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 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Would you think me insane
If I were to tell you that you have set me free
That knowing you has taught me
About who I am meant to be?

Something I thought long since dead
Deep inside myself
Was awakened when you looked at me
Like there was no one else

A renewed sense of who I am
Invigorates the soul
I now believe in fairy tales
And love I do extol

It is not a passing breeze of caring
More like a hurricane-force wind
That knocks you over and lifts you up
Like you're flying from within

Two hearts connected silently
Across a million miles
Melancholy fades away
With just the memory of a smile

How can it be that circumstance
Deals such a cruel, cruel hand
To temper fated torture
Almost too much to withstand

For in a love so consuming
That it is laden in every breath
Forced to live so separately
Is a torment worse than death

For at least in death can be found Heaven
Or if we're guilty, can be found Hell
But even hell, if I am with you,
Can be called Heaven very well
copyright©PrttyBrd 14/07/2011
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Sneaking in from the shadows
It fills the spaces too small to see
The heart feels full, masked by joy
Yet, the mind is subtly, subconsciously aware
It lurks in the background
Still, the joy expands like hot air
It lifts the spirit and blinds the soul
Then, it begins to surface
It remains unnoticed for a time, then ignored for longer
It is nothing new, as it has always been there...in the distance
Now, as it pushes through the perceived joy
It darkens the heart,
Choking out pleasure with pain
And joy with sadness
Smoke filled lungs and watery eyes
Yet, nothing has changed.
There is no difference between today and yesterday,
There will be no difference between today and tomorrow
Nothing to do
No one to blame
Unable to force the heart to feel what it used to
Unable to see the good over all else
The change weighs heavily on the soul
And though it is not what is wanted,
It is what must be done, ...
As it is time.
7913
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Clear blue runs cloudy
Midday Sun obscured
Tears dry as they form
Love, through pain, endures
110513
 Mar 2014
John Ashton Upston
So, I remember,
I remember, nothing,
But oh, lord, non existant,
do I dream of everything,
And I have to come to grips,
That she still haunts me,
That's she keeps my **** soft,
Late at night,
When all I want to do is,
Cry and *******,
And she's watching Dexter with another man,
And her life is yet great,
And My life is yet still a sham,
Oh, love, cursed though you be,
I crave you desperately,
It's funny because all you've done is ruin me,
Put me on my own,
Solo, and wrecked,
The crash and the burn the *** and the low,
Without any chance of rising,
Oh, yes, that is how I feel,
And if she saw this,
Would she be sad,
No, she'd just laugh,
For all I've ever been is a joke,
and the comedian is me,
Listen further I'll tell you sweetly as I puke,
Oh, not so discreetly,
But the tears won't come and so I won't hide em,
My love, my dear,
My sweet manda moo bear,
I was once found, now lost again,
Coming to grips with my innate fears,
Though nothing helps,
No gloves are enough,
To understand I am alone in this world.
The fault, the failures my own,
Broken, like the song that just won't play right,
Like the ***** that just wont feel tight,
Pulling out because it is too much for you,
And you call yourself a man?
NO!
No! Failuremore, evermore,
This reality a perspective,
You dream on your own,
While you lose your own mind,
And no one much cares,
Hell, why do I even write,
Write to further my alone,
Loneliness, yes it becomes a state of mind,
A loss of self, A conciousness of lost,
And you cant be, what you were meant to be,
Can you see,
I am coming to grips,
With sadness and insanity,
Forgive me.
But length is not long for me,
In this poor world.
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Existing tethered by hope
to a love not my own
31814
10w
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
He asked to see my words
Joy in unexpected interest
But to share a glimpse inside the emptiness
The truth I've hidden for years
The fact that my feelings lay bare in ink
Though no longer reside in my soul

He asked to see my words
Answers to unasked questions
The truth of my daily struggle
The demons dancing within
The reason my heart is dessicated
The shame of my reality

He asked to see my words
To learn I do not trust
To see the dark prevail
So different from what I show
Frightened to lose someone else
Someone I dared to pretend to love

He asked to see my words
Hidden within is truth
The fact I try to no avail
That I only betray myself
To risk a loss of one so dear
There will be no recovery from nonacceptance

He asked to see my words
31714
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
I did not see.
I could not understand.
I believed I could.
I never knew.
I am sorry.
52410
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
A glance full of fire
Smoldering in your embrace
Burning through my soul
52410
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
All the years gone by
Numbness fills the heart like smog
Slowly creeping in
Filling the space between smiles
Choking out the joy
Smothering love with each beat
Hoping for a change
Fighting to save what once was
One side fights alone
The other watches the smog
Numb down to the core
Is one to fight for the past
Or is there nothing to save?
42911
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Spring's first rays of sun
Fire on a cold winter's day
Summer's ocean breeze
Full moon in a clear night sky
Natural wonders
Glimpses of heaven on earth
Include your quiet glances
copyright©PrttyBrd 12/01/2011
A Choka- From 14
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
Cloaked in the dark of night
The soul breathes
Inhaling deeply
The shadows breed within
Devouring all
Leaching out to maculate
Disseminating its wicked tendrils
Consumption is absolute
copyright©PrttyBrd 22/01/2014
 Mar 2014
PrttyBrd
This, the first promise
A test of trust, of will, of want
No excuses, time will tell
A smile so liquid, designed to taunt
Will there be disappointment
To join me in hell?
31414
 Mar 2014
Eyelash Wishes
That crushing sensation
that you just can't take
no
not anymore.
Please.
No more.

Claw your fingers
through your hair
play that song
again
and again
once more.

Deafen your mind
with a single song
until your thoughts
are no longer muted.

Breathe
deep breaths
exhale slowly
it doesn't help
no
not anymore.

Silently cry out
for someone
anyone
no
there's no one.

Entwined by
your emotions
ensnared by
recurring thoughts.

Trapped by
your regret.
Your health
and brain
scream
to move on,
but your heart
just can't yet
.
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