Please Don't
Give Up
On Me

Don't count
me out
just yet

I'm Still
Hanging in
I'm still
Hanging on

Dont Think
me as
wasting space

Don't believe
me as
hopeless case

I'm Still fighting
I'm still here

I'm not going anywhere

You
Are
Important
Someone
Cares
About
You

Just thought I'd let you know

I sit beside
the old oak tree.
Blade in hand
about to make the slice
that will release my pain
if only for a few.

But then a hand rests upon mine
Freezing me to the spot.

"why do you cut?"
The owner of the hand says.
I look up to see a beautiful young girl
Probably no older then me.

"If you have to ask
Then you clearly wouldn't understand."
I say shaking her hand away.

The girl gives me a sad smile,
Lifts up her arm,
pulls back her sleeve,
revealing the skin underneath.

I just gasp
and stare.

Criss crossing scars
some old
some new
no inch of skin spared.

"I understand perfectly"
She says

"You want to stop the pain,
that's killing you inside
you want the sadness to go away."

I just stare at her
unblinking
not knowing what to say.

She sits down beside me,
leans against the tree,
lifts her face to the sky and smiles
that hauntingly sad smile.

"I'm not as bad as you
No Offense
I only do it every now and again
When the pain becomes to much
I finally say,
Wanting nothing more
then to get away.

"I use to do that too
Just here and there."
She turns to me
eyes shimmering with
unshed tears.

"But then the pain gets worse and worse
And few cuts here becomes to much
To the point where it becomes your crutch

"Please don't do it
Please Stop"

I stand up
I'd had enough
"Why should I listen to you?
You clearly haven't stopped!"

she sighs
and in that sigh I heard her pain
I heard her struggle.

"Just remember you have people who love you
They would do anything for you
Anything to help you
Lean on them
They will be your strength
When you feel like you have none left"

And with those parting words
I awoke from my sleep.
It had all been a dream.

Throughout that day
I couldn't stop seeing
Her eyes
Her smile
Hear her sigh
The heartbreaking pain
was clear in every one.

Later that night as I sat back to watch TV
My mom and dad doing their own thing
My father got out his newspaper

"Such a sad story
A young girl committed suicide last night
slit her wrists
Her little brother found her in the bathtub
She was already dead when the ambulance came"

My Blood went cold
My breath stuttering
in my chest
I rushed over to him
snatching the paper out of his hands.

And there she was
The girl from my dreams
Smiling up at me

I guess she
was trying to
save me from
her untimely fate.

Can I just Give up?
Its what I want to do.
Take this blade
and end it all.

Can I just lay down
and accept defeat?
It'd be so much easier
then living in hell.

NO
I CAN'T
I WONT

I want to
I so despretly want to
but I know I can't

My family they need me
They want me to stay.
So I will push it all away
and learn to survive.

With her eyes cast down
she pulls away
from his warm embrace.

The lust the desire
its all clearly there.
But with a strength she didnt know she had
she keeps him at a distance.

Nothing more
never again,
can she let her gaurd down.

She sets her goals
she will not break

Never more will she know
the feeling of his comforting embrace.

Take center stage
in this play called life.
where the script is
lost to you

The main act
is your self destruction.
For all the world to see

Your dagger held close
scars spanning every inch of skin.

Should I end it? Should I stay?
The ****** of this life's play

Bring it down to your wrist
the pulse rising as your delima grows

the world holds its breath
everything slows down

The turning point

throw down the dagger
it clanks to the wooden floor
Stand on this stage
look life in the eye

*I quit it with the suicidal recital