The sun pursues my agony,
Chained beside the cocoa tree,
If I could fly
I'd chase that eye,
To see how high it rests.

Beneath their glaring steel,
My masters laugh in shallow breaths.
Sans distress,
They grow weak,
Always weary,
Their children cannot stop losing blood.

I imagine what it's like on the other side.
Their taunts supply my mind with amazing dreams.
Ambitions grand and humble ripen.
One chain is all that keeps the world from me.

My life rockets!
A howling promise!
I am glad of my work.
It is this certainty I cannot stand.

restlessness
combating with my head
fighting for sleep
but losing the battle
a struggle of wits
a fight of strengths
keeping me awake
with flip flopping thoughts
bouncing off my mind
broadcasting a fireworks display
inside my skull
sweet slumber
i call to you
come rescue me
from this circus that's keeping me awake
feed me your elixir
and bring me into a sweet delusional state

~~~


life should be simple...

... but that doesn't
make it any EASIER


soulsurvivor

It was too much,
life was too much.
So I made a shell,
I locked myself in.
It was safe,
warm,
secure.
But being alone in that shell so long, made the lock become distorted.
Now it won't unlock,
and I can't let anyone in.
It's a nice shell,
but sometimes,
just sometimes,
it gets lonely.  
I guess I'm just waiting for someone to break the lock,
I want someone to set me free in the world.
Though I may get scared leaving my shell,
someone will help me understand this scary, ******* up world.
And someday I can do more than survive it.
I will live in it.

I still have bad days,
Time to time they happen
They are nowhere near how bad they used to be.
I learned how to deal with my own shittyness
In a manner, in which, I am more positive.
Everything happens for a reason,
And I know that now.
I got over it,
And I am a better person for it.
I told you that if you met me 2 years ago
I would have been a different person.
I was… in a shell.
I had no idea how to get out of it and I guess in a way…
Losing someone made me see the world differently.
I still see the bad in everything.
I still see the world as half empty,
No matter how hard I tried to get out of that.
People deal with these things differently.
You became positive inside and out, I became bitter.
I think that it’s better we are just friends.
I don’t think that you should go looking for love.
You just stumble upon it and I didn’t stumble upon you.
I went looking and it’s time for me to be alone.
Voluntarily, and not what I was doing before.
I need to wait.
I learned how to be brave from being your friend,
And you made me better for it.
I hope things work out for me,
Because it seems things are looking up for me?
It just seems every year keeps getting better,
So I need to change my mindset.
I keep going straight to the negatives.
Being bitter won’t make me happy.
Growing a pair and moving on with my life,
Well, that will make me happy.
Stop being this sad little girl who was depressed and get a grip of yourself.
You are strong.
You are brave.
Start acting like it because complaining won’t do **** for you
And I need you to be confident.
You need to be confident that you will make it.
That you won’t give up.
Yes, everyone hits a point where they don’t see the light,
But please just look up and you’ll see it staring you in the face screaming notice me.
What’s the point in sitting there feeling sorry for things you put yourself though
When you should just start to see the good in life