Dear Mommy, can you hear me?
Dear  Mommy, am i the person you wanted me to be?
Dear Mommy, I'm sorry your life is not what you hoped for.
Dear Mommy, I'm sorry grandpa went to Heavens door.
Dear Mommy, I really do love you...
Dear Mommy, don't do it, please, is there anything i can say or do?

I know this isn't what you wanted your life to be like.
But it's like learning how to ride a bike...
Sometimes you have to fall off and scrape your knee..
Sometimes you feel the wind on your face, and finally see..
I know we aren't the best of kids and i promise we will do better...
Please mommy, don't write that goodbye letter...

Dear Mommy, i am writing this to you, though you will never see..
Dear Mommy, i still love you, even after all you have done to me.
Dear Mommy, i am sorry for the pain in your heart..
Dear Mommy, please don't leave us, we have needed you from the start.
Dear Mommy, i don't know what else to say or do..
Dear Mommy, i really do love you.

Life has been hard for you.
And it has been hard for me too.
I want you to know  i love you and i will always be here..
Please, put down the gun, you're doing this out of fear..
Taking your life away won't make things any better for you.
It will show us, if life gets hard, we can do what you do..

Dear Mommy, please, don't say goodbye..
Dear Mommy, i know what it feels like to want to die..
Dear Mommy, i can see your pain and i want to help you.
Dear Mommy, if you die, i die too.
Dear Mommy, i am begging you to see..
Dear Mommy, through all this pain, you still have me....

I have seen the wonders of the world
in a month of new experience.
I have let people in for a change.

I have met the kindest, most helpful angel
on a road trip off to nowhere.
Too gentle for his own good.

I have felt the warmth of laughter
in the ladies' room while having a smoke.
I was walking on clouds.

I have heard the focused, resonating silence
amidst spaces in a study room.
A pin dropped.

I have seen the sad, the happy,
the lonely, the mighty,
the inferior, the hustle,
the coziness, and the wind.

I have seen it all, my love,
and still I remain unimpressed.

The spiral down
Holds you tight
No matter how
Hard you fight
Seems like such
A waste of time
When you find life
Is the killing kind

No time to laugh
No time to cry
No time to believe
A single lie
First you’re born
Then you die
No time to say
Your last goodbye

Oh, but I hold on tight
‘til this breath is gone
Nothing lasts forever
It only lingers on...

sometimes it's a shuffle; sometimes a jaunty stroll
it depends what he's found that day
sometimes it's a smile he gives; sometimes a bit of a scowl
it depends whom he's seen that day
sometimes he does something new; sometimes the same old same old
it depends who's joined him that day
sometimes it's a warm evening ahead; sometimes a storm
it depends on the weatherman that day
but it's always a slow walk home...
… to his cardboard box … every day

I knew one day, I would have to grow up mentally and physically. With each hour of every day growing steadily nearer to the time, I would be consider an actual adult. I was suddenly stuck by a great thought. That thought, grew into an superb idea, which sprouted into something I could grow upon. A foundation to live off.

To be not as a child nor an adult.
For I am me.
Neither but both, entirely.