I lost myself today.
Not through malice,
nor through darkness,
but the revered wonder of
what my future may hold.

Our future is a secret
and the secrets are hidden in the stars.
Each one glistening brightly,
waiting for us to reach high enough
and pull it down,
and become who we are meant to be.
You don't want to be sad?
Lonely?
Loveless?
Selfish?
Lost?
So reach......
As high as you can,
and live the best version of you.

Life is like a weather-man's parade,
A spun-out ride of calamity,
And,
Causation,
Such details lost like blue winds,
In ever-green plateau's
Or high desert mountains,

All of the images,
My mind displays,
Are radiating,
Yet transparently,
Confining themselves,
Into whatever isometric language,
They deem fit

You make me smile,
and the far sun hotter,
add rhythm to my potter.
Your dance in slumber out numbers all other,
my present tense that opens spaces;
I feel the sunshine on my face,
I feel your sunshine on my face.

why is it two years later i still find myself crying over your death

gold as the sinking sun
the cloudy sea,
burnt to the colour of autumn leaves,
floods with blue.

Im about as subtle as a gunshot wound on a Thursday afternoon
and everyday when I wake I forget how to use my feet because
you were the bones in them and now you are missing

one day will I be able to say your name without sounding like
***** in a wastebasket in an office

without sounding like a dead deer carcass in a stream

last spring you took me to the park
and we walked the trails and layed in the pine needles
like nesting phoenix and I think you burned me on purpose
well I have yet to rise from those ashes

all I ever did was ******* love you

remember when your parents went out of town
and I spent the night in your bed and when I woke up at 11 am

I saw the sunlight streaming through onto your face and oh my god
you were just so beautiful

remember when we got drunk and spent the night
in your backseat after you threw up 3 times in the street

do you remember
do you even remember me

I think of you at least 7 times a day
and I always thought you were all I ever needed
but here I am now

learning how not to need you

the pull to your core riles my attention
the pull is dedicated, though not to you.
your core is what I'm after.
you represent an immature version
of us, I add in my growth and we
continue to develop.

though you are merely a fraction,
we are spread far. the pieces
rile my attention, create a tunnel
that emblazons my affection for myself.
for us all. in each meeting,
I am looking for you.
my thoughts are captured
in the essence of the trueness of everything,
the fragility, the permanence of nothing.
flowing in this interaction, the balance.

it seems life must be short.
my daughter calls me to live long,
I wake each day to embrace another chance
to sit in myself, in this body,
to witness this vantage point.
I get lonely in here, my tribe spread thin.
I know that the energy of
the spread of a galaxy realigns us constantly.
we create the things that communicate to
hear our own memories.
and I am just thankful,
all other emotions lacking substance.