If you grew up in Canada
Or in the north of The States
You know of the rules
Road hockey creates
shoot the ball wide
and it's your turn to chase
Keep shooting wide
And you'll surely lose face
Keep the stick down
don't slash and don't hack
Or once this game is done
You'll never be back
Don't run up the score
Don't shoot for the head
You can shoot at the nuts
But, if you hit them...you're dead
It has it's own language
It's a world different by far
And there's more game to play
But right now......CCCAAARRRR!!!!

Don't worry it's not what you think
Another tale of woe
Of Tiny Tim and all the rest
And the ending we all know
Scrooge and ghosts and la de da
They do it in one night
But, that was Charles Dickens way
It's time we got it right
Nobody works the way they did
The poorhouses done and dusted
If Scrooge was here and lived today
You know he would be busted

So, I'll bring you up to date on this
And Scrooge can come on too
It's been a couple hundred years
Let's make this carol new

Scrooge had let Bob Cratchit go
Due to labour laws and stuff
He didn't have a union
But old Scrooge had heard enough
Every year the same old thing
And every year he cries
It's only for one day each year
At least till his kid dies
So, Scrooge was sitting home alone
Checking files on his screen
Debtors owing money and
Re runs of Mister Bean
Scrooge kept his accounts on line
So he could work on them at home
He got more done here anyway
He felt more comfortable  alone
While surfing through his evict notes
A pop up screen appeared
It said "I am The Marley Virus"
And Sir Scooge, I should be feared
Scrooge cursed the interruption
He thought the virus was a joke
But, when he tried to clear the screen
A face appeared and spoke
Right there before his rheumy eyes
His partner showed his face
Ebeneezer hit delete
But Marley held his place
I'm not a ghost like olden days
I'm a virus now you see
I've moved into the future
And Scrooge you must hear me
You will not get a visit
From three ghost like stories old
We've gone hi tech, it's apps you'll get
And your story will be told
Three icons will be on your screen
Once I have told my tale
You'll click on each of them in turn
And you'll ignore all your mail
Each application will come forth
And will take you back in time
Remember Scrooge, the end result
Could be the same as mine
But, Jacob, I'll delete them
I'll run a scan and then reboot
The reason for your being here
Will then be surely moot
Marley let a piercing howl
And he left Scrooge with his screen
The were just three icons there
Where his desktop once had been
Scrooge clicked one, it opened up
It was Christmas past for sure
A video of Scrooges life
Was playing now, and more
The background everchanging
Showing Scrooge in younger days
When greed and avarice were not
The ruler of his ways
Remember now, we're modernized
No ghosts, so all went well
Scrooge remembered all the good times
As far as I can tell
The video ran on and on
It showed Scooge when he was nice
He thought you know when all is done
I might just watch this twice
The screen went black, the music stopped
And two icons took their place
He clicked on icon number two
And he opened up it's case
Donation links appeared at first
To charities galore
But Scrooge just passed on over them
In fact he showed them to the door
He saw the files of eviction notes
And of receivables and charts
He knew that he would lose one day
And the next, would need to start
To work on all this quickly
Year end would be here soon
He'd evict all of the deadbeats
And then they'd sing a different tune
He saw pictures of Bob Cratchit
Of his family and his brood
Of their meager Christmas Dinner
And the apparent lack of food
He saw how they were happy
How just together meant so much
And beside their electric fire
He saw a tiny crutch
He watched the clip and saw the pics
And in the end it warmed his heart
But there was still another icon
And this app must play it's part
You know where this is going
So, I would drag out the tale
But, in the end all his possessions
Went on line for a huge sale
He clicked upon the icon
And all his files reappeared
And then ...right before him
Each account slowly disappeared
Written off, deleted gone
No money did they owe
The ledger had been vanquished
No balance did it show
This took almost two hours
Each entry in the wind
All accounts forgotten
All eviction notes were binned
Scrooge, we know was changed then
We heard he was a better man
But, in truth he only changed one thing
A new virus protection plan
Remember, it's the future
And corporate greed is still around
And no accounts will be forgotten
Till Scrooge is six feet in the ground
I know you know the story
You want him nicer in the end
But, if that's the way you want it
Go watch the movie once again!!!

I've picked on all those Christmas sweaters
and the letters we recieve
I've written about Santa and the Angels
and the things we all believe

But, I have never ever written
About the food we choose to eat
I've never picked on Christmas Turkey
and all the other kinds of meat

At our house for our Christmas dinner
We'd get turkey, maybe duck
It was always something different
And it wasn't just to save a buck

One year we sat down to dinner
something different every year
we had pig, goat and chicken
and one year we sat down to deer

Birds of every sort have fed us
We've eaten things I can't describe
But, with every meal we drink a little
to **** the taste, we must imbibe

One year we had some seafood
Drumsticks there to be had by all
Octopus, was on the menu
It fell off a truck back in the fall

To tell the truth , a Christmas Turkey
Is not something that we get
I love the surprise at the table
Eating what we've not had yet

What we get, our dad runs over
most times squirrel or a deer
We get more food when he's been drinking
So we always send him out with beer

I know that we once had rabbit
Thought it could have been a cat
Another Christmas Dinner surprise
And that is all I'll say on that...

