3:30- Laying on my bed ****** as **** thinking about your hands (i can't breathe properly)  Delivered
3:40- One day you'll stop answering the phone when I call and I'll never hear you call me baby love again (i hurt in places i can't touch)  Delivered
3:50- I say I love you even when you're not listening and I've learned to be okay with that (can't stop shaking)  Delivered  
4:00- I want out of this place I want to be where you are (save me)  Delivered  
4:10- And if you ever start to hate me, which you should, remember that I hate me more but never as much as I love you (I will always love you)  Delivered  
4:20- I apologize in advance if one day I'm drowning in ***** and spilling my tears into your voicemail (please pick up)  Delivered  
4:30- Suffocation in the form of thinking about someone else touching you (i can't ******* do this)  Delivered
4:40- I like to think that you can't live without me too, I'm always here when you decide to come back (stay)  Delivered
4:50- I'm talking out loud like you're still here but this sadness is weighing down my chest (and you're not here)  Delivered
5:00- Find me drunk at 2 am counting the stars and naming them after you (you always leave me breathless)  Delivered
5:10- I can't love you quietly im sorry you should never love a poet who vomits up there emotions and holds up the mess for reading (numb)  Delivered
5:20- I'm missing you in every moment like you are air and I am drowning (do you miss me too?)  Delivered
5:30- Who will walk me through losing you if you're who I would go to? (I have no one now)  Delivered
5:40- My hands are pens, I want to write novels on every inch of your skin and I want to write my secrets on your lips (I hope you don't ignore my texts)  Delivered
5:45- I've seen you 2 am crossfaded, 3 am panic attacks, 5 am endless tears, 6 am no coffee, and you have always been beautiful to me (always will be)  Delivered
5:50- Loving you is loving the way the world turns and loving you is loving sunsets and loving you is easier every day (I ******* can't stop loving you)  Delivered  
5:55- Sometimes loneliness ices my blood so my heart is left stuttering in my chest (not much longer now)  Delivered  
6:00-  The thing about aching is once it claws into you, for some reason, you want it to hold on and now I spend all of my time at home shaking at the seams and carving my name into the floorboards waiting for someone to ******* notice me. It used to be you. I miss you. **Not Delivered

Color the insides of my soul
With a black gloss paint

Empty the blood from my veins
Replace it with lava,
Keep it flowing through my heart

Fill my brain with tar
Let it harden,
To keep the headaches away

Turn my bones to to ash
Paint then neon orange flat paint
Because that's my favorite color

Make my skin redwood bark
Hard, to help keep away the pain
Because it's too much to handle

Erase my memories
Fill them in with a hypmotizing array
Of all the colors of the rainbow

I realize I'll look creepy
And scary as hell
But at least I won't feel anything
Anymore

I want nothing left
Of my miserable life
From before

How much have I really lost?
How many times has happiness
Slipped from my grasp?
Is it really destiny?
Some happenstance collection
Of random encounters?
Random chemicals floating?
Neural synapses firing?
How many times has a moment
Shaped the rest of my life?
A moment so inconsequential
That it eludes my memory.
A green light I barely missed.
An extra ten minutes because I couldn't find my keys?
If I'd left on time would I still have met you....
Or would you have met someone else?

Old text messages are the devil
Because they show that one day
it was *"Let's go get coffee together."
And that day led to making out,
behind a shed neither of us owned.
They show that the next week,
you were on your way over
to my house.  
"On my way."
And that day...
oh, god, that day...
I trusted you.
I said no.
My trust was misplaced.
You violated me anyway.
They show that you kept in contact;
you texted me daily for a month after.
As if nothing happened.
As if my life hadn't been torn apart.
"I love you."
"You want to get coffee again?"


(d.d.b)

My grandma committed suicide
When I was six
I'm sure it was my fault
Was I not good enough?
Did I not meet your standards?

What did I do wrong?

My best friend
For seven years
Left me last year
For an unknown reason
Was I not kind enough?
Was I just too weird?

What did I do wrong?

Someone said I am stupid
Lazy
And dumb
Am I really?
Am I mentally ill,
Do you think?

What did I do wrong?

I don't know what I did
But it must have been me
It's always me

*What did I do wrong?

I met him on facebook
His eyes are what got me
That beautiful smile
A pose that could melt me

He said hello
I said hello back
He said I was beautiful
I said thank you

A week later he said he was falling for me
I said don't fall for me
He said you will fall for me to just wait and see

Two months later and I fell  for him
I told him I loved him
He said I told you you would fall for me

Six month later he said he was going to visit me in time for Christmas
Something came up and he couldn't come
It broke my heart but he said soon

March came and went and still no Jim
He said I'm come just wait for me
I keep waiting

July came and went, and still no Jim
He said stop riding my *** I will get there just wait and see
He said don't give up on me

Two years later and still no Jim
He met some one else but says I'm still number one
He says that he loves me
He says she will be for both of us
How can this be

Another six months and still no Jim
I've talked to the other girl she seems so nice
She loves him deeply and is willing to share

I gave it some thought cause I loved him dear
After all it had been three years

My heart was so broken and my head so ****** up
I actually thought I could share a man I loved so much

One day I woke up
Realized he just wasn't worth all of the pain
I wrote him and email and said my goodbye
He never wrote back
I know my decision was right for me
His lack of response was enough for me

Being loved is a weight that bends my bones.
And it's only a matter of time until I'm broken.
To be loved means worry
And I can't have you worrying about me.
Until my bones heal, I cannot reciprocate your love.

The hens were sleeping
A crisp cool breeze was blowing
And the full moon shinned
The chicken snakes crept inside
To begin their feast
Then one of them fell in love
His cold evil heart
Was struck by Cupid's arrow
He licked the hen's beak
She awoke and fear overcame
The farmer heard screams
And all the chicken snakes fled
That is all but one
While trying to win her love
The farmer chopped his head off