study.
Useless subject,
I'll never use in real life.
*yawn

I'm tired of all the drama.
I'm tired of faking a smile
I'm tired
I'm tired of saying I'm fine.
I'm tired of lying.
I'm tired
I'm tired of hearing your insults.
I'm tired of watching you gossip about me.
I'm tired
But most of all,
I'm tired of being tired.
*I'M TIRED

I feel more mature now.
I feel older than before.
After you broke me,
I changed.
I became more bitter.
But it felt bittersweet.
Could something good come out of this incident?
You see,
now I'm like glass.
Under a lot of pressure,
I became strong.
You won't be able to hurt me again.
Yet, glass is still brittle.
If you break me again,
I won't be able to be fixed,
no matter how much glue you use.
There will still be cracks.

Exams in 11 days.
Just the week after tomorrow.
It still feels like it's months away.

I blew up,
once.
I cried my eyes out for no reason.
It felt good.
I felt that the tears dissolved away my problem.
I felt happy.
I blew up once
That's no reason to treat me like a grenade.
Like I might burst any second.
I'm stronger than you think I am.
I'm stronger than I think I am.

Taken from Sara Bareilles' song called 'Brave'. I don't claim to own any part of the song but I just really like these few lines.

" Say what you wanna say,
and let the words pour out.
I wanna see.
I wanna see you be brave!"

You can argue that hatred is the absence of love.
Or that love is the absence of hatred.
One thing you can't argue about is that either one can exist without the other.
On the basis of love,
there must be hatred.
On the basis of hatred,
there must have been love.
One can simply say that,
love is hatred and hatred is love for,
both end up hurting you.

Exams are round the corner but,
I can't stop thinking of you.
Of what we had.
Of what we will never have again.
I can't study.
Your face constantly pops up in my mind.
You already ruined my life once,
why are you back to haunt me again?
I saw you at the mall the other day.
I'll never be able to forget.
And that fact kills me.

Of course.
She's right.
She always is.
I'm the only one who has to 'think logically'.
I'm the only one who has to grow up.
Even her bad grades are my fault.
Go ahead.
Take the blames,
lay them on my shoulders.
Watch me as I struggle.
Mock me as I collapse.

I want to cut.
I yearn to smell that metallic scent of blood.
Feel smooth crimson droplets roll down my wrists.
Watch them fall to the floor, into a puddle.
Into the puddle diluted with my salty tears.
Weakling. Can't you even take this much pain?
Biting on my lip,
I press the razor down even more,
still crying.
The blood flow increases to an ooze.
A thin stream of blood flowing down my pale wrists.
I feel free, I feel like I'm in control. Only I can hurt myself.
LIES
I'll never be the only one to hurt myself.
Other people still will.
I no longer want to stick around to get hurt.
I want to move on the other side,
to whatever may be waiting for me.
It would only be too easy
I want to sink into oblivion.
One day I will.
*That day is today

Disappointment coursed through my veins.
Another failure.
Another time I wasn't good enough.
Why am I not good enough?
Why can't I score straight As?
How can others',
who don't study as hard as me,
score higher than me?
I always tell myself to study harder.
And, I do!
Then, I get another failure.
I wallow in self-pity.
Why can't I change?
Each failure kills me from inside.
Chip by chip.
Piece by piece.
Excruciating pain.

Suffocating.
Restricted.
Can't
breathe.
Lost.
Confused.
Lonely.
Annoyed.
Gasping
for
air.
Blocked
windpipe.
Can't
move.
Hands
bound.
Mouth
gagged.
Silent
screams.
Tears
roll.
I'm
not
fine.

I'm crumbling to billions of pieces.
Shards of glass.
I try to gather them.
Every time I manage to do so,
someone comes and knock them out of my hands again.
How much longer can I take the grueling task of picking myself up?
One day,
I'll just give up.
I'll just fade away.
No one will care.
For I'm a broken girl left in despair.

Love is like an airplane ride.
It'll take you so high,
you could touch the sky.

However,
love can break your heart.
Into two different parts.

Love can be good.
Love can be bad.
Love can make you happy or sad.

Love is fragile.
For (almost) everything that falls,
breaks.

Beep Beep.*
Another message.
What will it be this time?
A threat?
Malicious gossip?
I didn't know.
I had enough.
I told on you.
I guess I told on me too.
Now there aren't any more messages.
The silence,
it's deafening.

All I wanted was a friendship like the one we had.
Not a day goes by without me wondering why
we fell out.
Why couldn't our friendship last?
Now, I live life in a lonely corner and I see you,
laughing,
smiling,
joking.
Doing everything you used to do with me,
with you new "friends"

I'm broken.
You hurt me.
You betrayed me.
I'll never be the same again.
Why?
I trusted you.
You twisted me.
You broke me.
I'll never trust anyone anymore.