25 years married to a man like that
It's no wonder she looks like hell

I'd feel sorry for her
If it weren't for those pesky microaggressions

There's a train comin'
And there's a party on the tracks
There's a faint horn blowin'
And there's no one else that hears

All I can do is watch

I want some strange man to brush up against me
Just deliberately enough
That my heart starts to race
And then he just
***** off

I want the neighbor's
Disgusting husband-
The one with the hacking cough
The one who kept stealing glances at my exposed, chocolaty midriff-
To give my ***** sloppy kisses
In the laundry room
In the middle of the night

I want you to remember
That I'm a person
And I'm lonely
And I'm ~starving~
And it's really okay,
Isn't it?

I want you to know
The whole story
But you couldn't love me
Through the half of it
So that's that.

I want you to run your nails down my back
And then gaslight me
By pretending it didn't happen
As I get on my knees
To clean up the puddle on the floor

I want to ***
With hot human flesh
In every
Single
One of my holes

I want you
So badly
That I
Can't
*******
Stand it

I want to yowl at the night sky
Until someone volunteers to
Shut me up

I want to feel
The lust
Pouring off of you
Drowning me
Before I choke on your ****

I want to stop
Feeling the need
To wear crop tops
In front of my neighbor's
Disgusting husband

I want someone to notice
When I'm not okay
And I want someone
To love me
Enough
To be there
Every night
Like a raft
In a storm

I want to get ****** so hard
That I forget everything
For just a *******
******* second

I want to be used
And reminded
That I'm just a toy
For your amusement

I want you to **** me in the pouring rain
After so many deserts
And so much heat
And so much time

I want
So badly
To be seen
And to be ******
And to be free

I want you to know
That this isn't really about you

I want so many things
I'd make a terrible Buddhist

It would be so easy
And so ~dangerous~

I thought
I'd be done
With the sad ****
By now

I am paint over masking tape
To create sharp lines
That never turned out right

I am fingers pressed to screens
And screens
And screens

I am who not to be

I am who I am
And I know what I want

I am drunk,
But not really anymore
So I'm sober
I guess

I am a girl giggling
As her second real boyfriend
Tried to get her to **** his ****
After getting her high
For the first time

I am a mother
Who cheated
By getting an epidural

I am the worst thing
That's ever happened
To too many people

I am poem
After poem
After poem
About boys who probably
Don't remember my name
And whose names
I don't remember

I am dust in the wind
On a dead end highway
In Oklahoma
Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains

I am all the love
And mania
Of a collection
Of bad decisions

I am the screaming
And wretching you hear
Within the walls of a jail

I am wrong so much more often than I am right

I am the acrid smell of
****
Burning through the walls
Of a not-so-happy home

I am dying of thirst
Where the only source of water
Is thousands of miles
Away

You aren't real anyway