They try to catch me cause I'm falling from heavens heavy hands.

But I clutch on my mind before I lose it and stay stranded.

The spaces between my dreams is were I'll be standing.

I might never see the green grass as long as the ground's not placid.

I'm a survivor of a horrible accident which is my creation.

My faith died for long time.

But I'm not dead, I'm not dead.
Until I have died..

Sometimes I feel like there is someone inside of me and she's scratching at the walls of my mind and struggling against all the knots I've tied her in. Sometimes I can't fight anymore and she walks around wearing my skin and my clothes and talking like me and laughing like me and breathing like me. Sometimes I know she will do things that I would never do- she screams and cries and cuts us apart and says things just to hurt you and pushes everyone who's trying to help us away and gets angry at nothing and breaks everything. Sometimes I hate everything about her especially how she hates everyone she's ever known and how well she knows how much the lines of love and hate intersect. Sometimes she blurs us together until we can no longer recognize ourselves as separate. Sometimes I am her. Sometimes she is me. And sometimes,
We are us.

Hey you're more than pretty. You're gorgeous. You're eyes sparkle brighter than any star. Your smile beats the moon. Your hair is so much fun to play with. Remember not to starve, purge, cut, tear, stab, poke, burn, scratch. There's no need too. I don't need to see your face to know your beautiful. I don't care what the mirror says. You deserve to know the ugly truth. You will always be beautiful and there's nothing you can say or do to change that.

A fourth-rate Mind
wants to be the big fish in a little pond
without realizing there's a bigger pond.

A third-rate Mind
is the big fish in a little pond
keeping other fish from leaving the little pond.

A second-rate Mind
wants to be in the big pond
but has too much self-doubt to try.

A first-rate Mind
realizes it doesn't really matter which pond it's in
and tries to grow regardless.

***** rids their clothes
Blood spattered everywhere
Broken knuckles
And bodies slumped against the floor
Classical in the background
A rose laying in their path
Smell of ***** reeks
The spicy scent of repulsion fills the room
Do you like that?
This heartfelt scene?
The one you dreamed of?
Kisses and embraces vary among the nightmares
In the sanity of those alive
And hose forgotten
The corpses
Walking holding hands with you today
Yet their blood
It's still in that hall way
Don't forget that smell of regret
Don't
Forget
...
As the morning coffee is brewed

I want to be worried about.

Not in the "she'll do something reckless" way.

But in the:

Did I say that right?
Does she like me back?
Does she love me back?
Would it be weird to text her and tell her I had a good time?
Even though I just saw her is it weird to call?
I miss her voice, does she miss mine?
Do I need to tell her I love her more?
Am I telling her I love her too much?
Does she miss me?

kind of way.

It's in moments like these
where the universe is revealed
I find myself wandering the infinite land
searching for a lover and a friend

The moments of peace
where freedom is revealed
tales of Gods and Goddesses

New music my last hope
my first trip away from home
I am me ! can't you see?
i'm real not a normal human
i'm just meat

Why am i here?
dazed chasing desires and dreams
i could shake the ground beneath your feet
but things don't look always as they seem

Lets sail this ship to escape our past
Sins that killed the innocence while the demons laughed

It's in moments like these i fly high and dance with the stars
where i'm back to the womb

but for others it's just the tomb..


Words Of Harfouchism.

~

I cast my eyes towards the sun,
beyond the darkened fence, the fielded midnight thoughts,
watching, through clouded images, knowing eventually
I will witness the birth of a new day

I reach with my smile in a curved line
seeking a destiny still unknown but written
in verses of future phrases,
which will come to pass…in multi-colored inks of affection

I send my heart on waves of scented mist,
collected from the corners of my world,
flowing free from silent words and favored gestures
of desire’s endless intentions

I hand my love to nature, freely, willingly…
so that it may be delivered amidst
blooming jasmine and truer promises…to you,
before another dawn’s light finds your beauty and you awake

I cast my eyes towards the sun…yet I seek not its light,
nor its warmth…for all I seek is you

~


Lying here between the folds of an uncaring sheet
A wind chime blustery morning calls me from slumber
Tracing shadows on dark walls through desperate eyes
Counting minutes on a clock’s reflective markings

Rain drips from altered eaves steadily, slowly falling
In syncopated patterns on damp grass clippings
Teasing my mind in the endless possibilities
Of what my desires, even at this hour plead

Your image finds me, still and silent
Questions come in long sentences
Breaking down dreams of distant church bells
Wondering if we truly could be, together

Will you ever find love again, could you
In the arms of one who imagines your beauty
Tastes your lips in midnight thoughts
Feels your skin on chilly twilight sighs

Of this I write, not because it is who I am
But because it is what I was meant to be
Poetically entwined, metaphorically wrapped
Draped upon your heart in phrases of collected verse

Read aloud as a smiling sun approaches
Whispering your name over the horizon’s wonder
Echoing of this affection that drains my soul
And longs to breathe you for the very first time

From my pen flows desperate ink
In lace-like frilly fonts of an italicized nature
Curling around these words penned in the dark
*Hoping you see, hoping you read, hoping…………