His body floats on the surface,
Limbs spread wide and bound to the water,
An "X" marks his place on the planet.
Ankles and wrists between water and air,
He submits to a force of nature,
An "X", half submerged in the waves.
It says, "You are here",
but the ocean has more "there".
The water is a woman.
The sea is terrifying,
But he won't ever fear her.
A force of nature does nothing for spite,
Nothing for greed,
Nothing for personal gain.
His death would be clean.  
Honest.
Absorbed, even, thoroughly, back to the source,
The waters from which we all came.

canyon wren
sings her sweet song
perched upon
the piñon-

for my love
who lies beneath-
the cottonwood
twee twee twee
tsheeeeee.

:)

r ~ 10/3/14

You're ******* me up,
And tearing me down.
You throw me around,
So I might spare the whole town.
But I don't give a ****
About the ones with a frown.
I'll only spare the ones
Bestowed with the crown.
But you can't make this crown
For the ones with a frown,
Because the ones in this town,
They are solely unsound,
And can't turn it upside down,
To sprout life from the ground.
Not for you, not for me,
You'll eventually see.

And what happens here,
When you turn them all loose?
They all run wild,
Like a lonely stray goose.
But, you see, when you pull out
The notorious noose,
Stability and order,
Is all they dare to produce.
They just can't turn away,
From the hatred and dismay,
They can't sort out the disarray,
Without rules in play,
And as humans of clay,
They'll slowly decay,
And no matter how much you plea,
They'll drown in their own sea.

They lust and they ****,
And they fornicate.
They deceive and they lie,
And obey with closed eyes.
They **** and destroy,
With the men they deploy.
And the ones who take lead,
Are compelled by their greed.

But I'm not going to lead,
I'm no kind of dictator,
I fall more easily along
The lines of a perpetrator.
I glory in chaos,
And overpower creators,
Of their "society" and "order",
I spawn black ash and deep craters.
But I'm not always insane,
Sometimes I like peace,
And I'll take any great lengths
For disorder to cease.
I isolate myself from them,
And only watch as they fall.
Hell, if it weren't for you,
I'd have killed them all.

But you're not the same,
You're gentle and sweet,
You give them endless chances
Because your faith won't deplete.
And even with me,
That I'm not quite concrete,
You give me your heart
That I struggle to complete.
And so just for you,
I contain myself,
And work to keep my worst
Up on the shelf,
Try to bring out my best,
And let my soul shine through,
It's the only thing I think
Might bring me closer to you.

'Cause in my eyes,
You're all that I need,
You're the only I want,
For whom I would plead.
So I leave myself defenseless,
And simply out of affection,
I make you my one weakness,
The only one crowned in perfection.

You're not making me happy like you used to anymore.
Things don't seem the same as they were before.
I don't want to give up because I know this can work,
But it seems like my mind is regressing to the dark.
You've been quite a wonderful person to me,
And I can't comprehend why now it seems to be
That you have lost interest and now just conform,
Like you're just playing along, just riding out a storm.
If you're tired, please say so, 'cause I don't want to weigh,
You need not be so kind, every single day.
Don't pretend that you're here when you've already left,
And me keeping you near is little less than theft.
I can't read your mind and I can't feel your soul,
But I'm not one that you should have to console.
If you want to, stay with me, and please don't leave,
But if this is pity, then don't stay, I won't grieve.
For clearly what I saw may very well not exist,
But I won't just automatically mark myself off your list.
I want you to be you, and to speak only truth,
Because that's how I am with you, I can give you proof.
But this isn't an argument, I just want to know,
Wether you really want to stay, or would rather just go.

I don't know what this is.
I thought I didn't think of you that way.
I can stand to be around you,
And not feel anything special.

But it's when you do certain things,
Or when you look at me a certain way,
That I just can resist you,
To want to kiss those pretty lips.

I don't know why.
We are in the past.
I don't see you that way.
You don't see me that way.

But sometimes what you do to me,
I just can't understand,
You're doing something I can't get used to,
And it doesn't seem you even realize it.

What is this,
Just what is this?
I'm not sure what I want,
For you to stop or not.

some nights you will feel
like there are a thousand galaxies
exploding in every inch of you
and you are burning too bright
to ever be looked at directly,
and some nights you will feel
impossibly small, like your
whole body could slip through
the spaced between atoms and
never reappear in this world again,
and some nights you will feel
like a paper doll, carefully crafted
and easily blown away, fragile,
too delicate to ever be touched,
and some nights you will feel
like each cell in your body is
made of the strength that holds
the whole planet together,
and that is okay because you are
made of stardust and miniscule
atoms and breakable bones
and the building blocks of
everything in the universe,
and you are too alive to never
feel anything more than human

Girl,you're pretty
Now stop starving
just to be skinny

Girl, you're beautiful
Nothing can get down
Now eat that meal till your tummy's full

Girl, your life is precious
Don't risk it like this.
Walk with your head held high
And look at the positive things

Girl, I know it's hard
Near relapses, family
and your inner war
Learn to stay strong
Ignore their taunts.

Girl, remember you're beautiful
Someday someone's going to love you
and fade all of your blues.

Girl, you're you
With your talents
and dimensions
Those models on cover pages will never be you

There he is.
Lying on the ground.
Alone in the cold, waiting to be found.
He's oblivious to the cries, the terror, the hate,
oblivious to his slowing heart rate.
The hard earth beneath is slipping away.
Death is doing its all to make him pay.
For how dare he not cry out in fear?
How dare he smile when death is near?
Yet his resolve is solid, intact and pure.
His sacrifice is his pride, his nectar, his cure.
The bullets that tore his body apart,
left untouched his mind, his heart.
Flooded with tales of his homeland's wins,
He's overcome with emotion as he thinks of long gone sins.
His lips curl into a contended smile,
his thoughts are away by many a mile.
In the jaws of death, his mind on his nation,
His soul is adrift in obvious celebration.
For what way to die is better than this?
Giving life for your country is such a bliss.

Life is bitter sweet, though always there for the most delicate moments
Through the short bursts of truth that will leave you cold on the bathroom floor
covered in shaving foam and your own blood
The spinning record that tells you to cut your hair and to give up on her
It doesn't have that B-side you wanted  
Yes, life is Bitter sweet
Said the cab driver on the way to hospital
A close call was not enough
To hide that family secret
But bandages hid it well enough
Velvet linens and a torn Hallmark card must have made the day
After a promise to be polite
a swallow of another aspirin and a bus ride home
try another dose of razorblades until there are no more feelings left

Don't date a guy who won't make time for you.
Don't date a guy who makes you feel unworthy.
Don't date a guy who can't appreciate your feeling.
Don't date a guy who can't accept you the way you are.
Don't date a guy who makes you insecure every single time.
Don't date a guy who breaks your heart everyday.
Don't date a guy who can't make you feel that you're the only one.
Don't date a guy who makes you wanna **** yourself.
Don't date a guy who makes you drink a beer to stop your tears.
Don't date a guy who is too cocky to say sorry.
Don't date a guy who can't understand your words and your silence.
Don't date a guy who is stupid enough to let you go.
Don't date a guy who is temperamental.
Don't date a guy who can't treat you right.
Don't date a guy who treats you like ****.
Don't date a guy who breaks you apart and can't mend it.
Don't date a guy who doesn't know how to make you happy.
Don't date a guy who doesn't make you feel loved.
Don't date a guy who makes you cry every night.
Don't date a guy who let you sleep in your tears.
Don't date a guy who kills you slowly.
*........