I tried water
wading, floating, drowning
the pooling and spilling of years
immersed myself holy
deeply to find the fear
dark in the deep end
the coming home to soul
the pain of it all
unknowingly I'd slept
heart wrecked
frozen in fear
unwilling to look
until there was
no other choice
until one day discovering
hidden truths beyond
my darkest void.

today is a bitter day
words are broken windows
poetry refuses itself

people turn their faces from each other
no crossroads for the wounded
looking for their bodies full of warmth
I am alone with my fragile heart
too many objects of perpendicular desire
and no purpose intrinsic to our birth

it's a normal day
some are sharpening their minds
dress up their desire
to use me

today is just another day
the world is devouring its fragments
in the quietness
of hearts

We stopped asking questions
Because we were too afraid to
Know the answers.

i wake up

a wings' flicking,
a gentleness
of waves
crashing far,
like the wind
beyond the window

i wake up

all stolen away,
every shade,
every string,
every crimp,
flattened
- fiat lux untold

i wake up

it looks the same
fear, too, is the same
what is this lacking?
what am i missing?
a moss echoes
in a violence of tides

i wake up

Gravel crunches beneath my feet,
the meadowlark sings it's song,  
Low morning sun breaking upon the dawn.

Across the valley the back lit blue Cascades
majestically fence off the Eastern sky,
as if to hold back the light.
Mount Hood wears the emerging sun,
like a lighted crown upon her regal peak.

Out in the valley harvested golden wheat
fields stand side lighted and resplendent,
stalks shimmering with nighttime dew.  

Ground hovering Fog off the river,
to the eyes delight, rising with the sun.
Crisp clean air as Fall descends,
blowing chill breath around my ears.
Oh how sweet to be right here,
and look upon this sight.

the weight of tears leaves no traces. apparently. pain has no axis of symmetry, but petrifying meanings. everybody must be afraid. there is no point. there is no point in the scream of windows, in the continuity of doors.
in a turbulent ray of light. this destructive force, the orphan desire of a child. its autistic strife. pain, the silent witness of unlived lives. streets keep their rhythm and pretend all is forgiven. rarely is. there are more pains than people. hear the steps in the geometry of desire.  reinvented desire to love. to let live.

every full stop is an abyss of breath.

I am asking you again why there are no shortcuts
When your heart is breaking,
An electric current pulsates through every vein in my body,
Untouched darkness in my brain, good and bad, is sparked,
There are no detours offered,
My pain is drowning me out
And I am sinking, so fast.

Look through the window where waves are crashing against the shore,
This morning there was a girl cast out at sea,
Her fears had driven her out into the deepest depths
She wasn’t even making a sound.

I am asking you the same question again
My soul is laid out naked in front of you,
Ropes are tied to my wrists and ankles,
I’m being drawn as the horse rode by you pulls me
Stretched until my body rips, tears, splits like my heart.

Someone is trying to rescue her,
It is what you tried to do for me,
You told me there are no shortcuts with heartbreak
(As you dragged me from the ocean)
And I believe what we have is rare and beautiful
(As you remind me no love is in perpetuity).

© Sia Jane

I dusted off some dreams
and shot them in the sky
I was short on shooting stars
and starved for higher light
My box of fire seems empty now
my ride is low on fuel
But I will tread on comet trails
and drink the milk of moons

I am determine to be with you forever Lord.
No matter how much I may fail you here God.
For as long as I keep getting up from failures.
I still have a chance of being one of your people.
It's only after giving up do I fail you the most.
Because our salvation is not in us but through you.
Only by hanging onto you and your truths here.
May your Salvation keep growing within me daily.
So I shall continue reading your words and praying.
For others as well as praying for myself as well here.
So that I may grow in your truths as well my Savior.

My first sense of the aversion raised by Frost,
Walls swelled under, yet, I could not exhaust
The barriers confronted on life's twisted path.
Too enervating loosing one's sole ****** wrath,
I pierce the wall that poets have not crossed
And speak to you, my audience, in verse,
Trusting the directed words that I asperse
Will convey the meaning hoped to impart,
Even more, some verbal beauty from my art,
Into which, fair reader, you elatedly immerse.
Gratified, I, the poet, have but you to thank,
The wall of separation loses one more plank,
Between us communication is not lost,
Better that understanding be dispersed.

We speak and therefore are, Descartes,
Worth much more than gold or any cost.

Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.

For once on the face of the earth,
let's not speak in any language;
let's stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.

It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines;
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.

Fishermen in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would look at his hurt hands.

Those who prepare green wars,'
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.

What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.

If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.

Now I'll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.

from **Extravagaria

"thank you, my heart:
time after time
you pluck me, separate even in sleep,
out of the whole.”*

were I to perform
an autopsy of that morning
no verdict would be self-sufficient:
Love
bursting like a sudden dancefall
in my veins
your voice imparts shivering
to my plugged shadow
and the day goes offline
I offer my skin as a battlefield
for whispers
I wouldn’t compromise with
birds on wire
or diagnose my boundaries
when time is turned into gold dust
among your empty shirts
lodging the imploded silence
and your shaved smile
like a hurricane lamp

the word I hate most is
Love
it says nothing
nothing at all
about you
the hidden dimension
in my flesh
the shape of us
without mercy