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 Jun 18 Coleen Mzarriz
Pri
I bite.
Not with teeth.
with silence,
with sharp glances,
with walls built higher than your reach.

I’m not cruel.
I’m just tired
of being kind first
and torn apart second.

You call it attitude.
I call it armor.
Because being soft
never saved me.
It only made the fall hurt more.

So I speak less now.
Agree less.
Trust less.
I pull away before someone has the chance
to walk out first.

It’s not that I don’t want love.
I’ve learned that even “I care about you”
can come with conditions.
Even soft hands
can leave bruises
you can’t see.

I bite
because once,
I didn’t.
And it nearly broke me.
(inspired by Isle of Dogs)
 Jun 18 Coleen Mzarriz
Zahra
Your absence hit
like a stem,
fresh-cut—
sap still weeping,
leaves still turning
toward a blue,
fictioned sun.
In Dublin in December I sat
on a shore bench in Sandymount

& watched thunderheads strut
on stork legs of raking rain while

bullish boats trundled through
with taut cheeks sobbed with rime.

My heart was full of weeks of doubt,
I'd flown in on a night plane

aching with the knowing
that something was badly turned,

distance could no longer be borne,
all the miles within and without.

We drank, coupled, and confessed
through long, long nights as outside

the high open window the stars
sloughed their waffling shine into

the many arms of the river, and gulls
eavesdropped on desperate sins.

By day she showed me her city
of castles and secret gardens,

elephant bones and electric trees,
& quietly urged me to join her.

As we crossed Beckett bridge
to seek troubled love on her couch

we pierced a cold and hanging fog,
prehaunted by the loss that followed.
Although this happened six years ago now, it feels like it happened to a different person in another lifetime. But the person mentioned contacted me again recently out of the blue and so I thought I might write about whatever feelings were dredged up.

I don't know that it says anything I haven't said before about what occurred. I might revise it at some point, maybe.
I’m barely a poet,
yet you’re still my muse.
I say it doesn’t hurt-
that my purpose is views.
Steps I take forward
toward moving along
make you more distant,
and that feels ******* wrong.

I know that you know and
it could never be the same.
I just have to figure out
how to remove ache from your name.
The letters, they hurt
when they sit side by side-
and to hear them out loud?
A blast to my mind.

Because I like to spiral,
to wonder and dream.
I erased our messages-
yet here you come on my screen.
You can’t give me an inch-
I will dream a whole mile.
I’ve been that way always,
since I was a child:
hoping and loving
and dreaming for better.
I hate accepting reality-
and this ****** weather.

I can romanticize rain
and thunder and storms,
pretend they can heal me,
make me accept new norms.
But I miss my lover,
so quiet, so sweet,
and leaving that love
drowning feels like defeat.
But it's not romantic, just fated design
And it's just a Wednesday spent acting perfectly fine
when you poem me,
and the sudden tumble
into a mesmerizing moment,
is a felling of a tree, that
everyone can hear, anywhere,
forest everywhere,
suddenly, I will know you,
no introduction required...
to be with you, and save my
day, my heart stolen, and to my
captor, I hereby surrender,
capitulate completely, quick quiet,
and we are three thrilled together, a triumphant triumvirate,
for each other and a unity of
1 + 1= 3

is a new counting,
a unique
formulation
a formidable forming

a mutual following,

a fellowship

nml
Weds.
June 18 3025
In the sunroom
Please be my inner most self.
The heart beating away in a
hollow book exposed by a shelf.

Please let it sing to me if I am down.
Make me feel sunshine in Gods
most righteous frown.
Sensitive thoughts of joy and sadness
will never make me drown.

God made you to never leave
me in the end.
In empty pages I have
found a true friend.

The words I never say have
found a perfect place.
Its like the comfort of
a veil hiding my face.

My father prays for this
unspoken request.
The answers to life have
become my greatest test.
Some thoughts are to be
buried in the deepest chest.

God listens to my mixed
love and hate.
Yet he refuse's to give up
on making them separate.
My tears flowing over years
of blooming to late.
God had a reason for
planning it all before it
became fate.

I need the rain and sunshine
to make my life grow.
Yet the rain must not
wash me into the dark funnel.
The sunshine of Gods
sacrificing love will remain infinite.
Years passing so fast like
leaves off a tree to tear me up
or to make me fly like a kite.

You will get to know the stranger inside.
The one so hurt it decided to hide.
Later I will find out if the pencil
is an enemy or a best friend.
former accounts name is girlrinth

Oh this is a really old poem of mine. Maybe from 2014. I’m not sure.
Somewhere in the evergreens,
Smoke stacks rise above the trees,
Peaking amongst the clouds,
As light rain sprinkles the grounds.
We lay softly asleep,
Far off from the wooded cove,
My arms around your resting form,
Breathing lightly,
To ensure you sleep well.
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