---

i'm going to be off the site
there is something I must write

while i may seem to be gone
i won't be able to be on long

don't be saddened. I'm not bereft.
i've not been hurt. I have not left.

there's a story to be conveyed
a friend who has a lot to say

i'm writing series for her right now
i have to research to learn how

my mom is better, which is good
but I'm still caregiving as i should

i've been in a sort of daze
because i've been off site for days

talking with people on the phone
doing all the work alone

I'm writing this post as i am
don't want to be the source of spam

i just want to let you know
'cause some folks felt the need to go

but I'm not under troll attack
i'll be gone *but i'll be back

I'll have regrets
the day I die
I'll have unanswered questions
that around me fly
I never went up to the moon
I never saw Napoleon's tomb
I never crossed the oceans deep
Nor stood on top of Himalaya's peak
I never thought we'd say goodbye
but time just slipped on by
And now I sit here feeling sad
wondering if life has me had

It doesn't matter anymore
The memories's weight
I can pull no more
I'll just lay down and die
and to this world I'll say goodbye
Then as I walk into the light
I will be full of fear and fright
But it will all be okay
Happens to us all on any given day

He remembers auburn hair

like the color
flickering before him

along Hwy 261.
Thoughts of yesterday

fill his mind 
on this journey.

Roan Mountain fades

as he steadies the wheel

beside the constant stream
of white hyphens
on the blacktop.

Flashes of her

blend into the mountains.
He dwells on her

and their daughter
who now flaunts ringlets

bright as the autumn patches

among the forest display.

While he’s driving
the rear view mirror
reflects 
his creased forehead

like his mother grew
from her many worries.

Travel grants him time 

to think of them.
“Mistakes were made.”

A cop-out rests in that thought:

he made mistakes.
He broods

when he’s in the driver’s seat.

I present as a strong figure,
A father who is decisive,
Fair and consensual
To the point of sacrifice.
I overheard:
     Don't worry. It's only Dad.
Well, that's not quite true.
I'm not belly-aching,

How many picture frames,
Or video clips
Will you find me in?
Who held the camera
For twenty years?
King Hamlet knew:
Remember me.

You should know
I have the feelings
Of the aggregate.
We share fear.
I know you're afraid. Me too, but
You learn to live with it,
And sensitivity is a strong potion.
I see reflections of my eyes in yours.
You're easily hurt.
I hide this one.
You're learning to do the same.
Can't blame you, but fair warning:
The benefits and disadvantages
Are equally weighed.

No doubt we've been involved
In abandonment and lonliness.

Being sensitive,
You overthink everything.
Don't.
It causes worry;
Worry begets worry.
Too much time worrying.
It's an emotional overkill.

***** me, I bleed.

Dads are sentient
Under shining armor.
You can tell by the chinks.

i

Mine needing just to heareth her voice
I pray may cometh soon
The needing of me being her choice
I prayeth to God's moon.

ii

The asking of ourn creator to protect her nightly
Is a must thing, praying asking he, her he might bring
In lullaby's, cry's, and screams, I'd wish she'd only see
I've been held up in the rain, waiting endlessly.

iii

Like her, I'm a foreigner to this trotting
Man showeth her naught, I giveth her mine pale skin's outting
The knitting of her love Into me, instill's me tightly buckled
If only she'd taketh all of me, I might smile a happy puddle.

iv

Though smiling only cometh when her face shineth bright
When I am assured she's safe and secure, then all is alright
Mine stitches needeth bandaged, shalt she seeith mine wounds?
The red drip canst only floweth so long, wherein song's art true.

v

Though I shalt still be here abiding, as a spawn to open water
I shalt even take men's ridicule, Ill taketh daily slaughter
Tis I shalt be a martyr, to the amour I believeth in
For I shalt tarry waiting, for that hope from mine hopelessness.


©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Elsa angelica dedication

i

Hollow tree, ****** me with thy apple I want to grab
Let me pluck thy fruit, mine lips art mute, grasp me in thy hand
Oh divine, thy juice doth unwind, into mine mind, gentle time
A crime for none, a loving- sum, nostalgia from whence was..

ii

Thus mine shoulder's art tearing me down, pound by pound
I don't careth anymore, for this useless town
Put me in the ground, embalm mine faculty
I'm on hand's and knee's, a fool for just one tease.

iii

Slap me in mud, giveth me a native brooch
Just a pucker shalt awaken me, a thoughtful smooch
Wherein the fears go away, wherein that one stay's
Guess I'm just alone, wherein I've numbered mine days....

•

                                                              ­      I dig deeper into your love,

Not knowing the deeper I go,


                                          The nearer I get to hell.





                           © Earl Jane
                             ♥ E.J.C.S.

they come when resistance flees
with no way to appease
they bring me down to my knees
those feelings are my disease

emotions, i try to replace
with just an empty space
i can ignore them, but i can't erase
those feelings that i won't face

Before you fall in love with me
You should know I won't love you back
You'll spend every hour of everyday loving me and I won't return it
I'll kiss deeply and roughly and even ******* like never before
But love will not be found
For I have been broken by men
My love has been stolen from me
Please know it will never be found