from the womb
the love you exude
similar to seeking
warmth from the moon

split lip
chapped like cracked pavement
seeped blood over statements
like a pact. in fact, the same cave
in which we saved the game
a new chapter
the last page stained

splintered bone marrow
broken, brittle and for a minute
felt something akin to happiness
maybe pain’s what’s been missing
kissing curbs with flintstone lipstick

Our love
is the dry sighs at dry jokes
at a high five at five in the morning
lacing dreams and subconscious snoring
no more exploring the subtle scores
if i’m boring, you’re boring
found a little soft sound brown couch cushion.

i have yet to decide
my favorite vice
they all taste like the same spices

warm red seeping through my eyelids
while blue skies wed the cloud’s soft white beds
a sleepy breeze whispering behind the shed
lifting the frozen winters head to force him
to peak and see the tread marks of summer
searing their words into subtle spring smells
the new season thaws the thoughts
that felt like frozen hell.

it’s the discomfort
in the comfort drenched in sweat
i find so relaxing

hey
man
relax
he said

the
cops
are on their way

pay
the
fine
i try to comply

but end up in the newspaper instead

dust sprinkled donuts
i remember you from high school
she whispered behind a curtain
made of lace and laced with liquorice
wicked little sentiments
i dropped the keys like a mile back

i believed in seeing candles
i paused to hear your breathing
flames that faint and flicker that way
don’t have the heart to burn through ceilings

distance, lost among the pages
two different people
two different places
left behind, dog eared fragments
sometimes i think it’s ok
to judge a street by its pavement

a foreign feeling
a stranger lurking
myself in my own skin
my own evil smirking

i felt my legs cemented
in denim, drenched in sweat
vaulting fences in defense
of getting sentenced.

privileged to lay against a bed
when all is said and done
we lay with white linen
reminiscing on the battles won
while darker skinneded children
live in fear for things they haven’t done
privilege.

i sneezed and my eyes watered
and it felt good because it was the closest i could get to crying despite the demons hiding and flying and the dark clouds colliding
thunderstorms with no chance of precipitation
i want to cry but can’t for the life of me
the faster i run the thinner the air becomes
it’s so hard to breathe and everyday i feel less like myself, a shell and everything i hate is the pearl inside being pressed and designed with hopes that one day it’ll be worth something
i’m jealous of the night sky because even in its darkness, even behind its clouds there’s still stars that shine

tingling toes tell the tales of my woes
so self aware with my laser set to stun
i’ve always known, it’s just the way it goes
under the gun and staring into the sun
i thought i won but i’m the first one drunk
on spider webs weaved and spun
my mind as stagnate as the wind around the sun
my thoughts have begun to run on my *****
hunched over failure or lack there of
with nothing left inside my lungs

suffocating
love’s faded
waited days and days
placated misplaced rage
displaced into this place
ran out of disk space
to save the memories

like pencil lead on scratch paper
scratched that but a tad later i
stenciled dad or divine savior
pancreatic cancer for hard labor
****** barracks room and beatsaber
keep safe in states
united to sleep with cheap skates
carolina reaper states the heat flavor
all my dreams on a piece of paper
scratch paper..

all this time
and all i got

it’s all i am
not what you thought
but what you bought
not what you sought
distraught.

i was meant to be something else entirely
but i forgot.

boxer briefs



not boxers
not briefs
barely reached
the space for *****
call of duty
winnie pooh
oversized stained gray tee
shirt from an old team
maybe even summer league
half pint
ice cream
ben
and
jerry
and an entire bottle of irish whiskey

would it be sincere
this endearing
persevering
list of words
when no ones hearing

catching breath
just beneath the crest
of a sweater vest
better words i’ve said
are always left unsaid

they will only bring you pain
they will only leave me sane
they are always left to rest
unsaid and feelings still remain

talking to a wall
because the windows would be appalled

my only solid words
sketched off stencils
when my speech is slurred
whiskey wicked wisdom
stupidly obscured
my favored company’s absurd
lips like lemonade and pure

beyond the safe i thought i made
i found a place to ******* die

blown beyond
but not between
believe in our best

She’ll never know
The soreness on knuckles
The bite marks on fingers
Anger dispersed upon two by fours
Through veins she’s never felt the pulse of

But she is so beautiful
The stabbing of deeper grey shades
The moon she’s so proud of
The girl I’m so proud of

She’s never been more gorgeous
To me, than seven months
And scribbling on canvas

I beat the **** out of door frames
I bit the hell out of my own hands
I loved the soul out of a woman
And wasn’t even the man I wanted

with every wisp and tail
flickering and disappointing
littering the air with kissed feelings
my sleepy eyes succumb
to shade and lack there of
the flinting glimpses of whisks
my bones are numb

spines quiver
in the bed
pleasure delivered
giving head

ice against a lad’s legs
last mistake a crass shake
knees buckle and you’re *** quakes

you feel an empty heart
beating in the street
and thinks it’s me
reflecting specters
in your speech
if lacerations couldn’t speak
then maybe we
could wake these shaking bones
in our sleep

my toes crawl til the ***** of my feet ache
in all the tales told of hero’s and their hearts break
seconds hand just a second off making heat take
it’s place and release a cold crease now a plea ‘s made
for satan to wait a minute before he rakes
the lives of ones we love and all seems break

fiberglass on lips
ice cube on your ****
liquor in the moment
just remember to forget

i saw the fireworks
and i felt the lightening from it
everything around it so quiet

i am the firework
and i bleed lightening
everything around me so frightening

words are like the squiggle in your eye
just out of reach and then they wiggle
then they die

you drink champagne from a wine flute
but only on occasion
maybe socially, it makes you someone
people want to talk to
i drink beer
alone
at home
watching you

i’ve tried to list
the simple things
to make a list
their uniforms are sick
discarded lipstick
minus six inside of splints
for weak wrists
must be seeking ****
the G split with lighting
strict rules I drooled
on every pillow
zip lipped keeping secrets
this is
butterfly kisses

i’m scared of the future
****** stares through sutures
pirates who don’t understand who you were
Before the scooters with less wheels
Soon we’re dying to try and live
Slippery thighs with lies within
Skinny kids slithering in to the house slytherin
My kids will begin to wither when
Their eyes see the skin their in
You’re working for a scholarship
sent. fist through mirror.

something spanish stutters on our most sentimental silence
A road ribbed on both sides with violence
Finds its place inside its high tide and watching suns set
Like guns sent where nuns went
The feet in shoes on boards on wheels
The street in blues encore on orange peels

I know there’s a problem
This is not who I want be

Diaphragm stretched
Still nothing I could say
Enraged, I threw the bottom shelves out
To make the hiccups go away

Well, I know
I thought about cold toes on linoleum
Insincere notes on a podium
Loving them after you scolded them
Sent to bed but still on wooden steps
Telling stories of policies left unsaid
The qualities of bread

Make me choke on those words
All I thought of was a mask
Despite the fact that
Even the wind was at my back

You thought that I forgot
Since the day I walked away
In the cold incessant autumn
Nothing left to pull my brain
     In the right direction
     If you miss it you’re not paying attention

live in it
with it
inside it

JESUS
not even her
perfect earth
dying alone
the lazy ozone
smoking
and blowing O's
**** it i'm done

will you build a tower in my name
will every step to the top sing to you
will every broken window pane
invite chills down your spine
will you feel the rotten wooden handrail
and brush the cobwebs from the corners
will you see the stars when you arrive
will your eyes meet the ground
will you build a tower in my name