Dragging my knuckles* on the sidewalk
      I find myself hoping for a *spark
     that would confirm my mechanical makeup
        Titanium and servos buried mere inches beneath faux flesh
        Scraping concrete

         *Friction, it would seem,
           is the only force powerful enough to reveal me to myself

I love not gently,
subtle my heart is not.
Aggressive
Unwielding
a force,
but not a storm.
[it does not pass]
Spring, declining to wither,
as winter settles in our bones.
Vintage in nature,
but too fragile to be traded
between hearts & possibility.

Open up your heart
That'll be hard
Because it's something I've never been able to do
My heart is locked inside a vault
And hidden behind a secret passage way
And I don't think anyone deserves to get through
Maybe once upon a time
I tried opening up to you
But that ending was far from happy
And I stopped believing in fairytales
Mostly because of my dad
Let's just say my bladder was weak
And most nights I stained my sheets
So he hit
Until the color of my skin switched
From light brown to dark purple
And now he's not even around
And he wonders why from his kids no love can be found
Sorry pops
If my floor was ***** and covered in goo
And you were I mop
I still wouldn't need you

So you want me to open up huh
You sure?
Inside you'll find something dark
If you go looking for a heart
Maybe that's why I can't write anything  happy
I start and immediately think it's ******
Delete rewrite
Over and over
Up all night trying to get it right
But it's never good
And when I think about why
It's because when you left
You took the better part of me with you
The part the felt
And blushed
Even when It just had a crush
In a rush
It quickly turned to love
And I felt above it all
Because even though things were bad
I still had you
Until you left
Now what am I suppose to do
I wish I knew
I've tried over again
But it still seems like no one can ever replace you
I'm realizing I can't open up
Because it's not you

Try it for a day...
people thinking
your white...
got it easy they say..

Fit in my shoes
where your words
never questioned...

But cos the shade or
lack of pigmentation.
I'm the one watching
wording even thought
you say its ok...

When I walk outside,
I'm like you human..
but you just see
WHITE.. PRIVILEGE...

What is that anyway..
I grew up poor like others
on my street where was
my privilege?
When four brothers had
just rice to eat...

Privilege is who ever
is up there
which ever pigment is
dominant becomes
the privileged one there...

Try being me for a moment
see through my eyes.
I'm not privileged
working my **** off
to where I am today...

It would be a
                privilege
if we all walked in
others shoes
to see the grass isn't
always greener
on the other side of the fence..

What's that I hear you say..
privileged.. be me for a day..

I don't finish
Drawings
I'm too afraid
To mess up
The things I love

It's hard for me to speak,
my heart is racing
and my stomach has
decided to disagree with me.
Then the tears fall endlessly.
I don't want to do anything.

I wasn’t there
but I can recall
all of those
wonderful tunes,
sharp melodies of pain,
songs that ranged
from fruits that would hang
beautiful and strange
to “A Change is Gonna Come.”

Now we back that *** up
and we gotta go get some,
No more “Seasons in the Sun,”
no more “Peace Train.”
For the people who get ready
we got cheap celebrities
like the Kardashians.

I can’t find the bards
Or lyrical philosophers.
Where are the strangers
holding each other’s hands
and singing we shall overcome?
No more street pounding struggling
to make people see the inhumanity
because the music paints
separate realities for everyone
who want to get theirs,
like life is a zero-sum gain
were for someone to win
someone else has to lose the game.