I woke up still dreaming,
A silly little seeming.
I dropped a cup upon your door,
And your mom to my wonder, beckoned me forth.

She asked questions I must confess,
My mind remembers not but my heart craves, even at rest.
She smiled down knowingly,
and in that, Moment, greedily,
My mind played tricks to give me reason
To find you again, to beckon forth
As if I was ever a prince. And you anything but, a nevermore.

Oh, such, poison, sickly sweet,
In those hazel eyes, and bountiful *****,
In your perfect hair and perfect smile,
That in my dreams a stranger convinces me, it's worth a while.

Oh, broken heart, still beating,
That even yet still needing,
Something from days best forgot,
From traumas that still burn hot.
Go away, I say. Find a new devil to ache.
Nay, nay. Nay.

Ah am I more scared to remember, or more afraid to forget?
And I may never find a lover, not one that's here,
I only look in the distance now.
She's the only one who can get near.
Just me and my regret.
Still just you. My Amanda Dear.

For months now I've suffered,
Being unable to forget you.
Now I have realized
I do not want to.

I took the photos of you off
My mirror today
I came to terms with being fifty
You are not too young for anyone
And I may or may not be too something
It's not about a difference in age
It's about living a different life
One of happiness or
  
Escaping darkness
  
Not in this life
Not for me
No more trying

You're not the you I know.
It's difficult to watch you these days. You've gained an air of arrogance
that fair enough, you've always had,
but you don't cover it up anymore.

You were never nice,
but you always cared.
Now,
your lack of sincerity
is painfully evident.

You were never reckless with your words, but always straightforward.
Now you say anything you can
Just to get a reaction.

We used to whisper over cracked phone lines -
"I miss you's" and "I'd do anything to have you here's"
Now we're occupying the same 2 square feet
And you can't even look me in the eye.

You're not the you I thought I knew
And I miss the old you quite a bit.
Maybe he's still in there somewhere
Or
This is the real you, and he who I loved
Is never coming back

Cruel was the fate
They gave me their hate
Any longer, I couldn't hold on
All the chains were withdrawn
So much hate, my heart choke
Inside me you arose, awoke
You took over my soul
My body under your control
You burnt me in your flame
I couldn't stay the same
My eyes wept blazing fire
Wrong choices of mine you admire
Serenity hid because of fear
I may hurt the ones that are my dear
Rage rage go far, only words I could say
Never come back any other day
You were powerful and so strong
I could have done something wrong
The symphony of destruction, the devil sent
I know this moment I'll repent
Over you, I feel so weak and powerless
So out of mind and senseless
My ruth fell on that day
I didn't heard the pleas they say
I could see, with fear they shiver
Hailing the devil, the pain giver
Forgiveness and mercy are lost
Took the revenge at my serenity's cost
What had you made me do
You were that dark, I never knew
Now you disappeared, inside me you are gone
I wish next time I'll hold on
The bloodshed remained in the barren battlefield
The time flew past, the past is sealed
And I'm here repenting, lost in grief
Crying a sorrowful momentarily relief

A simple poem,
Of an Algernon mind,
Once great now low,
Every day I simply love,
A little less.

The flowers of the Sunflower
turn to greet the sun everyday
As the sun travels across the sky
the flowers follow
And as the sun goes down
they droop over in mourning

Baby walking on the broken glass.
Blood on his knees and the blood on his feet.
Mommy curled up in the corner hoping it wouldn’t last.  

Trapped in the bottles he tossed to the corner.
Hoping habits will break.
Replacing one love with another.

Bottles never asked question.
He picked them up and he tossed them.
Hitting the floor and breaking at the corner.

Nothing mattered anymore when he picked up the bottle.
Drowning in the sorrows because he trapped himself onto this carousel.
Handcuffed and chained as he bowed down to the bottle.

Broken father striking out his son like baseball.
Too many strikes and the little boy was gone.
Little boy broken into a broken man.

Picked up a bat and he swung and he swung.
Breaking the carousel.
Liquor in the air and he’s sick to his stomach.

Cigarette holes burned into his sides.
Tattoos covering the glass that invaded his skin.
Breaking the carousel so it won’t ever happen again.

Don't be discouraged
Its hard to take courage
In a world full of rage
Shining through
True beautiful thoughts
Against hearts so darked.

"Be anything" they say
how can we when we are forced to decide at the age of 13 and change our mind.