To forget you, I thought I would delete our messages.
Our pictures together, even your number.

I then remembered all the memories are carved in my heart and burned in my mind.

I am here

I am here,
standing on this lonely street corner,
reading the graffiti
spray painted on my heart

Stuck in this concrete sidewalk
where we carved our initials,
unable to move, nor do I want to
seeing a lighted signal stuck on “Don’t Walk”

A street light glares as if happy
with the lost dog ads taped to its body
Hoping to find a missing loved one
and I know how they feel

My cardboard sign reading,
“I will love you forever”
is met with strange ****** expressions
and tooting horns

Yet here I wait, hoping, praying
you will come around that corner
A smile on your face,
pulling to the curb saying, “Hop on in”

And I always will be
if you ever need me, want me again,
standing here, arms open wide
right where you left me

my heart was the gold
you offered to the witch
to get rid of me

in the blink of my eye
another thread frays
and breaks
the apron string one
thread smaller,
more fragile my hold
on your safe keeping

you run onto the field
oblivious to the loss.
reveling in the freedom
of running about with
an odd shaped ball.

I stand on the sideline
knowing you are small
but determined,
wishing for your blind
outrageous courage
yet knowing there will
be tears before bedtime.

the only question is,
will they be....mine
or yours?

If I say I love you
Does that make me weak?
Am I stronger for not showing
Or is it better that I speak
I'm crazy when I'm with you
I'm crazy when I'm not
If I say I love you
Am I better off or not?

My mind is doing circles
My stomach feels the same
I don't know just what I'm feeling
Is it real or just a game
My body just can't figure
Which way that it should go
I'm sure the right direction
Is one my heart will know

I love you girl, like crazy
You know you tie me up in knots
I'm worse when I'm not with you
You control all of my thoughts
I love you girl, like crazy
I'm just a wreck when you're not here
I don't trust myself completely
I need to hold you, have you near

I went away,
For many months,
To discover who I really was;
Just who I am, to this great world,
And why they feel like blood.
When searching deep,
And spanning wide...
I "happened" upon a great wave!
Too big for words,
Only one verb, to save.
"RUUUUUN" shouted one,
Not far but near.
I turned around looked up and saw  
the Son.
"Come here"
Fear embraced me
Hope, my saftey, I Ran like cheetah speed.
And as the waves were at my back,
I stopped and had a laugh.
All is here,
To wipe me clear.
From the face of this existence.
But the Tsunami strikes
With no resistance.
And ears now listen.
The end is hear.
Here me.
"Hell... fear me.
I am the one that will bring you down"
Let faith resound!
No longer lost,
He is found, grounded, and free.
Like an eagle upon a tree.
He's a visionary.
He envisioned, defeat.
Roll with so cold angelic fleets,
That wash the feet, of the worn and weary.
Born of battling, me.
Bored of haggeling sheets,
Made more than most,
Who can see.
Casted the lots in the deepest sea.
He screamed  "Please save me"

it is three in the morning again
and i'm clinging to the t-shirt you gave me
i've whispered your name thirty seven times
to the dust on my nightstand
and the ink stains on my bedspread.
i imagine you cling to her warmth
you no longer have to lie next to
my stone cold, anemic body
i shiver at the thought
or maybe it is the fact
that i have not eaten much
this week and that the weather
is quite frigid for the month of march.
i pull your t-shirt closer to me, trying to
create some sort of heat source. i haven't
had the thermostat on since you left
because i do not have the money to pay
for such things.
the musky scent of you no
longer lingers off your t-shirt,
my old roommate threw it in the wash
so i threw her out.
I cling tighter to your t-shirt
causing my knuckles to crack
and the dry, crisp skin on my
hands to split open
the pain doesn't hurt anymore
i am used to this pain

We used to make paper planes
as flimsy as our confidence.
Nothing ever flew the same,
smothered by the thawing sky.
We counted the seconds
until rain ate their bodies,
"5,6,7,8".

Too afraid to go outside,
mom and dad are gone.
Hovering hips beside
the holes in our walls.
Staring out the window
as foggy breath falls.

Seaweed salad and water
before we sleep.
Thinking about
if the paper graves
are as deep  
as the cheap cliches
in our head.