She's a little *****
with a big deep hole in her chest
to fill
to feel
more broken every day that exists

People like to watch her fall
It makes nice art but it can corrode
She's corroding in her own hell
Sometimes, she corrodes in love
hard to distinguish both

She destroys because she's destroyed
She aches and this is all she spreads
This unflattering vision of me - can I take?
And the men that pass through her hands
are the sign she's anything but right

Coming back home - but where's home?
Home is such a scam, but I am
So dramatically lost
Love is such an elusive charm
She murders love - but collateral harm

But this won't take much longer
I've got a hand in my pocket...
give me some time to standby
while working full throttle, full drive
take some distance
the pain is going to make me blackout

Take the little ***** to London
put her in the plane with her friends
take the little ***** somewhere else
she needs an ear - a kind of help
a get away

What does my heart say?
It yearns your kiss but I just can't cheat
What does my mind say?
Leave at once - try to stay

He is the devil - he is an angel
He turns me on - he drags me down
to darker paths and darker deeds
If he was you -if you were him
all my problems would be done
Why don't you get gone?
Out of my *******, away from my thoughts

I can't be your lover - not that way!
You turn grubbier by the minute
If you were him, if he was you
I would not be here languishing
I'm in tatters with it everything!

I am undergoing some kind of process
some kind of new-old current
Do I have to grab someone's hand to jump
What is the answer to this ripping out my guts?

I woke up one day
(it wasn't just one day but many of them)
And I looked in the mirror
and it wasn't me!
I could not recognize a thing...
best feeling in years

I could not match
what I am with who I was
I've been rewired from scratch
A new-old me shines
I've been altered - I hope it's for life

Who I was meant to be
away from all that I used to be
phobia, fear
breaking down, scream

And who am I to blame
for this dramatic change?
Was it pills, was it me, was it fate?

It wasn't the girl that I had been
the feelings and actions I had seen
all that I had came to be...
drifting away to darker roads
I have been reborn
maybe I have to thank God

The pink around me swallowed me whole
Everything was pink! Coloring my bones
Everything was in order - but all of my own
The water started boiling - after years in full stop
Maybe a lifetime, I could not tell - it was so long

And now I cry - and now I shake
and now I ache - but I am not the same
I am the wooden girl, the alien
made human -saved- by whose hand?
Her own spell

There is a gap in between
is it you, or is it me?
Where does this lead
It hurts to see it die like this

Are we troubled and should we heal
in each other's hands (neck kiss)
or shall we give in
to what's below our feet
in my case, being swallowed by his lips
giving in to life's curse, setting us free?

I am not the most experienced woman in the world...
but I can feel something might go wrong
so slow, it feels good
so slow, that we might crash soon

We could be everything
and I really want to believe
but many nights under the covers
it is him, it is him, it is him

We love each other
we build a dream
what would we be
were we not you and me

And you are water
but he is fire!
And you put out the blaze
until the next time

And they say leave one of them
do not play games
I am not playing any games
I am trying to get it straight
but I get lost, in the way

I don't see **** clear
but the Thames will surely speak to me
Omens will appear
in the form of clarity

Oh, sapphic ghost
I am there with you
I never thought you'd be back
10 years after all that
Shapeshifter, but I know your act

You're not my friend
I am not one of you girls
Pretty girls with the short hair
and kisses below the waist
but I gravitate
to the grey line where you play

Am I losing depth
Am I losing myself
I found myself in a black pit
had to get out anyway

I have been mistaking
things all along
but isn't making mistakes
what this life is for?

Carried to the easy
carried to the grave
it's an oasis
where slowly creeps in death

But you can't fix it with a thought
Only energy will fill that hole
You like girls - what's wrong?
What's wrong - I miss a man's touch

I know the secrets to the universe - one day at a time

**** love! ****** that prudish *****
But you can't **** love
because it is the core
You need to restrain it
so it can flow

****** love!
Banish that ugly word
You need time to explore
And you don't need Valentines
or flowers or candy hearts
unless they melt to a hot touch
But the beasts howl at the other side...
...The beasts of misled lust and endless rides
(no, you misled goody two shoes, again, you lied!)
No such thing as too long a ride!
Just a hooking one, a toxic kind
One that binds you, and gives you nothing back

The beasts of too many things inside
The beasts always outnumber the nice
But the nice shines brighter than all that

So, **** love
let it fly free
such was its design
such beauty it is

And love says,
"you can't ****** me"
you feel it in your hands
you can't just slay this
**** the creation, **** the crippling monster
that maims and kills!
but not the thirst
You had to **** love first
so it could spring
And every now and then
the twisting begins...
be aware! be sharp! be quick!
Let love live! You know what it means

Do I have to die again
or will I simply regenerate -
shed my skin day by day
till a new me does emerge
and feed forevers for myself

The world you created
isn't the real world
there is a bridge between them
but it's not the whole

I have these realizations now
I am under the effect of blurry stars
And tomorrow us...
I will rise
I've been rising all along
The truth always wins
Time to wake up
Please not that suddenly -