What does forever mean to you?
When you couldn't even keep it true
You said were you'd forever be there
But were those just words pulled from thin air?
Did you actually love me?
Did you really see the feelings I see?
The truth, the love, the loyal tears
The betrayal, hate, and the fear
I thought you felt the same
That you would cover me in the rain
I thought forever and always was forever
But now there's not an us…never
You said you'd always be there for me
But now I truly see
That you never saw the feelings in my soul
Now you've pierced my heart with a hole
But my heart has healed
Now I have friends that are real
And you're gone out of my life
Unable to pierce me with the heartbreaking knives
I thought forever was forever not just a word
But I guess that's not what I heard…

Time stops
And stands still
Each day
Seems like a year
I'm lost
And can't be found
In this darkness
I lay dying
Cold
Empty
And alone
It holds me down
And won't let go
There is no escaping
it consumes me
until there's nothing left
I may look fine
But on the inside I'm full of death

It takes a minute to hear your voice.
To place a dream and waking willingly apart.
I turn and search for a rectangle device
That's been left burning all night.
"Wake up baby"
Electric sounds.
I turn and curve at his gravitational sound.
Lift it in my hands to see
My waking love
Waking me.
I should worry about radiation
That's pouring into me.
But he's worth the worry
Just to see.
"Tell me all about your dreams"
Still foggy I comply
And let the poison drip out of me.
He moves from room to room
And he carries me.
While I lay in bed and follow.
"How many eggs? 4 or 6?"
And I make a choice for his nutrients.
5 isn't right cause it's uneven.
46 is way too much.
I choose a moment and smile at him
While he stirs the contents of his cup.
A glance from clocks to me
Debating on wether he should leave.
"Don't be late or stay with me?"
But staying means more radiology.
I fall in step with his morning routine
Without ever moving from my waking scene.
I kiss the screen and he kissed me
Voicing love so lovingly.
Reconnecting every morning.
I'm sure it easy when he's snoring
To let the device burn all till morning.
I fell asleep with his face in my hand
Though, I could not touch and I could not grab.
"I call you when I'm driving back. I'll see you later on tonight. I love you, sweety. Have a good day"
And then we wave and press a red button to start our usual days.
And never moving once,
The pillows I bury my face in go flat.
I dare not fall back to sleep.
Because on my device he might message back.

Smoking kills
But it looks so cool.
Fashion means letting
The tar to pool.
Drinking makes the mind go numb
So who cares if my words
Are slurred and dumb.
Come on
Just a little fun.
Getting high
Make me fly.
Just hit me once and say goodbye.
I can stop whenever I choose.
So give me a lighter and let me lose.
Start off slow
Feel my body rise.
Addictions hold no real surprise.
They think it's hott
When a girl can fry
To a needle or snort or puffing prize.
You don't want to know my mind.
The wonderland
The ****** skies.
The memory of bloodshot eyes.
Just let me out of my skin tonight.
The scars you see are accidental.
Accidentally feeling with sharpened metal.
Drag it down so I don't get mental.
You don't want me sentimental.
I can fight for no good reason.
The blood tends to boil
With the humidity of the season.
Hit me back and get in personal.
I can take the skin covered bone
I'm versatile.
I ran with the gun wielding people.
Earn some respect and still get riddled.
They love a chick with hard forged metal.
As long as I'm not hurting you
I get away with ****** and die a couple times too.
I can stop whenever I choose
So light me up those cancerous fumes
And let me choose.
Come on
Just a little fun
It's not hurting you...

In times of trouble and insanity
I carry masks to disguise
the pain I carry
secure behind my eyes

I can never let out again
the misery I hide
to hell with my dignity
to hell with my pride

from this day forward
and for ever more
I will mount this mask
that will be my lore

No reaching out when I am weak
no solace will I seek

when you look for answers
when you say your prayers
all you will see is masks
and no pain that I bare

Blood dripping from my fingers
Blood dripping onto my feet
Blood slipping through my fingers
From the once live carcass
Laying in front of me
The body, dismembered, battered and bruised
Hair ripped and on the floor next to me
My clothes are bloodstained
Ripped, tattered and torn
The knife on the floor next to me
The blade stained with crimson
Lifeblood which was once the carcasses
Own.
The blood. Pooling at the bottom of the table
And do you want to know the most important thing?
Your next.