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Damaged Aug 2013
Each day as evening startsto set
The ace builds in her chest
She knows she must go to bed
And try to get some rest

She hugs her tearstained pillow close
When no okne is around
And cries for one she loved and lost
And screams without a sound

Other see her in the day
They think she's doing well
But every day as evening sets
She enters her own hell

Time hasn't healed her pain at all
Or quieted all her fears
So every night alone in bed
She sheds those silent tears.
Found this on pinterest. It fits me perfectly
Damaged Aug 2013
Nights are getting longer.
I lay in bed just staring at the celing.
Days are getting harder.
Due partly to the lack of sleep.
Partly because It's getting harder to pretend I'm not falling apart.
Every time someone says "How are you?"
I just want to pour my heart out.
Finally let someone know I'm not okay.
Or when I say,
"I'm good."
I just want someone to look me in the eye and say "I know you're not."
For once I don't want to feel invisible.
More and more tears stream down my face
The pain wells inside until I break.
Silver steel friends coming out to play.
I do my best, but it's never enough.
I do my best to stay strong,
but I won't lie...it's tough.
I don't really trust anyone anymore,
I have my past to thank for that.
You see, I try my hardest day in and day out...
but really I just want to lay down.
Six feet under.
Underground.
Trying my best to express everything running through my head...Not even sure if half of this makes sense of if I'm just mindlessly rambling..
Damaged Aug 2013
Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings.
Almost a year ago, September 15th,
two angles were taken home to watch over me.
I could never understand why they had to leave,
but now I know it's because I needed extra eyes watching over me.
Keeping me safe and out of harms way,
their hands on my shoulders when daddy made me afraid.
They took the wheel when the roads got tough,
their arms holding me tight when times got rough.
Now and again I shed a tear,
I love them and miss them.
I wish they were here.
But when I'm feeling sad
and all alone;
I feel my angles right by my side.
Whispering in my ear
*Don't worry, you'll be fine
A little rough. Can't believe it's almost been a year. I miss you Peterlin girls. Fly high
Damaged Aug 2013
It may seem like nothing to you,
but now I look at it different.
Most people would see a deck of cards as nothing special.
For most, it's just a simple way of entertainment.
But for me, I look at them differently now.
A deck of cards can almost resemble society.
There's different shapes and colors.
Different values.
Isn't that how we are in the world today?
You see the aces and face cards,
they're like gold.
They're high in value.
Everyone wants them.
They're simply perfect.
Then there's the number cards.
You know,
two though ten.
They're nothing too special.
Sure sometimes they can be helpful and useful,
but most of the time they just get overlooked don't they?
Then there's the jokers.
Many people don't need them.
They throw them out or throw them to the side.
Or people just simply laugh at Jokers.
They're useless right?

So now walking around, think about this.
Who are you?
Who do you make others feel like they are?
Do you smile at and be kind to everyone around you?
Treating them as those spotless ace and face cards?
Or do you just overlook people?
Is everyone a number card to you?
And I hate to ask, but are you the bully who makes everyone feel like a joker?
Do you tease, or ignore people?
Making them feel like the most unwanted people in the world?

So the next person you see, really stop and think;
how valuable is this person going to feel after an encounter with me?
A little rough, but I think my point has been made. My coach/history teacher did a little activity with us that was exactly what I said above. It really got me thinking.
Damaged Aug 2013
I didn't want to let go because you actually make me feel cared for. I heard it in your voice and felt it in the tightness of your hug. *Someone actually cares.
#32
Damaged Aug 2013
And she's trying her hardest to fall asleep but she can't because every time she closes her eyes, she's terrified of what she sees.
Damaged Aug 2013
I've had quite a few people ask me for advice about high school lately. I keep just telling each person the same things.
~Don't skip class.
~Turn in assignments on time.
~Listen to teachers.
~Don't party, drink, smoke...
All the same basic stuff anyone would probably tell an incoming freshmen friend. In reality though, I'm a hypocrite.
Every time another person asks I just want to scream
DON'T BE LIKE ME
But I can't say that to anyone, because then they would ask what was so wrong with me.
And I can't tell them because then this fake me will come unraveled.
All that will be left is a scared little girl.
So...
~Don't skip class
~Turn in assignments on time.
~Listen to teachers
~Don't party, drink, smoke...
And for everyones sake...
**DON'T BE LIKE ME
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