The thought of holding your hand nearly drove me to tears this morning
It was not the taste of your lips, nor the way your eyes pierced right through me,
A chain reaction of thoughts led me to the hopeless memory of simply clutching your hand as you drove along

You, you beautiful cancer, still pollute everything

This life has taught me that we are promised nothing,
Least of all that love will listen when you simply ask for it to *stay

A skeleton structurally unsound
Every bone vibrating with
The echoes of *goodbye

What you don't seem to understand
Is that healing is a process.

Depression doesn't go away in a night
Not even a month or two months.
Yeah, I may be feeling better on some days
But I'm not all the way there.

There is a process
Which I haven't finished yet.

I've come to realize
Most of my problems originated with you.
I'm trying to get better but you are still getting in the way.

Your nagging, your constant pressure
Is spiking the anxiety
Which is causing a downward spiral back into my abyss.

But you know what the worst part is?
You don't even notice.
You don't even listen when I tell you.
You don't even try to understand.

Where's your lady?
asked the chimpanzee
the bear looked askance

the tiger growled
zebras rolled
macaws looked in trance.

Where's she
your lady pretty
queried the lone rhino

it's not good
this solitude
roared the lion with raised eyebrow.

Did you lose your way
this November day
when the sky's blazing blue

this fair weather
you aren't together
how come asked the shrew.

Your face it shows
shouted hippos
this fine day of November

boars did grunt
scowled elephant
you're lost without her.

They were so true
alone at the zoo
emptiness surrounded me

daylight though gold
sky blue bold
I roamed unhappily.

A fraud, I mistook you for a mystic and also took your word
How could I not, you sang my name and you sang like a bird
You kiss like a knight
And all your lies at first seemed white.
All mild, harmless, benign, small and inconsequential
But your ******* bohemian circle is still shallow and preferential
Small and inconsequential, that's what I am now
Small, no one can see me
but how?
how does one dissolve into nothing but still feel it all
No I'm not worthy of love, but still I hear her call
In the lonely night, the winds lonesome cackles
Scared and lonely, romantic shackles
I swear I ache and ache and once again ache
For the next time this hopeless heart of mine will break
God knows I ache and then ache some more
Wanting a man to leave me sore
But they just leave me sore.

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe.

The monster with fingers made up of sticks
Taps on the bark, Click, Click, Click!!

The monster with eyes of glowing red
Stares at your soul, feelings of dread

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe

The monster that growls a deafening moan
It sinks inside you, small or bit grown

The monster that walks and stalks its prey
Sounds of it's footsteps, come closer it stays

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe

The monster with shadows as big as a house
Darkness surrounds, chasing the mouse

The monster with teeth as sharp as a knife
Cuts through the flesh, a moment in strife

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe

The monster it whispers "Don't be afraid"
All in my head, things that I made

The monster it sits alone in the end
Lonely and sad and tears never mend

Can you see the monster in the trees?
Hush for a moment, start to believe

I awoke in a dream
Surrounded by a bilious familiarity
Angry shades of the drying blood of hope
Caked over venomous fangs of discontent
Stagnant shadows of effluvium
Emanate from the molten flesh
Of this creature I seem to know

But how, how do i know this putrid soul
This being, born of irascible acrimony
Seething breaths sear my senses
As I feel the pounding heart
Scream within it's chest
Aflame with the atrocities it has incited

Yet, in it's gentle eyes there is no malice
There is only the reflection of an angel
Gossamer vestments blow in the stillness
So effulgent in the darkness
Again, familiar and uncomfortable
It's eyes bore into mine that reflection of heaven

I could not see myself in those eyes
That gaze seemed to hypnotize in its polarity
As I floated unseen, I looked at this being
Seething miasmata while reflecting a seraph
Acidic tears of truth fell from within my poisoned soul
As the creature and the reflection merged in the bluest flame

And transformed my spirit into flesh
I am both the reflection and the being
Living the anguish of the truth of what I am
Fighting every  moment to be less than and more than
Pretending that I do not embody the dichotomy of bile and bliss
Seraph and succubus
The truth and the lie

Behind the flashing lights
Blinding but she smiles
Her beauty and her charm
Enthralling

Big hair, red dress
She bats her lashes
"Tu es très belle, ma chérie!"
Flowers, kisses, strange men
And she smiles as always

Her story unfolds
As she dressed up for the show
Chiffons and laces
All night she dances
And in the morning
with all the glances
She hides her pain under her big sunglasses

Not one of them cares
What she hides and what she bears
For they will never see
Her precious diamond tears
Nor hear her anxieties and fears

Home at last
Once again
She grabs her silver flask
Drenched herself in her cocktail of sadness
Then she gets undress
But not that she can't address
Because everytime she looks
In the mirror it says
''Tu te ments à toi-même comme toujours''
She wipes off her make up
And she cries as always



-Ma Chérie, Margaret Austin Go

Chaos of my thoughts
refuses to settle.
I try to drown it in ink,
to calm it in poems
that paper can't handle.
Hours later, here I lie.
Kissing the darkness
pleading to starless skies,
to silence,
the demons of my heart.

By the time we reached the final act
our dialogues turned to whispers
warmed us the pledge to the silent pact
we would be rehearsing under the stars

dew would damp the players' cloth
all but the two were gone
who were tied by the burning oath
must shape their roles to perfection

owls hooted in the night's shadow
world slept behind shut door
we were numbed to the time's flow
by the sounds of claps encore

one the alien had blood thick green
that only the ****** revealed
when unbeknownst was cut his skin
by the other soon to be killed

that time now ***** to yellowed page
long back fate set him free
my skin is now bold in age
he's evergreen in memory.