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 Jul 2015
Bella Anima
Distance.
Maybe I'll just distant myself from everyone.
Silence.
Maybe I'll just keep my words to myself.
Presence.
Maybe I'll just erase my presence in your life.

I'll fade away
Slowly
As I swallow your sorrows
As well as mine.
 Jul 2015
Kenn Rushworth
Single years roll down my face,
I send smoke signals to teenagers
Lost in the sound of their personal midnight,
Changing their names to ‘lost’ and ‘gained’
and remain unquantifiable
in the loose streets of halogen New York,
or the loose streets of halogen anywhere,

Some places you don’t imagine, only experience,
Some places you don’t  visit but get sent,
Some places demand sacrifice of years you don’t have,
Some places are just prayers and graffiti,

And here, here
The railway bridge adorned,
with tags and padlocks
and ****** fluids with different stories,
I see all the streets and city embodied,
She has a face like blunt force trauma,
Her legs are seductive and her hands
are covered in blood,
Her lover’s smile is an open wound.

In these places there is a fire in every tower,
In these places there is something sharp in every pocket,
In these places there is a sad drawing in your child’s notebook,
In these places there is always a ticking growing louder.

A foetus in handcuffs beneath a middle aged man
hanging from a traffic light;
Incidents unrelated,
Become dead words in piles of boxes,
That don’t realise they tell us how
this city or satellite town
is gathering the dirt for its own burial mound.
 Jul 2015
kiryuen
head bowed and knitted brows
I can’t lift my eyes off of the ground
what was it you said the last time,
about “chin up, God’s face is there in the clouds
look for the silver lining, it’s in every cloud”

I’m sorry I can’t do it

named my fear Abel and my wrath, Cain
named my pride Jordan and my lust, Jezebel
“don’t name them,” I was cautioned, “you’ll get attached to them”
I don’t think I will see you again
I am an avid sinner
and you, a man after God’s heart
I would say congratulations on making it to heaven
but I’d much prefer it if you were here

my account:
I think I heard Him calling as I fell through the cracks
but whether it was Him or my imagination,
I couldn’t be sure
in times of despair we often hallucinate of hope
thought I saw a hand reaching
but was it dragging me or lifting?

your account:
I remember watching as she fell through the cracks
and He called her name softly,
coaxing her gently back home
I saw His hand reaching,
swiftly breaking her fall
but she thought it was attacking
and so she fled

I wonder what it’s like to show up at the pearly gates
hopeful heart and bated breath
or downcast eyes and wringing of hands
I’ll come before the pearly gates only to be turned away
as Saint Peter flips through the Book of Life and shakes his head
sighing at the sad vacancy where my name used to be
my dear, I don’t think I will see you again
please tell God I thank Him for calling my name
and extending a hand to break my fall

tell Him I’m sorry I ****** away

Abel and Jordan, they are my friends
Jezebel and Cain, my partners-in-crime
the bond was forged as soon as I named them
and I found myself growing to fall back on them
they lived with me here on tangible earth
while it felt to me like God lived only in the clouds
needless to say, I grew closer to sin than salvation
what can I say, they are what is familiar

