I woke to a ghost whispering in my ear
Telling tales of the days
Reminding me of lips I'll never kiss again
As the rain splattered against a grey window pane
I rose with a startle trying to rub the thought from my eyes
As if someone else had placed it there out of spite
Through out the morning toxic tears swell
Burning my cheeks for I have failed
I wonder how long I'll sing this song
I'm still lost at sea and far from shore

The search for meaning leaves me uneasy
History is fabricated,rewritten,unauthentic
In the eye of the sky and it's timeless nature
We are stardust exploding into a void
Destroyed and insignificant
Like tiny working ants purely genius and intricate
but far too small to appreciate
On this grand scale I inhale deeply
to capture a moment to hold it
and with one reflex the moment is lost
Vanishing into thin air
Invisible even in it's birth
So what is the meaning?
Why can I capture the world in my spectacles?
What if I draw down the blinds or cure cancer?
So what I might add to the former and latter
I am simply a jungle gym
A step on a latter for children to climb on
It goes on and on until death dawns
Inevitably killing the human song

I hate the way your eyes cast down upon me
Belittling my stance and placing me underneath
I hate the way you assume and are consumed by your own ego
The way you try to shelter me and tell me where not to go
I absolutely hate the way you try to project a certain image onto me
Your expectations repulse me to the point of sickening rage
and leads me examining society wondering how the hell it got this way

The paths we ride
Should be walked and taken in stride
With tiny baby steps and endless wonder
With eyes keen to detail never sunken and sullen
I'll walk into the unknown
Keeping pace but never moving too quickly

Crisp air envelopes my lungs
and I breathe deeply taking in August's monologue
I fade into Summer's passing song
Holding tightly to the moment and every loving thought
because too soon it will be gone
The grass beneath my feet tickles my playful nature
Where once as a young hopeful observer my toes knew the sensation
Intimately
I am morphing into a different breed
As cunning as a fox
I let the fear displace and grace the day with curiosity
and ambitious velocity
Ready for anything and everything to come my way
No longer waiting
I'm joining the chase

As if the sun had rose for the first time
I witnessed the beauty of a day beckoning and bursting with light
Awakening and coaxing my feet
Urging me on
Dismissing the darkeness that once consumed and committed me
With open eyes the questions are endless and I realised how much of a child's mind
posesses my growing wit
I try to expell the corruption and injustice to breath freely if only for a moment
Craving the euphoria nature aptly offers free and full of grace
I ponder her deep waters and ceaseless wind
Trees like towers wave off and hypnotizes
Simplicity is now becoming a great friend
Taming my wild mind
I am clawing at temptation and I must force my will to break this
Who am I without this twisted warping sickeness
I try so hard to decipher this
but only time can reveal the true stasis

It was too sweet
My mouth salivated almost painfully
There were too many chills
Too many thrills
Long nights sugar coated and pale
Sickening

The night falls
Dimming the tensions and strife these lonely days bestow
as she holds tightly to her phone
His voice singing in her ears
And she gazes at the moon only seeing his face
Slipping into a dream of his warm embrace
Imagining heaven beside him
His words guide her
Displacing the angst of love loss
Replacing it with the harmonious song of yearning hearts
He is the man in the moon
The missing puzzle piece
A new start building her up from the rubble of destructive thought
Tearing down her notions of not being good enough

I think it's sort of odd how we love something more
Once it's gone
We're too distracted to appreciate
Too greedy to be grateful
Too lost ourselves to ever listen
I see you there
I feel your touch magnified
I'm leaving tomorrow
Finally tonight
I see you

Fleeting moments pass within the blink of an eye
The more you try to grasp the more time takes and robs you blind
I try to embrace the rapid fire but it burns my chest to ash
Watching as everything I've known drifts past
Out of reach and washed away with bleach
Till there's no color left
Only desperate breaths
and piercing silence
As if I've suffered some tragic death
To gain is to lose and to lose is to gain
But as a creature of routine I strain to maintain
Rythem
But the song is long gone
Now left with fragmented thoughts and a broken wardrum
Undone

They were cold and sterile
Maybe that's why they plagued it
As they placed their signatures upon experimentation
and pushed too hard like a workhorse facing retirement

It's a script indeed
The downfall of a generation
Weak minded fiends cycle it out like ***** laundry
Siphoning jet fuel to reach new heights in sacrifice
It's no wonder why none of us can sleep at night

Me I'm just a piece of paper full of ineligible lines
Treated like a germ
With great pain held behind whimpering eyes
So hard to disguise

My pace quickened as I passed
Glossy eyes and desperate breaths
People clawing crying out
I continued forward heart cast out

I am sleepless
Counting the pauses in your speeches
Wondering what you were thinking
or trying to conjure up for projection
and this yearning is much like an affliction
An infection of affection that's now holding me in reflection
Yet I fail to mention your betrayal to my desperation
and remember only the sound of your breath and your chest heaving
As you went on and on aiming for that academy award
Turning tables and settling scores
like so many times before...

