by Arcassin Burnham

Toilet paper stuffed in her bra,
too much insecurity,
not enough of the real her,
and always wants to be the center attention,
hope you wrapped your head around those books here girl,
all your little incidents we care not for it girl, 

trying to be the kids that are popular,
be in the spotlight,
15 minutes of fame,
will not get you an awarding Oscar,
nobody is perfect , that's the way it goes girl,
being on your own is always best girl,.

Deep in my psyche
Broken contacts spark
Faulty connections
Between my brain and heart

So many traumatic incidents
I somehow survived
Violent childhood
Prison life

Over and over
Throughout my life
Surrounded by thugs
With guns and knives

Losing my children
When they were quite small
Is the most traumatic
Experience of all

I fought to hold on
In the face of adversity
Prayed for death
To escape a grim reality

Then I discovered a switch within
A way to shut down and try to mend

Flip the switch of fear
And now you're brave
Flip the switch of emotional pain
And now my heart is lame

Unfortunately over many years
All that negative energy reappears
Shadows and voices
Paranoia and indecisive choices

It feels so good at first
Yet to switch it off
In the end is a curse...

In a memory
That I had forgotten
A flash appeared
Of a long ago
Deed so very rotten

It took my breath
As I took to flight
I could find no justification
Trapped within eternal night

Funny how we suppress
The memories that threaten
Our integrity
And somehow pretend
That that was never me

Yet now I must integrate
That shadow hour
Somehow forgive myself
Before my hell devours...

It just hung there, rusted shut
Black as coal
Cold
Vibrations
Feeling's
That was not meant to be. I seized
My limbs frozen as if blocked upon
There reach.
Inscriptions placed in tongue
Of old.
"signati inter stratis universi"
I took my camera
Photos where as if nothing seen
Static,
White,
Blank
Visions of a black that cant be disguised around
Blossom of pink delectably spread around.
But beauty often hides the thorns,
That which is perpetual
That which seeps unto this world
Old,
Malevolent,
Malignant
Darkness that is like a whisper
Permeating into this world.
It is a gate,
A portal to a place that light does
Not enter or exit from this place.
The gate to......
I walk away as if hurried from this moment,
Ushered with a momentary....
"Where the hell am I"
"I cant ****** remember the last few days"
"I sense a smell of blossom"
I fell heavy as they tell me
"It's temporary"
I had hit my head some place,
I'll get my memories back.
I open my back gate and my hand retreats
As if knowing of danger,
But I once again reach,
"Nothing"
My head aches,
As I sleep I dream of pink blossom
I see the gate...
They find me three days later
Fear distorted upon my features,
Scared to death, died in my sleep, finger frozen
Out of reach,Scratched into my headboard
"The gate is open"
"The blossom has fallen"
**"The gate, the gate the ga............"

By Arcassin Burnham

We all need a light for our cigarettes,
With full regrets,
And misinterpreted,
Alot of problems in the society,
You better take the crown,
When its due,
Before you get evicted,
Everyone knows your secrets,
Secrets that you can't forget ,
Steady riding your horse,
You call her mickey,
Your friend,
Your sister,
More than a pet,
So when you see your bullies,
Say howdy , how's it goin,
So when you see your bullies,
Say howdy , how's it goin,
I see you true colors,
Yeah,
Your gray is showing,
Or I guess you must be feeling blue,
Is that why I'm the main concern to you,
Howdy , how's it goin.