Soak me in the honey
of your *****
I want you to come
here with me
I want to drown in your sweetness
and look up at the stars
see the miracle you are

Let me hold you down
as you pull me in
Partake in this sin
with me

Baby, you and I
our universes collide
one big explosion
maybe two
maybe more
more
more
more

When you retire
exasperated
I'll keep you in this bed
of our love and our sweat
let you catch your breath
before I dive in again
and again
and again

You are soft and warm
and wet
I don't want to end this yet
Insatiable, relentless
Breathless, helpless

Your legs around mine
Your back on my chest
Maybe this is the best
night of your life
until tomorrow comes
again

You said it was the moments in between.

But really

It’s the moments frozen in time with you.

It’s the trivial patter of feet.
It’s way you squeezed my left hip just to let me know.
It’s the way you dry your hair and the world disappears.
It’s the way your head fully tilts back to laugh, and your voice drops a register. my breath only registering against your chest.
It’s the way you kiss my neck, breathing me in.  
It’s the way you allow me to know your thoughts, so that I may bottle them away to save them when I need to be enveloped in the ideas of you.
It’s the way you’ll dance with my two left feet, even though you know the way.
It’s the way your hands move when explaining versus describing, and the shifting of your brow.
It’s the way you tell me you love me and the depths hidden within your eyes.

While the moments in between may hold the foundations of your love,

It’s when time stands still

Where you hold me in the sunshine and the starlit sky,

It’s the way you tell me you love me, and I think I know why.

For you, I would reach up and pick the stars, as flowers of the night

Gathering near, gathering far
Lost in the wonder of what you are

I would fetch the clouds and stitch them together
A coat for your fears
Amid inclement weather

No torrid rain
No howling wind
Nothing could harm or chill you again

I say now as a man-
All that I am, was, and ever will be
Is yours for the taking

For you, my heart, my spirit, my soul
My love, for the breaking

I've seen the future and now bear witness to what I've always known

Your love will be the death of me

And after they've buried my body, long and low, deep and dim
My spirit will rise to write verse again

I shall burst forth from this atmosphere
Far beyond this temporal sphere
To pen your name into eternity

©Jason Cole

the world is a changed place,
what we became familiar with is gone,
we must either change with the world
or be pushed aside by it...
I have chosen to embrace the coming world
and trying to learn the "new way"

every night we dance under
the silver moonlight
every night we spin the tale
of friends lovers and delight
every night we learn the smiles shared
our joys take flight
every morning comes
our dreams bourne of night
slipway into the torn stars as they fade
till night again

and in that deafening silence,
i’ve never wished more to be heard,
wracked with endless demurs of regret and remorse –
impure, impure, impure.

ii.
but it’s my choice, isn’t it?
to bear the knot of pearls come undone,
to feel it shift from skin to soul,
to speak of loving, and then let go.
(i see this now as a luxury i could not afford.) iii.
if i don’t rise come blooming spring,
ring the church bells for those left unheard,
wash the red from the bed sheets,
please unhinge my strife from the earth;

and know this:

a man is no longer a man,
after his unbidden pillage,
has left an innocent soul shaken;
unholy.

holy, holy, holy.

The love lost will be forever enshrined
within the warmest places of my heart,
such sweet sorrow for...
wait, what's your name again???

to be so eloquent of mind
but the mouth is locked
what sweet river that flows in the heart
betrayed by the tongue
this maddening speech
a struggle to say
a struggle to be heard
the stammer does not define me
despite it tripping my boot at every turn
to be so eloquent of mind
with the tongue so twisted

this is for you
•if you're still learning to love yourself
•if you have no idea why people choose you
•if you are anxious and overwhelmed because they said everything's gonna be okay but it just doesn't feel that way

-------
My mama said,
"Do not give them everything. Leave some for yourself. Do not give a hundred per cent so that if they break your heart, you are not left empty."

and so..

if I offer you only 50%
of the Love i have left to give
and keep the other 50%
so I can Love myself, too
will you still take it?
will that be enough?

if I put myself first
and then those I loved before I met you
and only then have time for you
will you still stand in line?
will you still say,
"I'm just happy you are mine?"

if you see all my scars
and my bruises that are still healing
will you still think me beautiful?
will you understand?

if my world starts to unfold
and you see the risk you are taking
for being crazy for staying
for being dumb for believing
in a future worth saving
will you still point forward
and show me the direction
towards
the house you've built for you and me
made of promises I've heard before
of dreams I've woken up to
of hope I have forgotten
and of Love that I no longer trust?

if the 50% you're getting means
the chaos and the mess of my past
and the tears you have to wipe away
and answering the same questions everyday
"do you still like me?"
"do you still want me?"
"are you still there?"
will you patiently say "yes"
over and over
until my anxiety is no longer
the the first thing I wake up to?

if I listen to my mama
(and this time I will)
will you take just the half I can offer
and make it your own
perhaps it'll grow bigger
like a seed that needs water
like a flower in the winter sun
waiting for spring to come
so that one day we won't have to
quantify how much I can Love you.