I stared at the empty glass
Imagining the sea
The more impossibilities I conceived
The more my mind streamed
Full and overflowing with such silly dreams

Fading the lines
Aside from my daily life
Lost in some delusions that lack any conclusions
Yet keep me trapped questioning and pursuing

Seeping into my words as I try to refrain
and detain all of my madness from my viewers
But sheltered time has left my social censor in ruins

and just then the glass began to sweat...

I shy from your piercing gaze
Consumed by passion as I wane from the comforts that once kept me grounded
Flying high on the feelings provoked
When you entered my tomb and evoked a lovers ghost
My room now lit with your radiant presence
As I digress and falter to heavy air leading to the path of least resistance
Hoping that my complexity doesn't **** this flame with cold reluctant bitterness
In which the past has inevitably carved into my character
I left my heart upon my sleeve and my frailty translucent
No matter the cost it was well worth the enchantment
The risk exhilarates and vibrates through my cortex
Turning me on and away from my senses
and when you lifted my chin there was no doubt that I want this
By the heat of your hand I melted into intoxicating madness
Adorned in beads of sweat reflecting my bodies tension
Yearning for lips I cant help but mention
because they've become somewhat of an obsession
I'm scratching at your heart almost desperate for recognition
Swearing that I don't need forever
Just one bright moment

I sign my name to each tragedy that streams incessantly
I pour the lines with traces of blood
Crimson hues staining my paper
I sign my name to the work reflecting my shame
My guilt
My unproductiveness
And try to gaze more deeply into the abyss that is my mind
I try to dispense the trash that heaps and swells to great heights
Framing the walls I do not dare to climb
For the fear of falling
I sign my name with red velvet petals that wither too quickily
In such short time
Displaying my pain as if it held beauty
As if it were a crime

I cant dismiss this aching uncertainty
It's wrenching my mind deceiving my senses
At best I half knowingly make it threw each day
My next step uncertain whether stair is present
Leaving my leg often stunted
My heart has floated out to sea and at times
I feel it emerge from such great depth
Back to haunt and drown me
I try to **** it and keep it without me
The cause of so much sleeplessness
Choosing not to feel the pain nor strain
Only to have it return with such vengeance
Leaving me breathless
I sat and watched the time for change grow massive

Mighty the muscle of unmerciful momentum
Taking names, keeping pace, rhythmic with the arms of father time
Back to rehash an ancient scribe just moments away
You can taste it
The blood of the forsaken
Dying a thousands deaths
Ravished by the beast
Whilst storms blow in from the east
With messages of pale horses and unrelenting fate
Demanding blood to cleanse the land and to burn the stakes
Fear tantalizes
Exhilarates
All the kings men take their place
and prepare to battle the cycles history incessantly recreates

The heat left a haze of illusion
As she walked the line between breakdown and motion
The ocean yielded it's breeze
She staggered through hell or so it seemed
Yet around her there was peace

Eyes cast down due to blinding light
That takes so much from her
Yet she's still game to fight
For she knows soon there will be night

Oh distant sun
I ode to thee
While sweating out my impurities
Where once I'd flee
I now welcome rays
Please carry me off to another place

She sat outside the barber shop
In a silent plea
A statue blowing 2nd hand smoke
Into the faces that be
Almost threatening the men
To cut their white hares
The powerlines hissing as she glared

It's the swift wind that caresses your shoulders
and leaves your hair standing
An excitement you can't quite decipher
Whether good or weather bad

A voice that plays tricks
and flicks the light in your attic
The voice of god or fellow man?
Judgment day or just a scare?

