there are a few things

about death that

frighten me

the sound of the shriek my mother will make

and the

permanent frown my dad will have

every time he stares into the distance

and the

tear drop that will stain my siblings cheeks

every night

and the

lump that will never leave

my best friends throat

there are a few things

about death that

frighten me

and

none of them happen to be

dying

they say that time flies

they are wrong

with every second that I spend

with you

I know that they are wrong

it is us that fly

it is me

it is you

they say time flies as an expression of its limitless nature

me and you have no boundaries

we are

when we are

where we are

we

are

always

they say time flies

but with each tick

with each tock

I am sure it is us

we fly

we are

infinite

I want to lay in the dark

tell you all my secrets

and listen to yours

I don’t want you to reply

or try to console me

and I promise not to do the same

because silence is golden

but true beauty lies in listening

and when we are both done speaking

I want to kiss your lips lightly

so that you know I understand

then I will roll over so that my back is turned to you

and I want you to turn into me

you will place your arm around me

and pull me into you

I want you to trace along my shoulders

and kiss me so lightly

that I shiver

and then I want to sleep

in your arms

I just want to sleep

x

v

In the town's square I sit as a fool
A  steel mask upon my head with ears of a rabbit
Robbing my sight of whom approaches this stool
Their weapon- a stone, as is the lottery's habit

I hear not the assailants, though their strikes hit true
Eyes closed, eyes open, the view is the same
In the weakness of pain, I cry out for you
The very one who enabled this display of shame

The blows come harder, the silence grows loud
Through blood I beg for mercy, no more can I bear
Until phantom hands release me of this shroud
Dazed as I gaze upon a deserted square


No stones, no blood, no mob I see
There is not a soul but me

here i await
the dawn’s first light
to shrug off the cool caress
of the moonbeams
silver tinged, fingernailish beauty
i am a lustrous
princess of the deep
yet i’m here
on this sandy beach
for you sunbeam
i’d gladly leave
my home, my hearth,
everything that speaks familiarity
to welcome your strangeness
soak myself in it, imbibe it,
as i have loved the brine
now i wish to fly with you
on your gold-tipped wings
redolent of your perfumed warmth

so then sunshine,
shall we elope?

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
  25.02.2013.
  Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish

The sky was gray
The earth was mourning
The sun hung low
With final warning

The air went by
A frozen chill
To remind us all
How time stands still

In early hours
In the darkest night
We all hold on
We wait for light

And as it shines
Time passes by
The light is moving
Across the sky

So now it sets
And with the day
All our time
It takes away

The inner pounding in my chest has stopped.
My heart is broken.
regret and self pity fill me with vile sensations.
I want only to cease the pain it continues to bring me in the darkest hour of night.
When I am alone with my thoughts.
A pain that was once joy throbbing inside of me.
Now a pain that kills me slowly with each pump of blood.
My heart a tool of my very own self destruction.
I must destroy it.
Yet I continue to live with it
A daily reminder that I must not end.
A daily reminder that you're slowly killing me.
Inside and out.

a life drowned in music
smothered in depression
and kept in the shadow of my past mistakes.
relating to every word some black man spits,
through the radio our hearts are connected.
I feel every beat in the bass as a stab to my heart.
talking about getting money, ******* women,
and life on the streets.
Maybe we aren't so different after all.
His streets my hallways,
his money my dream,
his women my regrets,
his words my swag.
I rock to the beat of struggle and pain,
a mixed boys struggle,
a life with no end.
Alone? not really.
But a feeling so natural it's comfortable,
a feeling I hate, yet its the only thing that lets me know I'm alive.
A beat so unique once it's heard you'll never forget it
A beat that gets stuck in your head and won't ever come out
This beat is me.

If only.
If only I could go back and save your life.
If only I could go back and tell you I loved you.
If only I could go back and take the phone out of your hands so you would see the road.
If only I could change the color of the stoplights.
If only I could have made the light green and not red.
If only I could go back and stop the truck from hitting you.
If only I could go back and stop time.
If only there was a way to bring you back.
If only.