A gray hippo lived in the zoo
It was so stressful it turned him blue
The Giraffes laughed at his skin so blue
That only made him bluer times two

Now the Lion was wise but a little slow
That's why he wound up as the star of the show
He and Hippo were playing a game of solitaire
While the Lion played fleas were biting him everywhere
Hippo ate chocolate cake
That the tourist threw over the gate
Wise old Lion said ,
"You better watch your weight
Your getting a little thick in the hip ."

"Humph !" , said Hippo ,
"Why do you think they call us
Hip-po-***-a-mus ."

When I was still young and fresh
A million years ago
I walked on edges
Always on the edge of something
Something wild

Bright lights and long nights
Lots of laughter and music
Always music
Singing with the band
Dodging the flying glass
When fights broke out
Howling to the moon
Oh, wild indeed were we

All shadows now, alas
Visions from an addled brain
Pubs, clubs and smoky dumps
Leave no turn unstoned was the cry
More fun than fundamental
And fundamentally flawed, it was
A couple of hours sleep 'fore the day job
With eye-lids stuck together
And walking into walls
But still I wouldn't have swapped it
For all the strait laced straight faced
Wealth in the world

                                 By Phil Roberts

amazingly scurrilous
that little rascal made me jump
on the bathtub
I was barefoot early one morning
woke up at three-thirty a ******* full of beer
half opened eyes I saw him dive
behind the toilet
******
I was trying to do my business
without fully waking up
so one by one i took each cat
to set them about to slay to at least maim
the intruder
and each one yawned said meow is it breakfast time yet
I don't work for you as  they each one did the same
all three licked a paw and yawned like
hey
you woke me up for this?
not afraid of teacup  sized rodents, usually
just a wharf rat and possum ****** them
I got on shoes and grabbed a broom and went
still  needing to ****
to shoo his little fast *** away
and couldn't find him
until a month after I wanted to shower
and when
I walked in the bathroom he was using my toothbrush
and deoderant all up on the cabinet kinda posing in the mirror
so we have reconciled somewhat
I bought a new toothbrush and told
him he is welcome  in this menagerie
just don't ever use my toothbrush again