She kept a list of her lovers
in her desk drawer
the one that locked.
The one that held her secrets.

The list totaled seventeen.
Not bad she rationalised.
For a forty year old woman
divorced for three years.

she had watched tv dramas
women in her position
had barhopped to fifty lovers
in a year.
but not her.

They ranged from
lovers she needed
lovers she wanted
to lovers who
could not pass from
one night to the other.

But the new neighbor
was different.
he had a daughter
twelve or so.
She had dropped a bag
of groceries the
eggs splatterered
he held her close
saying shushhh honey
its ok.
kissing her hair
Keeping her safe
and comforted.

Her ex never did that.
An hour later he appeared
with two more
bags of grocery.

That night She felt him watching
her slip into her pool.
She felt his eyes on her.
He appeared with
a bottle of wine.
Can I join you he asked?
As he took his clothes off
and sat in the pool.
Only if you dont take this
the wrong way she smiled.

He slipped naked
in the blue water.
He looked fit and tanned.
As he slipped out of the water
he looked into her eyes
and said you have
beautiful breast.

Blushing she closed her robe.
Do you get lonely he asked.?
Yes sometimes.
I do too he whispered.
Are you lonely now
Yes she said.

three years later

They laughed as
their little baby girl
joined the other children
in the pool.

Swimming for the first time
her new baby laughed.
She looked at him holding
the child so safe,
He was so safe so warm.
So much what she needed.

He reached for her hand.
she felt his solid grip.
I love you my sweetheart
he said.
she smiled
and said back
not as much as I love you honey.

As he picked up their litte girl
she joined in
I love you too
daddy she whispered.

As a tear of joy
flowed softly
down her face.

Whatever we go through can make us stronger here.
I believe that we all have our own pain to deal with.
Some more painful then others none the less we all hurt.
For this is a fallen mess up world only getting worst.
So there is only Hope in the world to come after death.
To see whom you going to rely on, God or self here.
This life is a test to see if you choose God or self here.
You all have your sorrow but my prayers is for commitment.
For you to become commented to our Holy God here.
I am and shall keep you all in prayer my friends.

I moved to this town
fifty-four years ago
to live in a house that
was a two and a half
bedroom half a double
with two parents and
six siblings in a
welter of tumultuous
chaos and disarray.

Being the oldest, I
hated the confused
congestion and constant
bickering and fled
at every opportunity
to the houses of
friends who had their
own rooms, enough to eat,
and even peace and quiet.

At seventeen, having
graduated from high school
(barely), I was out
the door in a heartbeat
and on to hippiedom,
Europe, the middle east
the draft, drugs, Vietnam,
marriage and my own life.

Now, forty-seven years
later, I live in a small
apartment in the other half
of that same double house
with only a cat.

My parents are departed.
Strangers own their half.

It is quiet and serene
and all mine.
                      Forty-seven
years of running to end up
a foot from where I began.

Even Odysseus couldn't
compete with that feat.

I enjoy living here now.

It is everything it
wasn't when I was a kid.

Still, the irony would
be apparent to an idiot.

Forty-seven years of
running in a circle.
Life, not so much a
journey as eternal return.

  ~mce

Whatever you do here on earth Live for others in Love.
Live Life for others, Live life loving those in your life.
Because everyone that is in your life means something.
To Christ as well as yourself, for God put them there.
For you and them both to learn something from each other.
So Love them unconditional like there is no tomorrow.
For you and them both are very important to God.
For you never know just how Christ shall use you here.
So never give up on others just let them know that God loves them.

Trust  someone  more than you
Love someone forgetting you
Faith someone  more than you
Admire someone like a brightest star
Follow someone more than you
Honor someone more than you
Commit someone if you fulfill it
Destroy someone  who is criminal minded
Fight someone who does un justice with you

Take me where you are
That's all I ask of you
Take me to your heart
Because I love you so

Take me where you lie
There on your soft bed
I always want your arms
Warm pillows for my head

Take me where you are
Take me, I am yours
I only want to be with you
To be beside you through the years