Too afraid to let her know
Too deep to let it go.

my cousin always gets a new puppy when the last grows up incorrectly:
misbehaving while she's gone,
wrecking home and belongings.

that is how you feel
no, not special or an isolated circumstance
don't bloat yourself on the idea that you are unique to me --
you are every other boy who thinks with his ****
every other boy who seemed playful and innocent
and grew to destroy home and belongings...

this arm belongs to me, this breast
this neck
these thighs
you wreck every one
smiling in your play

i do discard you,
but not before you damage me...
and there is always another
ahead.

when I finally left
you begged me to stay
but all the times you were gone
it was all okay.
it was cool if you partied
till 4 the next night
I was at home crying
but to you it was alright
I remember one year
it was valentines day and I was sick in bed
you could of been there to take care of me
but out cheating on me ..instead.
I wonder if I did that
how that would make you feel
the person you thought loved you
betrays you and thinks its [no big deal]
I think its kind of funny now
that I stayed around that long
did you only push me down
to make yourself feel strong?
I know relationships have problems
I know there will always be
I know you were with her when you should have been with me

I know I love you with all my heart
even though its all in half
I guess ill try to repair one side
the other you can have
I miss you every single day
but I know leaving was the right thing to do
cuz if you really love me
you would of never been untrue

What does forever mean to you?
When you couldn't even keep it true
You said were you'd forever be there
But were those just words pulled from thin air?
Did you actually love me?
Did you really see the feelings I see?
The truth, the love, the loyal tears
The betrayal, hate, and the fear
I thought you felt the same
That you would cover me in the rain
I thought forever and always was forever
But now there's not an us…never
You said you'd always be there for me
But now I truly see
That you never saw the feelings in my soul
Now you've pierced my heart with a hole
But my heart has healed
Now I have friends that are real
And you're gone out of my life
Unable to pierce me with the heartbreaking knives
I thought forever was forever not just a word
But I guess that's not what I heard…

I walked along the bridge
Watching cars zooming past
On the corner of my eye
"Who would care if I died?" I ask
With warm tears, I cried

"You're not pretty enough
Skinny enough
Tall enough either!"
"Just end your life kid
It will benefit us."

If only they knew
What was going through my head.
I looked down at the ocean
From  the narrow ledge

A man got out his car, and ran
He gave me his hand.
'"Don't do it!
Come with me
Everything will be fine...", but
It was too late
I jumped then changed my mind

Life is not all rainbows and butterflies.
Just ask the ones that lie inside,
Lifeless and dull.
Fluttering their wings inside my skull,
Torturing me until I have died.
Life is not all rainbows and butterflies.