you told me there’s a silver lining to every cloud
I didn’t tell you
when once in my rage I ripped it to shreds, discovered:
the silver lining in my cloud
was a sliver of tin foil and nothing more
these are the things I will tell you when you're gone
 Jul 2015
Priscilla Leglette
I pay no mind to the man in the doorway
I've been learned that he will do no harm.
I diverge my attention from the knife in his hand,
Though I feel like calling out an alarm.
I pay no mind to what I hear inside
I've been learned that they don't mean a thing.
I keep the shriekings behind the bars of my cage
Though they often dance out when there's drinking
I pay no mind to deep grayscale urges.
I've been learned to work to give a ****.
I have a head who'd never lead me that way,
Though it's become harder to herd all the lamb.
I pay no mind to the changing of eyes
I've been learned that it's purely of face
I cover my own as I try to ignore them
Though they see how they're planning a race.
I pay no mind to the battles I witness
I've been learned to accept all our world.
I turn off the screen and cover my ears
Though the fists of my hands each have curled.
I'm delusional from having no sleep so I'm not sure even I know what all of this means
 Jul 2015
niamh
A merry, mirthful clown,
I came upon a town
Where the stench of despair
Hung heavy in the air
And the ghosts within the town
Wandered aimlessly around
******* dry the joy of others
Delivered with the kiss of lovers.
No laughter can be heard
Or the trilling of the birds,
Only the silence of the tomb
In this ugly, poisonous womb,
Giving birth to fear and sorrow
With no hope of a tomorrow,
Spreading illness and infection
Eradicating all affection.
And though I long to leave,
I am granted no reprieve.
A sad and lonely clown
I cannot leave this town.
The despair of others can so easily drag you down
 Jul 2015
emptydurbansky
I love you
You keep saying this to me
Expecting me to start undoing my bottoms
But that picture of you and her has been burned into my memory
You act like you two are just friends
But you are also a liar
Tell my wrists you love me
You are the guilter
Love to make others endure your pain, rather than dealing with things that are actually your fault
A table turner
Youve put yourself inside more than 20 bodies
I'm sick
I'm sick to my stomach
My tears stain my face like window pane glass catches rain
You tell her I'm crazy behind my back
That I'm JEALOUS
I want to claw your eyes out with rusty swords
I want to cut your tongue out of your mouth with a saw
To stain white carpets with your blood and not my own this time
I want to put your head on a spear and throw it down into the deep depths of the ******* ocean
I will show you ******* crazy
I want to rip your fingernails off one by one with a pair of tweezers
I want to shave your hideous eyebrows off your face
I want to cut off chunks of your hair with a swiss army knife and then bleach it
I want to gouge your eyeballs out with toothpicks and feed the remains to the piranhas
I want to pull all of the muscle out of your body and leave it for the ******* flames
Don't call me baby
I want to wax all of the legs hair off you
I want you to fall in love with someone
And then make you watch videos tapes of them cheating on you
Over and over and over
Until your eyes are a blood shot mess
Dont ask for forgiveness
You will never receive it
You are the devil reincarnated
I swear
I wouldn't be surprised if you were Satan's spawn
I hate you
I hate you like
The way my grandfather hates hypocrisy and things all against the bible
I hate you
The way my grandmother hates disorganization
I hate you
Like the way my mind hates my body
I want to wrap myself in a cocoon and never return until youre gone
My body misses sleep so much
But yet, here you sleep perfectly and j wish I could wrap my arms into your conscious and turn the switch back on
Why won't you change
I have never met anyone so disgusting
My chest physically aches when I heave for air
Because you've been sitting on my heart like a dagger
You're wounding to everyone around you
I am so sick of your voice
Hell I'm sick of my own
I just, can't figure out how one person can make you so sad.
I hate everything
But especially you.
Mostly you.
 Jul 2015
Brett W
I finally deleted all your photos
What I do now, no one knows
Those memories were my old foes
Bringing me to new all time lows
It is now over six months later
My state of mind has been greater
It's been shredded by a cheese grater
Now to be buried in it's own crater
My heart has no home to now go
It has been lost with no clear hero
No one to help it heal and to grow
Leaving it out in the open like a doe
My heart is searching for a new friend
As my last two deserted it in the end
My heart needs assistance to mend
Or else it will rot away in the cool sand
 Jul 2015
mikev
I take my time once in awhile!
Other than that
It's whatever that happens, happens
You can take everything from me.
The food.
The fuel.
The fridge.
The friends.
But the fire is mine.
 Jul 2015
Dead Lock
The pain it creates cannot compare
To the joy she knows that will soon be there
It's worth the scars that will never heal
For just a moment not to feel
 Jul 2015
N Paul
I want to write it all; all of it. Every last word, sentence, phrase, poem, story, tale, feeling, joke, song, garbled hunk of nonsense streaming from my mouth hole like from a tap until the whole world drowns in just what I want to say; to let them know that expression is here, in my mind, in theirs, whispering in the trees outside, singing from every atom that can bump and grind and make things feel or see or sigh.

