Deceptive prying
Lying
Hovering accusations
Twisted assassinations
Burnt offerings
of Misinformation
Dangling
Entangling
Enticing forgiveness
Betrayal unfolded
Put to bed scolded
Love

gun unslung
hanging by his side
swaying with his step

his step thorough
leaving sand behind
floating like particles of dust

dust now forgotten
as his step imprints
upon broken glass

glass shatters more
crumbling
like the cities of Israel
beneath the feet
of falsely declared gods

gods that now drive the mind
with intrepid pace
towards the unsuspecting

the unsuspecting victim
of such malice
that can only be embodied
by death

death
only defied by those
who can truly consider themselves
wholesome and true

and yet the truth struggles
to stop this relentless growth
of pride and self righteousness

and thus the marksman
raises the gun to his target

his breath steady
his heartbeat in his ears

a resonance that he despises
his imperfections are his enemy
And if not to be perfect then what else?

he pulls the trigger

Arched across the balustrade,
Silently keening
A poignant, broken elegy
Unceasing refrains and requiems;

Touch of death unveiled
Ever so gentle,
Wicked in its false lies
And beguiling sweet façade.

Crimson, staining
Seeping through the depths,
Oh how savage,
Cruelly taunting, vicious.

And yet all that we saw,
Was a halo shining bright
A bringer of of life and death
In calming repose, an angel.

There inlaid was a nightmare
a filler of dark, of cold
the boy dreamt alone and sought nothing but sleep
but in that sleep what dreams came were not
what he asked for

Not at all

There inlaid was a terror
a fear of stark, of utter horror
the boy knew what was coming and sought nothing but to stay awake
and in that wakefulness what thoughts could come were not
what he wanted

Not at all

There inlaid was a sorrow
a chestpain so deep, so undying
the boy knew what was true but wanted nothing but for it to be a lie
and in that cringe a revelation came that was not
what he expected

Not at all

There inlaid was a fantasy
with wings so broad, so full
the boy knew that here he could win every battle and take every stride
and in those clouds he would never fall
or falter

Never, not at all

So after each nightmare and wakeful terror
whenever he would cringe for pains and hearts never stolen
the boy allowed himself to find false strength
in a fantasy perhaps but reality enough for him to stay
himself, a boy
and so in that thoughtless space where he always found bright clouds
as opposed to the dreams and thoughts inside and around him
where there were only shadows

The boy flew.

i was never that type of artist
the traditional kind
you know, with a paint brush...

but if i were to paint a canvas with my life
i would fill it with beauty

if i had to,
i would paint the purest of souls
the most loving of design
the most intellectual intricacy
with the most profound modesty

and then i would make it bleed
i would pain; to the t.

then antique it.

Lowly sinner, feel the lies slide off your tongue.
Feel the rush of your vile breath, poisoned with curses.
Inhale the stench of your pitiful rotting soul.
Let the growing horrid being within you enroot itself in your mind.
Allow it to spew hatred as it shifts to fit your soul like a glove.
Lowly sinner, this is your home.
This is your spirit hidden within.
This is your triumph.

I’m not sure how I am without it
Not anymore, it’s ******* toxic
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Just down another and forget to
Sleep, eat, or anything else
Just go out, smoke, get out of the house
What now? I’m broke with nothing to lose
Take another one, don’t worry, not like you can choose
It’s your lifeline, your sanity, I’m so ******* done
With these schedules and meals, just hand me a gun
I won’t shoot it, not right, I’ll aim for the temple
Maybe then I can relax and try to stay mellow
****, now I can’t show her, she’ll think I’m insane
For wanting to shoot my own one-sided brain
**** me, I’m tired, I don’t want this anymore
Cure me, ******* doctors, what else is there in store?
More pills, more help, more mother ******* ****
I’m done with this, with you, I’m tired of it.
Don’t tell me I have this, I don’t want to believe you
I’ll keep living my life as if I can do a “re-do”
Whatever, it’s fine, I’ll deal as I go
I don’t need this, I have this, just won’t let it show
Don’t judge me, don’t hate me, because of this ****
Grow up, acknowledge, I’m living with it.