There are too many words to say.
What an idiot
I was for saying;

Nothing.

on the outskirts I watch them mingle
like a wallflower, yet less beautiful
tears welling in my eyes
like the shallow end of the pool to play in, but never to fall into
a fake smile pasted upon my lips  
like drawn with permanent marker
lies like I'm fine or I'm okay
repeated time and time again
day to day
and memories like scars refuse to fade

When i'm sad i pick off my nail polish.
We haven't kissed in 2 weeks,
14 days,
14 different coats of nail polish

She was a closed book
A book that never opened up
Never let anyone read her
Kept her secrets hidden beneath the cover
Between the pages
In the spaces of the words that formed sentences
Sentences that described how truly damaged she was
How gentle and fragile

You took the book in the palm of your hands
You swung open the cover and read the pages
You didn't read it all
You must have missed the part where it stated you needed to handle with care
You must of skipped that page
Or skimmed over those lines
Unless you read it but didn't care
Because you started ripping out pages
They tore and crumbled as they hit the pavement floor
You threw the book down and walked away
A page was left inside
It said once you open this book you must stay.
you must have missed that part right?
Right?

You knew I never cried,
That I had to be really upset,
That if I did only the 4 walls of my bedroom would know.
You knew I never cried over a boy,
That I would never let anyone close enough to hurt me.
You said you wanted to be the shoulder I cried on if I had to,
We both laughed because I don't cry over boys.
*But I cried over you

This
is
a visualization
exercise-- Take a
breath and close your eyes.