Hair raising sensation
Invokes a beast that wishes to feast
and lusts for flesh
A dream where bodies mesh
and sweat
As heat rises and falls
Repetitiously
A gentle brush of lips
As hips dip
and limbs twitch
Overwhelmed by a pleasure haze
Minds drift and displace
Launched to a higher place
Where souls intertwine and reach like vine
To mountains of tremendous energy
Lovingly exploring the mystery
In an act to create and share life

If only today I could meet your gaze
and wrap you in my arms
Caressing the dangers of passion and love
For this is much more than lust
I crave the risk that will follow your kiss
The meaning that reins from your lips
and grips me
Despite the distance
Courageously I hunt for thee
Throwing caution to the wind
As my head spins
Ready to dive in

To exhaust a point to a place where there is no more wonder
Only sweat blood and tears
Pushing vigorously forward
Despite all fear and what has been told
Feeling bold

Kneading this knot
Till it unfolds
To keep movement
with less pain
To gain the bread

Working to maintain a life
Now spent
In search of some kind of meaning for it

Day in and day out
Repetitious routines
Fighting to find some kind of happiness
Found or so it seemed

Knowing that much of what we hold
is never held
So much is borrowed
For temporary spells

Fooling ourselves

Fallen she screamed at the disgrace she faced
and at all those terrible things she couldn't change
Remembering sharp if onlys and could've beens
Presently watching time slip through her fingers
The price of one more lesson learned
One more burn
One more unspeakable discern
To derail or sink the remains of a ride stocked full of
lofty declarations and false pride
As she wrenched toward the sky questioning why
All feeling died
and from the ashes something sinister was born

I tied my tongue
and the knot salivated with anticipation
My lips twitched
as I fell mute and desperate for expression
An ache grew with every passing thought of you
Wanting to reach so badly forced to cut off my arms
I couldn't trust my needy hands
Though I try I can not silence my mind nor stop it from
entertaining words and plays in which you star
If only I hadn't learned your name

I need you here so you can see me
I want you close so you can feel me
I'd love the opportunity to reject you
To spring my fiery wrath upon you

Slaying every misconception
In a way that leaves you in deep reflection
As I giggle with the warmth of a child
After while crocodile

I am lost in a space I cant claim
with shape shifters playing some twisted little game
and I have been pawned into the unknown
Far from any sort of counsel
With silent watchers eyeing my back
Sizing me up to see what I lack
As if I've been put to a test
I cant tell if I've been granted some sort of pass or sentence
As I cling to the fringes of my past
Holding onto the false security I never truly had
and love is lost in midst of this war
Is it myself or someone else trying to settle some score?
Is this heaven's gate or the fires of hell?
What's one without the other?
My skin bloats and swells
As the sea lightly salts my skin
Will I be eaten alive or am I learning to swim?
The question is where I'll go from here
Does the path lead to clarity or am I forever caged in confusion?

Through rays you touched me
Burning my skin
Changing my color to crimson
Where once I worshipped
I now live in shadows
impulsively muttering your words

To see is to defeat

Though few make it out alive...
and I can feel all these splinters sinking into my mind
As I try to resist the temptation and habit
slipped to me by some pesky rabbit
What of my mind?
Was it ever my own?

There are always pieces missing
Something left unknown
To leave one reaming
draining the fruits left forlorn

Turning stone to find bugs as if the plane was rigged
Creepy crawling scarecrows up the stage inside my head
As I begin double taking every passing thought
An inception reflection hurling me to push on
Changing every pattern in the hopes for true starts

An opposition forms inside my bleeding heart
A rejection for the progression of doomsdays little songs
Trust that when you're not looking you're a part of catering business
and in our world today it truly is survival of the fittest

In breath taking moments clarity strikes me hard
In setting myself apart I feel less hallmark
I do not adapt to the world at large for I am small town garb
I'd rather adapt to space than aim to please like stars

Building steadily momentously Epic
Lighting my stem electric transmission
Mind
Body
Spirit
atoned
Vibrating to a distant realm
My eyes like fire as sensation rises
I am that I am
A soul freed from night

If only I could wipe the bitterness from my tongue
and rub the pain from my eyes
As if it were some dream
that never truly touched me
I'd find the purity I was born with

We lay together lost in fantasy
Restless gazing upon different ceilings
Giggling in the remembrance of word plays through long days
Where we still manage to provoke smiles in the midst of our dull lonely ways
Your voice vibrates through a long distanced line
that we both dream of crossing some time
And though time may be a troubling thing
we push on with love and curiosity
Your voice rings sweet melodies to my imaginative tendencies
**** this longing
It's time you cross over and claim your belongings

