I went down the the gas station
for no particular reason,
heard the screams from the high school
it's football season.
empty lot the station faces,
will probably be there forever.
I climbed over the four foot fence,
I was trying to sever the tether.
moon in the sky, cold as a stone
spend each night in your arms,
Always wake up alone.

I lay down in the weeds, it was a real cold night.
I was happy until the overnight attendant switched on the floodlight.
walking home I was talking to you under my breath,
saying things I would never say directly.
I heard a siren on the road highway ahead.
kinda wish they'd come and get me
frost on the sidewalk, white as a bone
tried to get close to you again,
always wake up alone.

and as i was crossing our doorstep,
i hesitated just a moment there.
remembered the day we moved into our small house
'til the vision got too vivid to bear.

you were almost asleep, halfway undressed
i lay right down next to you
held your head against my chest.
and a guy with any kind of courage
would maybe stop to think the matter through
maybe hold you still and raise the question,
instead of blindly holding on to you.
but we crank up the heat
and you giggle and moan,
spend all night in the company of ghosts,
always wake up alone

On top of a stained mattress
There is no love,
just oxycodone-loading-
and memories, "Tender, please"-
take ten of these-don't fake a dose
because I am close.
I am close.
I am close to you.

I feel okay, I feel okay
Well, I don't know-I don't show.
"Wait, don't go."
I feel okay, I feel okay

We don't show, no.
"Wait, don't go."
There are only memories
of when we were young guns.
We are too true-
take your oxycodone-
and it's terrifying.

On top of a star,
"You'll go far."
I love you enough to go to L.A.-
I feel okay, I feel okay-
Take your oxycodone
to get through the day.
And kiss me goodbye
before you try
to swim through the stratosphere,
my dear-it's clear.
It's near.

"Wait, I want to say-
before I slow motion
this emotion
that starts with a commotion
in my chest-
that I love you best
and it hurts to let go,
but it's not because of you.
I didn't know.
I didn't know what to do.

And it's true,
and that's what makes it terrifying.
My world is salt,
my sluggish love.
So, take your oxycodone,
because you don't want to feel what I feel.
And you don't want to reel like I reel."

I feel okay, I feel okay
Well, I don't know-I don't show.
"Wait, don't go."
I feel okay, I feel okay

We don't show, no.
"Wait, don't go."
There are only memories
of when we were young guns.
We are too true-
take your oxycodone-
and it's terrifying.

Mother, Father
I am six foot one and I can see over the trees
I can **** mountains and bury my bones in the soil
I am six foot one and I am just tall enough to see the truth
I can look over others but I can't look over myself
My shoulders bend like a bow, waiting to break
And I can feel it all. I can feel it all.

And to you,
May your temporary smile be a golden forever
And your heart existent with or without hope
Let your brain open doors your hands cannot touch
And your chest not collapse when the smoke is too much
To live and to love with you is the grandest adventure
And to cut myself on your edges, bleeds into itself
And to live in your heart, is the biggest place I've ever found
And to kiss you until my hands break and there is no sound

And to all of us,
We're a dark piece of trash
Ribs are a cage and holographic souls sing
Disenchanted by the human experience
We're pretentious and objectify everything

And to all of us,
We're all light, we're all eyes wondering wide
And we all shine bright, some of us cannot hide
May your hands slant, slowly slinging
towards the bells that are slowly ringing
and may you strike a chord in all of us.
May your existence be a temporary forever.

But I might
Wear you out

Life with me
Is both relaxing

And so very
Not

Here
Take my

Best boots
Bring courage

Bring trust
And a

Bottle of pure
Adventure

Come lover
There are

Mountains with
Our

Names on
Them

We went and got lost in the woods,
Didn't we?

Laughing through it all, as we do.
You're beautiful picking blueberries

Like some Eve of Eden,
Not the least bit worried that

We'll lose daylight before finding
Our way,

And cute as Hell when asking if your
Tongue is blue; sticking it out

With your eyes closed.
I brush pieces of forest from your

Shoulder. Somewhere out there
A leaf still smells of you,

The way my hands do now.
I can't stop putting them over

My nose and mouth; agreeing
With the memory of you stating

That we're the most juvenile
35-year-olds we've ever seen.

Lost?
We never were.

Even my doctor says I seem
Ten years younger

Than I did only
Weeks ago.

Don't drink.
Don't smoke.
Drive slow.
Don't love.

Don't pat the animals;
One in a thousand
Might bite.
You'll be safer in a pine box.

Sometimes it's the
Cure for cancer
That kills
You.

The ugly jazz in your stride,
Your snow drenched tombstone simper,
And your bruised peach overcoat of skin
Have been dethroned but
Will never be replaced.
My hearts a museum and
You're the big T-Rex all the kids came to see.

My passport says I'm 1.89
Metres tall. I carry pallet jacks
Up stairs at work.

I can bench press 130 kg
On a good day, about 30 more
Than I weigh.

I can punch through three layers
Of sheet rock, still I just
Picked up my cat

And held her a good while.
Because I needed
A hug.

i've never been to
a confessional but i
told you i loved  you
while you held me in a
dark bedroom and i
think that's close
enough.

I promised myself I wouldn't drink
This morning, but
Ring of Fire was playing on the
Radio as I showered.

I guess we shared some demons, J.
Well, here's to us. To how
My father played your songs
For me when only my mother's

Skin and bones were between us.
Here's to you and me, John.
How I cried when June passed, but
Drank to your joining her. To

How you boom-chika-boomed to
The taste of the ice cold beer on her
Warm lips in New Orleans
As we stopped among the piles of

Katrina rubble just to take it all in
(Including each other);
That we were there. Together.
Here's to you, John. To how Rick

Rubin was a prophet sharing your light
One last time with the humble masses
Before it went out. As it should be. As it
**** well should be. To

How my father loved you his whole life
And never got to shake your hand
(But I brought him to meet Willie,
Which was almost as intense to the old man.)

No rest for the wicked, John. So I'll
Never pray that you rest in peace.
I pray that you rock on -June at your
Side- Going to Jackson, when it's

Springtime in Alaska. Remembering
Forks wedged in the walls of San Quentin
And gritty glasses of water served.
I'm putting on my black shirt after

This drink. Then guitar, boots that could
Kick out the foot lights at the Grand Ole,
And an attitude I've adopted with honor.
Here's to us, John.

Walking the
God-
******
Line.