I am reaping
maybe harvesting
who knows
but it's bitter
to think I won't sow anymore!
that I won't reap anymore -

There is joy everywhere
if you forget
The magic of the process
the magic to become
if you know how
there's always seeds to sow
don't **** the seeds,
baby, stay alive
Do what it takes
to keep the flame bright
everything will be
fine!

New ******* the rise
it's the same old but without the bind
Today things went my way: I did not break
I could handle the whole, and the whole was okay.
I smiled the whole day.

I am a woman fracturing her shell
this is something no one did expect
at some point, not even myself
But here I am
Wave goodbye the tears. I've been through this.
The gate opens. I want to take the lead.
It's coming closer, I just can't turn and leave
I won't turn and leave.

You said to me:
The better version of you does not cry every night.
I say: I am deep, I am strong, I am fine! I can!
The better version of you looks into the Sun
and does not go blind! The mist does not blur your eyes!
It's not beauty and it's not true or any good
to dwell on the grim parts, to hold on languidly,
rabidly
to gloom

What's the secret, you'll say?
No secret, shh, it's as easy as it gets
but it can't be spoken, it gets lost
Shh! Tell no one.

Tell me what went wrong last night
All my pain resurfaces and I can't hide
A billow of trouble surging from my insides

It began slowly, last day
With the feeling again
you would not pay attention to what I said

It got bigger, later on
when I met my dear but troubling friends
it all went slowly more wrong

It got more and more swollen, everytime
Their lives are so much better than mine
They don't know the joy, they don't know the fight
I watch the place I inhabit and I swear
it's ******* bleak! Everything uncertain,
everything unclear
Their eyes wound me, seeing myself through these
I can't tell you about the things I've outlived
the things I've seen, and yet to see!
because:
This is my life
a journey, a struggle
ecstasy,
vital fluid
pills and thrills,
mad smiles
do you wanna ride?

And I hear a command:
To myself I have to stay true
Assert myself despite you
I am worthy, I am good!

Came home crying, feeling so torn
everything in me felt dead and gone
I saw the Sun hide last night
But next morning, it was right back.

Why can't I just buy the idea
that you love me back?
Why so much hassle for that magnificent fact?
Always seeing some tiny speck
of dirt in the picture
always something spoiling the fun
Why can't I surrender
for once and forever?
I love you - why always a hint of a shade?
You love me - why so unable to accept?

You make me feel whole - nothing left to add,
nothing left to say

A smile
she shows her teeth shy
Now I do bite
Now I feel, now I am alive!

All I can say is: okay, it's okay,
I have nothing else to say
but this fullness of existence
And somehow, I am not in the least afraid
sometimes, I can't even feel the pain
the world is sure an ugly place
but look at the Sun
look at the sky, look at the plants,
take a hard look! look at people's faces
a world like this, can't be doomed to exist
the world is sure a disgusting place
but I can't really see it today
I'm too mesmerized
by the music playing everywhere
everything holds wholeness
everything is complete
I am, at least
and I am the Universe
today I feel at ease
it's so easy filling a modern girl, I guess
just give her love, give her art, give her ***

I feel satisfied
nothing could get me as high
this peace, this certainty
everything's gonna turn alright...
everything already is fine...

Your jacket
Is so big and warm
It makes me so bold
So calm

Your jacket – my jacket now!
I carry it everywhere I go
A little piece of home

It makes me feel queen
not because it's yours
or mine, but
because we made it

It fits me so well
In a weird, uncommon way
It makes them stare
It makes me bloom instead

Some people frown on my jacket
Because it’s too much for them
I have to look other way,
Never get caught in their jails!

My friends agree: we can’t understand
Fully all of this
But we do see your glee
How you beam when he appears
In your phone screen

And this jacket is somehow my life
Because it makes me feel so nice!
I got used to its comfy touch
Now I can’t just live without!

I pull it out the closet
The power overflows.
It’s a tiny token
That brings me back
To our love

There are tears breeding from your glee
A rejoicing so big it will get you ripped
and take you away, funnily, from that same fit
Bitterness as a note in your lollipop
Joy overload: you burst you blow.

There is a dark shade stemming from your best days
So much love, and hope, it will explode
There is fear it might be lost!
So much happiness, it overflows, it outgrows
and does a crazy turn