but it is not your fault.
You are trying your hardest to
(re)capture my attention.

And despite my slight fascination with the
curve
of
your
mouth

I still find my mind wandering through
thoughts of the last person who sat across from me
trying to conjure up a smile,

and how quickly I walked away.

Stuck everywhere are secrets you've heard before.

Sometimes the things i have to say
don't escape past the tips of my teeth
because the rigid parts of me
are afraid to tie knots
that can only be
undone
with a knife.

We;
the generation
that forgot the meaning of memorable,
so keen on trade
as a means to claim
or apply value,
that this,
only this,
is seldom enough.

I used to think that pain was the most motivational thing i could feel,
but as I was bound to be taught,
told in blessings by
teachers
i was trying to
train,
it's either a lesson in love
or a lesson in release.

He was awakened from those lovely fantasies,
But it only held him half alive that night;
A dream of sailing across the seven seas,
Only drowned him in disappointments, he cried.

He tried to separate the moon from the stars,
But he failed only to tell him about this strife.
Mind was vexed by a dream that turned into scars,
Reality wounded him, so he will be asleep again tonight.

If you don't mind,
And you don't take it personally,
Next time we see each other,
Could we just ignore each other.
If it was up to me,
We would still be together,
But the past memories when you brush by,
They take me away,
So if you don't mind,
Don't say "Hey",
Or look at me with those deep blue eyes,
Trying to start a conversation,
About how we keep going on with our lives,
But we both know,
That this separation is painful,
And this speaking isn't making it better,
Time always pulls us back together,
So that's it,
Can we just be strangers again.

I'm not drinking
not tonight
I'm alright
it's really not a fight.
I mean did you invite me
just to spite me?
I only want a sip
put the bottle to my lip
refuel my ego trip
time passes
wine glasses.
Is that my cigarette lit
bathroom
floor
tears
fears
I don't have a problem.

things don’t have
to add up

love does not equal marriage
death does not equal sadness
life does not equal suffering
and pain does equal fear

in life
and all throughout the universe
there are holes in our equations
that we will never be able to fill

know what can known
and know what can’t
and accept that
things don’t have
to add up
and
most times
they won’t

It's been three weeks,
I'm an antidepressant away from being okay with this,
I'm just numbing the pain,
I'm tired of feeling this way,
The worst part is, you just don't understand,
You think I'm being dramatic,
But that didn't keep me from wanting to jump in front of a train,
It's whatever though,
I just want to go,
And you'll never know until I'm gone,
That you actually gave a ****.

Do not curse your demons,
they've more practice there than you,
and the most that it could do
is make you a demon too.