Hands pressed against grey glass
Tinted by cloud coverage and streaked with rain reflected her dismay
She remained restrained by her sorrow apart from the world
Reaching but unwilling to open and gain
She waned and lessened
Her mouth curved sullen and streaming with colorful frailty
A scream was merely a whisper beyond what her narrowed view could see
That glass that so easily could be smashed
Held her under guilt filled illusion that it would be an intrusion

The sun set fire to the landscape
In rasps of velvet orange brilliance
and I got lost in the strokes of time and consideration
Picturing how many hours passed honing in on every detail
I saw waves of peace caught and sunken into canvas
My imaginative eyes and ears hooked to the shells
Though I tried there was no escaping
I was hopelessly lost at sea

Stationed by belief
As hungry carts push on
Destined to the checkout lines with a fist of great deals
Forgotten once cashed
Repackaged in plastic wrap where flesh was once sacred
Commercial clichés provoking the same old reflections and interests
In the midst of clones and lapse of reason
Controlled and reduced to produce more and more
but the score lacks anything to do with the salvation found in art form
As chained souls morn in the ashes of the wake
We must transcend and break the links
For these ties are the kind that bind minds
I stand alienated and tongue tied as my mind's eye
sets the grocery store into flames
For the dependence and poison it bakes
While trains of unclassy gluttonous tarts
bump carts programmed to jump start
Relinquishing will and spilling milk
I cried out a river of chill

The ants feasted upon the rotting fruit
As the Bluebirds soared high
Sweet Turtledoves and Monarch butterflies
could be seen in the fermenting toxicity
and I thumbed through the *******
curiously
In fear and breathless
With a sickening touch of insanity

To the all knowing Miser
I am far wiser for I have found a way to keep smiling
And though my clothes are ragged
Your edge is jagged
My will is of benevolence and teachings priceless
I wouldn't pay a penny for your thought
At the roots of all evil I'd call you Kenevil
but you wouldn't dare to spare heart
and while you loose all meaning as you dole your ill dealings
I'll observe with great seething
and pray that one day you'll fall from my ceiling
To haunt me no more

We had our time
Hot summer nights
Dreaming under the stars
Kissing scars and getting completely lost
in eachother arms
We bloomed like vibrant flowers
and wept tears of joy
May showers
Talked about our love for endless hours
It was us we entangled in unity
But too soon we experienced the fall
Inevitably we reached a flaw
and those petals withered in the chill
We died out and lost the thrill
This winter has lasted far too long
You're far gone yet I'm still here musing along
Waiting for spring

He excited me into euphoria
His lips the nectar of ambrosia
Beatifying and leaving me exuberant
Centralizing my spirits
Focalizing my intentions to purity and growth
Bringing about equanimity true still calm invoked
I worshipped his sapphire portals
Reflections of hope and irresistible seduction
Falling gracefully to his charm
Fitting perfectly into his loving arms
Cradling my desires and nurturing my aching heart
Eternity felt within his touch
Impacting instantly a harmonious start
Staining and rippling
changing me
I longed for this being before knowing his name
I trusted once more and so much I've gained

You are the cool draft beneath the door
Flooding in freezing my feet
Stagnating me under a sea of blanket
to comfort my fears and cradle my inner child
I fell to you
Hiding my smiles and blushing vibrant shades of nothing
Searching your eyes for treasure and exaggerated tales
to make my life seem less stale
and you would put on your best impressions
to disguise how much you've been lessened
We spun in dizzy frenzies to distort the harsh realities
and banned the notion of death finding our immortality
We'd be young forever as long as we had eachother
We'd stunt our growth and mislead our minds into a great oblivion
Stay blind to the truth and laugh at misfortune
For children always stay on the breezy side of cares
But too soon our long summer day come to an end
and all the innocents was snatched from our hands

I fell into your arms
After tripping over stone cold fact
You held me for a moment until the shock wore off a bit
Giggling warmly at my clumsiness
and I couldn't help but share the laugh
Just then I realized how long it had been
Since someone reminded me to do that

I looked into the sea
and saw a thousand faces reflecting back at me
The cries of many men echoed bouncing off the surface
Sound waves were rippling carried away
Like a whisper in the wind
But gained momentous strength when caught by the current
Pulling and shifting the sands of time
My heart possessed by my mind's third eye
The force of this nature was so sublime
As if passed to me straight from the divine