Merry Christmas...enjoy your turkey

Sitting in a pool of ****,
other peoples ****,
**** all over me,
I am nothing,
just an object,
a still life subject
art school joke,
I'm a mess,
a **** stain,
a fugitive on the run,
running away from life.

Her nails digging into the tree,
her legs opened wide.
He sunk deep within,
filling ever inch inside.
Mating calls meshing,
moans and grunts rent the air.
He begins to move faster,
while pulling on her hair.

I can't believe he's this deep inside me,
It's so **** heavenly,
I burst out with a primal scream.
It's like a fantasy, I'm living out my dream,
All those ****** novels I read,
Pictured through my mind,
He pulled my hair even harder,
I came almost instantaneously

Her essence flowed freely,
Surrounding him in liquid heat.
His thrusting became faster,
and the pleasure was Oh so sweet.
Hard as a rock,
one more pounding ******.
He sank into her deeply,
and explodes in a rush.

I could feel his hot seed,
Filling up inside me.
The exquisite pleasure almost
made me come once more,
He leaned his entire weight into me,
His breath on my neck
was felt to my core,
I realized I never asked his name
Yet, he'd pleasured me like never before.

"I have seen you from afar, to shy to say a word.
Still, I know your name not and feel kind of absurd."
"I have seen you looking
and have noticed you too,
I wanted you for awhile,
and didn't know what to do."
He kissed her then,
softly upon her lips.
Holding her against the tree,
still joined at the hips.

I drip as I grip onto your hips,
while I nurture your nectar and sip
Your ****** has me going crazy,
'cause I'm craving to be lazy
and lay on my back while you ride
me, but I think I might have died
This pleasure makes me feel like Heaven,
and I won the jackpot like 7-7-7
Your depths are coming down upon me,
while I sew some of my sticky seed
right into your box, with me begging,
"Baby, I swear I'm gonna make you mine,
'cause you have me feeling so sublime."


            *~To Be Continued~

I was one drink in on Friday night
I heard the church bells 'cross the square
When the barkeep signalled next one's free
And to me, this was quite rare

There was Billy, me, two drunks and Sue
and a waitress name of Shirley
She said "that bell just rang on sixteen times"
I said "that means it's early"

the bell rang on four days one time
found a cat locked in the tower
sister mary nice as pie
thought our bell had found the power

she ran through town spouting off
how Christ has come again
when it was a 42 pound tabby cat
making out like old big ben

the pastor ran to city hall
you see he'd lost his keys
someone had to stop that noise
made by a fat cat full of fleas

fourteen rings meant two o'clock
fifteen meant half eight
eleven meant eleven and
twenty one meant you were late

it hadn't rung for fifteen years
then the new pastor came to town
I never really trusted him
he wore a smile, not a frown

i'm here to bring the church to you
i'm a pastor of the people
I laughed when I heard him say this
I wasn't going near his steeple

the church had been built catholic
turned Lutheran for a bit
United, Pentecostal too
And then the Baptist group bought it

they had a real fine choir
did great shows, and fixed the bell
it hasn't rung right since that day
Now the Baptists left as well

They run a new age service now
you know, electric candles and fake wine
confession is a long dead ghost
and you get penance points on line

they don't hold service Sunday's
the pastor, he sleeps in
they pray together through the week
and to me that is a sin

the bells go off eight times a day
sometimes nine, or even more
they keep the pigeons from the square
and shake the paint right off the door

I sit and worship faithfully
at the bar, with my drunk friends
with some cotton ***** for our poor ears
to use until the **** bell ends

i'm one drink past the last one
we've bet on how many times the bell
will ring in the next hour
you can never really tell

For now, i'll stay here drinking
with the gang here and the cat
he's deaf as any post you'll see
but he's still near twice as fat

he can't hear the bell's loud ringing
oh.....twenty three...this one's on me
maybe next time will ring sixteen more
and i'll get another beer for free.

When I'm weary
And I fall
She catches me

When I have a bad day
She helps me forget

When I'm cold
She makes me warm and cosy
Inside of her

A never ending love between my bed and **I

I'm not that girl who always fits in,
the girl who always seems to belong.

I'm not that girl who people look up too,
the girl that everyone loves.                

I'm not that girl who is pretty,
the girl who got all the luck.

I'm not that girl who boys want to date,
The girl with so much charm.

I'm not that girl and I never will be...