Damaged

Damaged Jul 2013

What lies where the light doesn't reach?

I don't really think it's the darkness I'm afraid of.
It's what is inside the darkness.
Because inside the darkness hide the truth.
The lonliness.
Inside the darkness is everything I've ever hid inside.
Inside the darkness is thousands of unmasked lies.
Inside the darkness is tears,
screams,
and blood.
Inside the darkness is a scared little girl,
just wanting to be loved.

Damaged Jul 2013

Sage

Have you ever loved someone so much

*that you forgot to love yourself?

Damaged Jul 2013

Maybe there is hope?

To be completely honest,
I am utterly terrified about the upcoming generation.
Scared that they will destroy this world even more.
No values.
No morals.
No respect.
I mean, look at the generation raising them;
aren't we bad enough?
But today,
I was shown a little glimmer of hope that maybe;
some of them won't be so bad.

Today I heard about what a good friend of mines little brother did, letting a man know he is thankful for him serving this country. I will admit, I don't know any adults that would do that, much less an eight year old. Like I said, maybe there is hope.

Damaged Jul 2013

There's a difference

There's a difference between wanting something and needing something.
You're that difference.
You see, there are a lot of things I want.
I want my parents to be together.
I want them to be civil.
I want my medical problems to go away.
I want more money.
I want to be comfortable in my own skin.
I could go on and on but honestly,
I think I would run out of room to write.
There's a million things in the world I want..
But you,
*I need you

Damaged Jul 2013

Complete venting

I don't know how much more I can take. I spend all my days smiling but all my nights crying. Every day it gets harder and harder to mask the pain the wells inside me. I walk around every day like my life is so great when really, I know that I'm just a huge mistake. People yell at everything I do. Everyone pushes me away or pulls themselves away. Everyone walks away from me. I care so much for others and I just get left out in the dust like a piece of trash. I don't even know if it's worth it to stick around anymore. I mean why should I? It's not like anyone would notice if I was gone anyways. I'm "too nice" appearently. Well guess what? I'm the way I am because I never want people to feel the pain that I'm in. I never want anyone to feel left out or unloved the way I do every single **** day of my life. I never want people to feel like they arn't really wanted or appricated. Whether it be in the classroom, on the court, where ever. Everone has a right to know that they are loved and cared about. I walk around all day and my eyes sting because I'm fighting back tears. Yet no one notices. For once it'd be so nice for someone not believe me when I tell them I'm okay. Sometiems I really want to admit it, but I just can't. I don't want to show that I'm weak. I have so many people I have to be strong for. I feel as if the weight of the world is resting on my shoulders and every day it weighs me down more and more. Every day it becomes more and more of a struggle to even get out of bed. Why should I get up to go walk around in a place where I'm not even wanted or appricated? Why do anything at all anymore? Why can't I just...not?

Damaged Jul 2013

Razors coming out to play

One turns to two.
Then three.
Then four.
Soon theres a tiny puddle of blood pooled up on the floor.
But she still stands up,
cleans the mess and gets dressed.
No one can know how she really feels,
she's depressed.
She'll put on that fake smile,
and joke with you all day.
Though, the second she gets home the smiles fade away.
She reaches for someone only to find cold hard steel.
It's the only thing she has anymore,
leaving reminders of pain that was just to real.

Damaged Jul 2013

I feel absolutly nothing

You think you can shoot me down and **** me,
well go ahead and try.
But you'll find it harder than you think,
*because I'm already dead inside.