I dialed your number....
my hands repeating something they've known all too well in the past
and I grasped the phone in great anticipation listening to your tone
but when you said hello you were greeted by my silence
What could I really say?
...it wouldn't change a thing
I just let the static eat away
The radiation light up my brain
and the heat in my cheeks cool
as you ended this strange encounter with someone unknown
But you knew me once
you shook me once
At one point I was your world
but now I am just your pathetic prank caller
leaving you waiting on my word
which we both know is shot to hell

I catch fleeting glimpses of light
in this estranged wasteland of fight and flight
The streets are winding in circles and I am mindful of the cracks
As I walk alone experiencing turbulence

Though I have a lot of endurance
and chase the dawn in pursuit to advance
I have grown weary in many ways
Those fleeting glimpses maybe illusions of gain

Faces morph and contort
taunting me as I pass
and I keep my gaze grounded
For the sky knows nothing of heaven

What is this place that I've been disgraced to?
I wonder how many see the world as I do
but there is no one to share my thoughts of despair
So I keep treading along fully aware

It's as if I've been shocked
My mind a live wire
I wonder how and why my dreams expired
For a cynic I never dreamt to be

But against my best
The darkness found me
and pierced my sight unwillingly
****** me of all tranquility

Who sold me this rotten seed?

Temptations have left me forsaken
but my will was only shaken
shortly leaving some mistaken
that I would falter to the poison of my generation
I seek salvation
In a place built upon degradation
I pick at the foundation
Wishing for a system malfunction
The gears have given me an allergen
The pushed solution cut with acetaminophen
To numb the blind into oblivion
A wise man seems much like an alien
Corruption rises as the population lays down
Praising kings without a crown
Pasting plastic smiles over the town
This massive break from reality has really paid off
The fruits we'll never see and rich we'll never be
No matter how much cash you receive
Consider your soul far out of reach

There he sat
right across from me
under my roof
uninvited
His presence alone triggered a rage
that before him was never known
His words slithered from his lips
Far from anything genuine
hanging in the air heavily
incessantly striking and pressing me
and I flinched at the notion he's been here for years
I saw him before through my families tears
It's surely the game that I oppose
but when you can put a name to it
this illusion grows
that you could take the life from it...

My mind dismantled
decaying in cynic pride
silly fools galavanting
as I watch in bitter taste with darting eyes
wilting in devine nothings
plotting like a theif in the night
working my magic out of spite
only looking for a fight
trying to hate and fuel a rage
Banging in a rusty cage
while spitting on the notion of love
undone lying naked laughing alone
as all of my nightmares begin to unfold
Dancing demons caressing my weakened soul
Darkness surrounds my brittle bones
so far from the point of console
as I tare out my eyes and spit out my tongue
with ears only tuned for the devils song
Slowly dragged to the gates of hell
beyond redemption and cast out

You could tempt me to the crease of a cliff
and I'd follow your scent mindfulness dismissed
I see your danger
The neon signs
but like an animal I trail you
sure to meet a dismise
I let go and plunge
A slave to lust
while you have me at the end of a loaded gun
My eyes begging you to pull the trigger
and deliver me to the only true forgiver
You are see through plastic
a worm in my casket
whispering sweet nothings that fail to hold my fantasy
I just want your frensy
The exchange of lonesome cleansing
That leaves me bitter and nasty
The kind of love I live to hate
but when you can not have the real thing hate is the only cake
I swear sooner or later they'll burn me at the stake

You gave me a rush with the slip of your tongue
your eloquence radiating hot from your lips
As sligh as a fox your wit tied a knot
I yanked just alittle abashed at the fact I was caught
zeroing in
Your hand reached for my chin
as my gut wrenched and screamed
I caved and grinned
and let my eyes meet your defined brow
like a tree in the forest
this beating went on without a sound
and my intoxication soared but was more played upon
I'll be your little fool
your scapegoat
your mouse
but rest assured one day I'd gnaw my way out

I stood in the aftermath
stunned and on the verge of breaking
mistaken and led astray
displaying dulled shades of grey
with not one to blame
and no grounds to gain
temptations and desire
the devils play
and I watched the cards rain down in flames
so hot to touch so bitter the taste
too devasted to keep a poker face
As the mob watches laughing at my dismay
I cradled a sentiment that lost all value
a picture frame flooded by my immoral statue
but there he stood before my eyes
I scratched out my face and gazed into his eyes
Remembering always falling sweet from his lips
I'll **** myself forever looking back on this