I collect ill-fitting prescriptions
suffering from a hollowed out heart
morse code thoughts drowned in encryption
doctors pull my nervous system apart

they can't find a cure so they try true loves kiss
they package him in an orange pill bottle
bite-sized pieces of pure chemical bliss
I take a handful of shortlived lust and gobble

these synthetic feelings stuff me momentarily
I can't digest them so they absorb me instead
blood boiling until I'm filled with transparency
first I'm empty, then I'm bursting, then I'm dead.

the cold swell of emptiness crashes hard over my naked soul
floating in the middle of a masochistic murky sea
I pray the tide shall sweep my aching body away
I grieve yet the waves laugh as they drown me

don't you remember the way we used to talk
or was it only endless suggestive texting
was it my shy smile when we drank and walked
that made you pretend we were connecting
or did I mistake our time together for a bond
even though we hooked up most everytime we hung
I couldn't question your collection of leggy blondes
because you'd silence my words with your tongue

fixing my problems with dried out glue
don't want to feel this so I'll try something new
a pill, a drink, a meaningless ****
I want to cover myself in glue and forever be stuck

my body, an unfinished puzzle
men pocketing my cherished pieces
chunks of my heart they like to smuggle
maybe they're feeding their demons,
maybe they get off on my struggle

I live with a tumour of paranoia
haunting my social life
flaring up with small annoyance
in a world of violence and strife
my cautiousness turns to avoidance
and my irrational fear is rationalised

broken glass on my salted tongue
spit or swallow you pressured
one scars my heart the other my lungs
self-massacre to keep you pleasured