You lose a job
the lover you tied your life with drifts elsewhere
the place you grew root seems not home anymore
the days are vacuous and nights a crawler
your head echoes with the deafening groan

I deserve no love, even from me.

Surely it’s the worst portrait you drew of yourself
and an erroneous one.

The job was filling your purse but emptying your purpose
the lover was no fairy but a fair weather friend
the home was only a harbor you anchored before sail.

There’s a world at your doorstep begging your attention
withering without your love.

Pick up and hold them to your breast
see how quickly unburdens your chest
your spirits soar.

From thence you would never cease
to love yourself from the core!

Once this world was a better place,
Now filled with lots of disgrace
So quick to hide behind their screen,
Bashing,slashing, and gossiping
So you thought she was truly your friend,
Now she'll do anything just to win
Told all of your secrets to any who gave their ear,
Spoke to them your stories,worries, and fear
Remember that there are still good friends,
Will treat you like a princess until this world ends
Don't let it trouble you,
I'll hold your hand till you make it through

...she kept her heart on a chain
never let it run mad like it was born to do
she kept her head in a box
never let it see the light of day
she has keepsakes for a heart
and romance novels on shelves
little dragons decorate her hallway
with little knights to slay them
natural and homespun as can be
she lives in her books
and lives for the day prince charming will come her way
she knits and tinkers her days away
always busy never stops
she is a model prisoner in her homemade jail
ever ready to pardon the thief for a kiss
ever ready to take the burden from the beast
she thinks someday will come tomorrow
and itll be better than promised
itll be sunshine cakes and sweet wine
and she will be done doing time for being a lover not a sinner
she kept her heart on a chain
and her head in a box
and never gave chase to the wild boys
now grown and old

Kissing him sounded like wailing sirens,
a traumatic experience already in motion

Your Dad was never around to teach you things
like riding a bike, or how to ask for the things you want
so you own a dirt bike now and steal for the thrill of it.
I still think you turned out just fine.

I  want to romanticize the way it felt to feel your presence but always being at such a distance from you,
but its hard to make something so painful sound poetic.

Still, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it all, just a little bit.

You'll call some other girl "babe"
and I'll change my mind
the same way the leaves go from green to red and
one day I won't think of trauma when I hear your name,
I won't be calm when I sense danger,
and I won't be at peace when I hear sirens wail.

A cell is not a home,
those bars keep you too far away.
We all try not to think about it too much,
and like this we keep ourselves sane.
We dance around the topic and I pretend not to hear Mom howling at night because if I don't acknowledge it, then it doesn't exist.
Has your vision faded to black and white?
Do you pretend that if you don't see the colour orange hanging from your body,
that you're just in another place?
Another empty room?
Another lonely night spent with  strangers at a location you're trying to make home?
You've always liked the way your hair looked long,
do you still like it now?
Have you began to hate the things you once loved yet?
Like cartoons, or colouring books, or the drugs that twisted and knotted your brain cells?
The drugs that sent you there?
The drugs that keep you there?
Have you began to resent every memory you have of us growing up?
Who do you see when you have nightmares?
Whose name do you curse when you awake in a cold sweat?
A cell is not a home
and those bars are going to ruin you.

What is pathetic?

You know, it’s like when the
forecast calls for rain
and puddles form in your eyes
because rivers flowing
against the current
cause your heart to break
like that thin layer of ice
that seems so sturdy
but is only as weak
as that first step you take
backwards away from the opening
revealing a frigid stare
you’ve seen before,
the last time you saw yourself
as she does now…

Yeah, it’s just like that

A lonely morning
Rain fed and darkness
Slick highways
And laughing traffic lights
Colorful and happy they seem
Splashing in puddles
Wipers hypnotize me
Back and forth
Smearing my vision
As I drive, drive, drive

Our song on repeat
Over and over again
Sometimes it makes me smile
Most times it sings me pain
Accelerating through the intersection
Wishing, I’m not sure what I’m wishing
It is just so hard to believe
We were us, you and me
And now empty lanes go on forever
Just as we were supposed to

I should forget, I can’t forget
My heart will not let me
Turning corners is for others
Those who have a direction,
A passenger to share the ride
Seal belts buckled, holding tight
Hands across consoles
Love on every city street
Finding the perfect parking spot
As I drive circles around
What we used to be

A lonely morning
Rain fed and darkness
And a drive in
That used to bring me to you
Now leads nowhere
Anymore

I sat there watching you and him,
wondering what has he got
that I don’t have
and then it hits me,
he has you