I want to sit within friends late in the night heads bobbing nod nod nodding as we agree or disagree or pedigree our intellect as we refine the phrases that make us sound like we know. Cos when you sound like you know, that's when you get heard, and if anyone's gonna get heard, ain't no one better nor worse than us. Cos nobody really knows; no Oxbridge don could ever write the wind, measure my kiss on my darlin’s skin, capture what the rosy points of her cheeks do to my brain, my body, my soul, my Attachment to this world.

So Hear me, O merry gentlemen! For I am alive and feeling and that is all the PhD I need.- If only you could see what’s dancing around in my skull... but you don’t have to! Use your own ivory mug! Really stop and think and you’ll see more than in a million poems roar within an eyeblink. Know it and feel it and see it all; the whole stupid shining racing roaring- untameable- restlessness of it all! Put down your pen and paper and rush out in the air and rejoice truly in the warm company of lovers and friends, in the sweet hum of guitar strings and in the savage itch of the insect's bite. In loneliness and mourning. In boredom and steady working with clever hands. And love, never stop loving, or hating, or appreciating, or caring, or crying, as long as you are feeling. For sometimes it seems we should always be in pain from one thing or another, yet mostly from the bubbling exasperation of positive go-get-em ***** for life.

For we read this clunky tongue of ours and say it’s what should be but there is more! For life through all its prisms can impress upon your vision a beauty neverending, yet to sense it quivering within a page is a spectacular sight indeed. So let’s leave the rigid, the impersonal, the stymied words behind and let's form a new expression, devoid of convention, one that cries joyous face-first directly into our souls!

So, Cry, onwards! And let's weave this tender tongue of ours, golden! Let's stack this world full of less-than-sane streams of speech tangled images driving shards of true experience into each other’s minds, until we drop dead deep in our bones from exuberant exhaustion. Let’s follow Kerouac to the grave; cheering, and keeling and full of tender feeling and find a meaning in words that can transcend into being. Let’s **** and watch and listen and do and learn and laugh and notice laughter and mark it for the concentrated joy that it is. Let’s sit quietly and attend to those things around us and ruminate without ever forgetting our surrounding- which include, of course, the ever flipping ever spinning and unwinding tapestry of our mind and others'.

Let’s find joy, or the maker, or whatever, same-meaning trap clap-trap of a name he (or she) has in your sticks, in what we can touch and feel and see, and inside those we know and those we don’t. Let’s make language a human thing that radiates warmth for all, and bridges us to those around us so that none may feel alone or scared unless they long to for glorious masochism, or curiousness, or any things they so do please. Let us travel, and dance, and loose hope, and find it, and live it.

And write tenderness into this world.
 Jul 2015
shhh
if we were to part today,
would you be sad?
i feel as if all these bonds were just end  one day,
everyone is going to leave me one day,
and would feel not the least bothered ,
oh how little i meant,
oh how little i worth,
oh how alone.
long sighs of exasperation,
no matter how much i value these bonds,
everyone feel so far away,
i am far away,
i am scared ...
all i feel is pain.
even in the greatest of joy.
 Jul 2015
themotionless
Anyway. Just because you believe in something it doesn't mean that anything will come of it. Sometimes you suffer great misfortune for believing in something too much. There are times that's it's tough to believe in anything at all.
 Jul 2015
Aron
My love for you really ****** me up.
Why?
Because up until now,
even though we haven't talked anymore
I am still missing you
and the crazy part is,
it really hurts so bad.

It is driving me insane
and you are nowhere near
to help me,
but it is okay
because I want to spare you
from the miseries that
I am feeling right now.
Yet.
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