i imagine you
cozy, by a fireplace,
with a kitten in your lap
and a nice sweater
with your glasses
and the dimple in your cheek
i imagine you're reading
something
and it makes you smile
and it makes you think
i imagine every now and then
you have a nagging sensation
in the back of your mind
just like i have
and it reminds you
that you should be with me
but i imagine
that you brush it off,
pick the cat hairs off your sweater
adjust your glasses
back to the bridge of your nose
and you continue your book
and leave me behind
all over again

If there is a meaning,
I don't want to know.
Life, a fragment, gleaming,
Reduced to a coal.
And all the hours I wasted
Combing through your words,
Looking for a sign
That it could be more,
All of it was pointless.
If I cannot have you here,
I don't want any of it
And i don't have the fear
That keeps sane people
From jumping over bridge
That keeps the wolves
Caged, and sedated.

i have not felt at peace
in such a long time
i am constantly searching,
constantly longing
for some proverbial sign
for the sky to fall
a bit closer to the earth
for the trees
to turn indigo
for the waters
to rise into the sky
and swallow me whole.

the weight of the days,
weeks, months, years,
crush me
and all i can see
is the tiresome monotony
sound, speak, repeat
click clack of the keyboard
strum of guitar
whir of the milk i steam
metal pitcher, pull the shot
latte's made
and studying
biology, trigonometry, literature
then off to the real world
a piece of paper, i qualify
to live my life
work forty hours a week
just like before
but a desk,
papers, a phone number,
and pens with my name engraved...
i feel each of these days to come
and i don't want
any of them.

there is nothing like unrequited love,
a love that is given
and not expected
to be returned,
a love that will likely never
be reciprocated,
but love nonetheless
and it rages inside,
like a beautiful demon
trying to escape
like your drunken dancing feet
maddeningly twirling on the concrete
as i watch and am mesmerized
as i fall oh so terribly.
there is nothing like unrequited love
and i am forever its prisoner.

Staring into the white-blue sky,
Up at a skeleton tree
Who shed its red, yellow, gold leaves
And shook its branches at me.
"Go home, my love, it's bitterly cold."
Light words mixed in the wind.
But home isn't home without a heart
And it's broken with no chance of a mend.
Writing down my mellow, calm thoughts
And singing about the rain.
Icy and hard spitting at me,
Causing discomfort and pain.
Night falls soon in the wintertime,
Telling me summer's long gone.
But I refuse to accept that fact,
Since he still won't answer his phone.
The tree and I, we sit side by side
Beside this near frozen lake.
Awaiting a natural disaster of sorts,
A tornado, or an earthquake
To rip us from our sturdy roots
And cast us into the sky
Where we can face our most horrid fears,
And from here we can fly.

Thunder and lightning and glass on the beach
I covered my ears with lace, put shoes on my feet
I walked out into the ocean with my heart in my hand
And cried for a tornado to scoop up the sand

I buried my locket in an old leather case
Hoping that time and water could erase
All of the engraving you chiseled through my veins
And that you can feel the lightening each time it rains

But no one would fear me, no hermit or fish
Came out of hiding to hear my soft wish
So I drowned my sorrows in a green bottle of sin
And cursed out the devil as he laughed at his win.

Almost vividly, could I see your face
Almost surely, did you begin to escape.

With salt and seashells, I lathered my veil
That I found in the tummy of a large ocean whale
Who ate out my innards and spit me back on the ground
So I could be rescued, if I ever was found.

But no help came the night that I died
So I finally threw out the pain and from here, I flied.