Time trickles by
agonizingly slow
tick tock tick tock
frustrations grow
They are playing the waiting game

Stung by fate
life's little trick
the sweetest boy
so very sick
Tick tock tick tock, time is just a game

Hands aged with fears
bound tight; she prays
fingers shivering
a grandmother softly says
God keep him safe and end this waiting game

Friends and family
kneel down in faith
praying together
In God's love they bathe
Knowing soon that time is almost here

Fate is fate
and we are all bound by destiny
but in my heart of hearts
I pray that he will be
your happy, healthy grandson once again

*to Wanda, you and your grandson are in our prayers

She is as beautiful
as butterflies in Spring
Her hair flutters in the breeze;
a gentle sneeze
from the soft blowing winds
She is beautiful; she is ...
Her skin glows golden
like daffodils at summers end
and just as flowers often do,
she blooms
In a world of trampled
black and white weeds,
she truly is as beautiful
as butterflies in Spring

*to my beautiful neice Nikita

In the midnight of our days
there is no moon
for me to gaze upon
No whispering willows
or symphonies of the night
Just the blaring days sun
blindingly bright
In the midnight of our days,
there is no quiet of the night
The silent hue of stars
no where in sight
The humdrum of the day
becomes wrapped
like a regifted package;
boring and forgotten
passed on
like one moment to the next
In the midnight of our days
I day dream
of chirping crickets
and hooting owls
of whispering willows
and lone wolf howls
In the midnight of our days
I ache for the peacefulness
of the night

desperate for a break in loneliness
longing to be devoured
heart once removed
prey versus predator
gentle, lays the Beast
slowly fueled by crowds of vacant eyes
primal feasts of flesh
no bearing on the soul
no past
no future
momentarily sated
a life of pretense
constructs of reality morph with mood
crushed and renovated by perception
the soul eats trusting hearts
unable to quench the thirst
it spits out bare bones
and goes on its way
living for the bliss of escape
oblivious to consequences no one else can see

if you could get inside my head
you would know it's my thoughts of you that keep me awake in bed.
the thought that you suddenly might not feel the same,
only finding me as someone to blame.
i look for any excuse to speak to you
any small reason that might start a conversation with you
a minute, an hour it all feels the same,
never enough time to say what i have to say.
so tell me is it true?
have you built an annoyance with me towards you?
have you forgotten about the kisses you stole and heartbeats of mine you skipped?
do you even remember, will any recollection of those nights be missed?
i dont know why but i feel to deeply,
especially for people who dont even see me.
sure they see me but never like i want them too.
i thought that you'd be the exception, guess it wasnt you.

The new dawn is breaking
into our home, into our room
through our window to take you
away, to take you away from me again,
to package you up in a suit and tie.
The light is invading our space
illuminating your scruffy morning face
that I won’t see again for a little while.

I pretend that if I ask you to stay,
to stay for me, to stay with me here,
here where the smoothly flowing cold sea
of sheets between my fingers fail to fill
the spaces the way your warm hands do,
that you’ll assure me that you won’t be gone
for too long, that we’ll be together again soon,
that everything will be fine, right before you pull
your body away from me and let go of my hand
because I do not, will not let go of my own accord.

In a way, you, my dear friends, are in the company of a ghost.
Why is this, you ask? Or perhaps you don’t ask,
perhaps you do not care at all.
If you are expecting dripping ghostly green ectoplasm
or a white bed sheet with holes cut out for the eyes,
then you, my dear friends, have the wrong expectations.
You are wrong, yet
are still in the company of a ghost. A ghost
holds on long after his time, longing
for more time here with his dear friends to feel
loving arms around his neck, arms that are slipping, arms that shouldn’t let go, mustn’t let go,
arms that continue
slipping, those arms are gliding off too quickly, too soon, those arms.

Those arms are gone.
Those arms are no longer holding
our dear friend. He cannot let go
because those once loving arms
have let me go.

This is why you, my dear friends,
are in the company of a ghost.

Stillness

Moments stood still
silent; never wavering
like how eyes sometimes do
I too am still
standing, falling, shrinking
deceptive like the moon
there then not there
shining bright
then dark as night
When moments stand still
I am reminded
that what may be
may not
__________


There is a point where in the mystery of existence contradictions meet; where movement is not all movement and stillness is not all stillness; where the idea and the form, the within and the without, are united; where infinite becomes finite, yet not” 

-Rabindranath Tagore

Change

I am tradition
A creature of habit
All white; no shady grays
Definately set in my ways
I fear the colors of change
and the silent unknowns
I am sometimes an
uncompromisable bag of bones

But what if...
What if I was to change
to eat the words
I can so easily dish out
To change the way I think
about whatever your upset about
To become once again
the flower you fell in love with once
instead of the unbending branch
I have become

I have hurt you I know
however unintentionally so
But I'm telling you now
I'm not ready to let go
Give me the chance
to turn things around
to remind you of all the
sweet things that keep us
tightly bound

Let me show you
that I too
can change

Alone in the dark

Light bounces where you have been

Your scent still lingers

Where I lay my head at night

I dream of you in my arms

Months has drifted by

achingly slow

agonizingly so

and yet I remember

each moment

clearer now then even then

Distances toll

The hurt and pain

frustrations bleeding stain

You left me then

in a world unknown

Masked goodbyes

and feeling alone

Weaknesses suddenly

peering from dark corners

That is life, part of love

acknowledging, accepting

understanding, forgiving...

I am still drowning

from all the little things left unsaid

Like I love everything about you

all of you, exactly the way you are

So many life altering moments

in both our lives since then

So many times I wanted to hold you

and whisper I love you again and again

So many times

I just wanted to hold your hand

Here we are again

just a few days more

and all my words

will come out tumbling;

no more fumbling

Just you and I

sharing our love together