Damaged

Damaged Jun 2013

My lounges burn.
My body shakes.
My eyes are
                        F
                            A
                                  L
                                       L
                                            I
                                                N
                                                       G.

**But no longers do my eyes sting from salty tears.
Say goodbye to trembling from neverending nightmares.
Sweet dreams. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

Damaged Jun 2013

Scattered thoughts

Every day.
                      Every hour.
                                             Every minute.
                                                                        Every second.

I hate myself more and more.

                                                                                                     But every time I try to run away,

                                                        I get trapped by the truth;

                                                                                                                                                                     *That
                                                                                                                                                      everyone
                                                                                                                                              else
                                                                                                                                                      hates
                                                                                                                                                                me
                                                                                                                                                                      too.

Damaged Jun 2013

What upsets me the most

is that I have this sinking feeling that won't go away.
A feeling that, that was the last hug.
The last spoken conversation...

*The last goodbye.

And if it was and if I'm right about this sinking feeling I cant seem to shake, I just hope you know that I am forever changed because of you. You have brought me through a lot and looking at you I really see the real meaning of strength. I want you to know that every day I pray that God will always show favor to you and that he'll surround you with twice the guardian angles than you actually need. Because I never want you to hurt anymore. And I never want you to have to hurt again. You, the girl that does so much to make sure everyone else is happy, you deserve to be happy. Truly happy. This is my wish for you. Even if we never talk again, just know that I love you with all my heart and you have been the biggest inspiration in my life and I will never forget you Kay Kay. <3

Damaged Jun 2013

What I'm not

I'm the bounceback.
I'm the second choice.
I'm overlooked.
I don't make people stop and stare.
I don't make people take second looks.
I'm no comfortable in my own skin.
I'm always the awkward third wheel.
I never get asked about when I don't show up at school.
I'm not pretty.
I'm not skinny.
I'm not worth anything.

Damaged Jun 2013

If it would've been you, God only knows what I would do.

My heart stopped for a second.
We got onto highway 49 and traffic was stopped.
There was an accident.
Thoughts raced through my head.
I hope everyone made it.
I hope no one is too terribly hurt.
I hope it wasn't you.
I know you live down this way and the thought of that made me sick.
We slowly got through the traffic and I held my breath.
The closer we got to the scene the harder I prayed it wasn't you.
Finally,
we passed it.
Your car wasn't there and neither were you.
Relief rushed over me and finally,
I could breathe again.

Damaged Jun 2013

Stuck.

I'm caught somewhere between the person I am,
and the person I want to be.
The hard part is,
I don't know where to run.

Damaged Jun 2013

I guess I'll say goodbye tomorrow...

I have this card for you
it's not much;
but I'm hoping it'll mean something.